If you know anything about my family, you know that male-famale ratio is pretty low. As in one to four. Well, if you include the animals, its three to five, but we don’t. What I’m saying is that it’s usually pretty estrogenetic around here. (Did I just make up a new word?)

So on Sunday Benny and one of my Poppi’s old buddies came over to do manly things like hang out in the scary basement to watch the Vikings-Packers game and eat chili spicy enough to make them have to blow their noses every 4 and a half minutes. (After the kleenex were all used up there were brownies, but that’s not too manly, so don’t tell.) I know because I hung out in the scary basement, too; eating the spicy chili (though my nose didn’t run) and dozing through the football game. It was hard sometimes, though, because of the yelling. Packer fans can be rather boisterous. And so help me, Ben, if you throw that pillow at me again I’ll defenestrate you.

After a while, I felt like I was being resented. My dad told me I was cramping their style, and that if I wasn’t down there, they’d be lighting farts and whatnot. I told them that if they wanted me to leave, to just say so; but then I was begged to stay. I guess I’m not the only one that feels that fart-lighting isn’t manly, it’s just gross.

After that, there was dance-dancing, where I was almost taken out by a stray flying fist; and then “V for Vendetta”. The movie was interesting, I’ll give it that.

Whooaaa…too much testosterone! It’s going to take the four of us women several chick-flicks to get the basement back to normal. Where’s my “You’ve Got Mail”?

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Thursday night I came home from work, and the house was quiet. Bonita was talking on the phone in the living room, and I heard a ticka-ticka coming from the basement which meant my dad was blogging.

I found a cup of coffee sitting on the counter, getting cold.
I yelled downstairs, “Dad! Did mom make you some coffee?”
“Oh, dang it! I forgot about that.”
He came upstairs and I asked him where Tiger Lilly was.
“Oh, dang it! I forgot to pick her up from tae kwon do!”

You know, sometimes I think he just gets lost in his own little world. One of these days I’m going to ask him where his pants are just to see if he says “Oh, dang it! I forgot!”

Yes, yes, it all seems very funny right now, but what if he forgets something really important? Like my birthday? Yeah, I know, as if I’d ever let anyone forget that. But what if?

…

Anyway,last night I decided to watch one of my favorite movies (Elf). So I got all comfy in my pajamas and settled down in the basement with my sister and my cat when my friend calls me and asks if I want to go to the Wild game.

“What time do we have to leave?”
“Uhh..Right now.”

So I ditched my sister and Buddy the Elf, changed my clothes and had some fun at the hockey game. It’s too bad we lost.

Ah, well, I know they can do better next time. Go, Wild!

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Tonight at dinner, my dad started singing a song to the tune of “Was a farmer, had a dog, and Bingo was his name-o”. Tortellini almost came out of my nose. That, apparently, was his objective. You sicko.

………

………

In other news, my dad has informed me that I’ve been generating controversy on this blog for a bit over a year now. I can look at this two ways:

It’s been a year already??

or

It’s only been a year?

There have been some darn good times here. I have come to think of the MOB as kind of my extended family, complete with older brothers* (like Kevi-Wevi, Andy and Benny-Wenny), the ‘Volunteer Maternal Protector’ (Cathy in the Wright) who helps me keep them in line, and the weird uncle (Strommy).

I always have fun at MOB events. Would it be really sad if I said they were the highlight of my social season? It would? Ok, never mind…

And to all of my faithful public, where would I be without you? I’ve written about some interesting things that have happened to me this past year, and I’ve posted dumb things that I made up on the spot, and you guys stuck around through it all! How do you do it? Seriously?

*Sniff*…Hold on, I’ve got something in my eye…*sniff*

*That occasionally drive me crazy, like big brothers have a tendency to do…I’m told.

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I have a statement to make about my first paintball excursion:

Aahh-hooooooooouuuuuuuuuucccchhhhhhhh…….

Paintball: One of the funnest ways to get hurt!

Seriously, though; I had so much fun, and I think that I did pretty well for my first time. Kevi separated the Princess and I, probably because he thought our team would have an unfair advantage over the other. We both came away with some battle wounds to show off and war stories to tell (and/or embellish).

Kevin was the captain, and Foot was a fellow rookie, and mostly thanks to Benny, I never had to be the first one out! One game I was actually the last person left on my team, and then we lost because I ran out of ammo. Nice, huh?

I had gotten up at four that morning to do hair for a wedding, and towards the end of the tournament, I was pretty much just a trigger-happy zombie. I slept really well that night. Harder was trying to get out of bed the next morning. Is anyone else still itchy from those stupid burrs?

Anyway, I can’t wait to do it again next year, but in the meantime I think we should have a MOB Sock Wars tournament.

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We made an appearance at the MOB party, my father, mother and I. We brought along a member of my (very) extended family for her debut into MOB society (such as it is). Yes, Princess Flickerfeather came, saw, and even claims she had fun! Yay! I’m going to bring her along to trivia some time, I’m sure she’ll kick butt.

