*Ahem*
I haven’t posted for awhile. I have almost nothing to post about, sooo… I know! I’ll post about dinner!

Tonight’s dinner was chicken and al dente rice (courtesy of Reverend Mother and Mall Diva. I helped, too — I was the Chicken Transportation). Mom had mixed some white rice and some brown rice together, then realized that brown rice cooks very s-l-o-w. Thus, “al dente.”

So there we were, sitting at our peninsula, munching away. (Oh, and just for all you smart-alecks out there who read my sister’s last post, just because I am assumed to speak the chicken language doesn’t mean that I don’t eat chicken.) After awhile, MD said, “You know, I don’t think that I like crunchy rice.”

“Yeah, me neither,” I said. “Is there any more?”

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It’s just not easy being me. Here’s the dealio:

Last weekend my parents had some golfing buddies over to play cards, and I got to play too! Somehow the talk turned to icky things that make me want to yell, “Go get a secret, secluded room!!!” I’ll just give you one line, and leave it to your imaginations: “Oooh! Is that Latex?” *Tiger Lilly sobbing in the backround.* Why me?

After that, the talk turned to celebrities. Mainly, how stupid it is that all the TV talks about is Anna Nicole Smith and Britney. Zzzz… I’m sorry, how stupid is it to talk about how stupid the TV is? I just don’t an attention span for that. To be fair, there was good stuff, too. We had Chocolate Turtle Cake! *Hallelujuah Angel chorus