We had oodles of fun hanging out with our old peeps like Surly Dave and his Sweeter Half, Stromy and Margaret, and Benny; and I got to meet some new people: Cathy from Cake Eater Chronicles (she’s new to me, anyway), King David and Mocha-momma from the Far Wright (and yes, that name will follow you wherever you go), Andy from Echo Zoe, and one Joe Tucci.

At one point the Princess and I were sitting outside and a guy walks up and says “Hey, Mall Diva! Isn’t it creepy how I’ve been reading your blog all summer and know everything about you, but you don’t know who I am?” I replied that yes, that was creepy and inquired who he was. It was kind of…interesting… to meet Drjonz.

I was sad that Cathy in the Wright didn’t make it, but I guess she was up to her own shenanigans.

All in all, we had a good time.

(You missed out, Kevi.)

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Hey, guys. What’s shakin’? Let’s see…what can I talk to you about?

Well, last Friday the Princess’s family took me with them to see “Invincible”, which was actually pretty good, considering it was about football. The thing I remember most about that movie, though, were the trailers beforehand. There was one for a movie called “Happy Feet” which I really want to see. It has a star-studded cast, lead by Elijah Wood! Yay! That one had all of us yukking it up. We also saw the trailer for that movie with Ben Stiller about the museum that comes to life at night, which I can never remember the name of. I do want to see it though. I also really want to see “Snakes on a Plane”, but I don’t know if I’ll get there.

Then on Friday night it was Hugh Hewitt’s trivia, which y’all already know about. I was there, just trying to do my job as team manager, and what does Terry Keegan do? He kicks me off our table! Hey, man, that’s not cool!

So I had to go sit in the corner, where I met another lady who had been kicked off her table, too. She told me her husband has a blog called Late Night Rants and he also writes for Anti-Strib. We had fun, even though we were exiled; and I found out that she is from Switzerland. Cool beans, huh?

I also got a couple of photos of my team, but it was hard because of a low battery and people getting in the way. We lost with 17 points, and I’ve been debating on whether I should drop these guys or give them another chance.

What do you think?

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Hey, everyone! Sick of hearing about my birthday, yet? Remember, only 361 days until my next one!

My week was a blast; what with winning trivia, Sock Wars, dresses and presents! I especially liked Sock Wars, where several friends I hadn’t seen in a while showed up. For Keegan’s, though, my memory is a little bittersweet because I really wanted Marty to sing me Happy Birthday, and he didn’t show his face all night. Coward. But, I did get a cigar as you all saw in an earlier post.

Saturday was dress-up day, and we ate cake and opened presents. Even Felix fit right in for this occasion, as he always wears a tuxedo. I decided to put a bow on him for good measure. Isn’t he cute???

We also played a game that Surly Dave taught to us. We have decided to call it “The Spanish Inquisition!” It’s a bit like 20 Questions, but played in a larger group. One person is “it”, and they have to leave the room while the group decides on something to do or be. Then the “it” person comes back and has to figure out what the group has decided by asking yes or no questions (there is no limit in this game). Well, one round I was “it”, and I must be very hilarious, because the whole group was busting a gut at my questions while I was utterly confused. They were so mean to me! What I didn’t realize was that the thing I had to figure out was that everyone wearing glasses had to answer “yes” to every question, regardless of whether or not it was true, while everyone not wearing glasses could tell the truth. There were three bespectacled people sitting in a row, so I’d ask questions of the first two, hear “yes” and then I’d think I knew the solution and I’d ask the last one, my uncle, if the answer was such-and-such. He’d say “yes” but no one would celebrate so I’d ask the next person (no-glasses) if I’d won and she’d say “no.” I had to put my head down a lot, because it hurt. Sound like fun?

But anyway, I had a very good birthday. Now I am older and wiser. I feel older because Sock Wars made me sore; and I am wiser, because I know I need to stretch first next time.

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Day three of the party action and it’s time to shift gears to more grown-up things: a formal tea party. And yes, time for the great birthday dress unveiling!

Wow! What a day! It’s even more fun than this tea par-tay!

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Since most of Sock Wars took place in the dark (or very low light), photography opportunities were limited. About midnight, however, we stopped the games and started to clean up. Something strange seemed to be happening, however …

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The Mall Diva’s Golden Birthday Tour kicked off one day early with a stop Thursday at Keegan’s for Trivia Night and so her “peeps” could pay tribute.

Our team, appropriately named “Golden Birthday” and consisting of the Diva, myself and Kevin Ecker, finished in a four-way tie for first with 19 points. We would have won outright if MD, our licensed beautyologist and fashionescenti had known the name of the new J-Lo cosmetic line. Oh well, here’s our traditional victory token:

Once the important business was out of the way – it was time for presents! A couple of “Old Stogies”, David Strom and Margaret Martin, presented the Diva with her very own cigar, a Black Pearl! (Andy is upset in the background because he forgot to bring a present).

No matter. Andy figures that while the Diva is still too young to drink beer, there’s no law against her wearing it. (Kevin not only forgot to bring a present, he also forgot to pick up a beer to pour.)

For Friday night, on to Sock Wars!

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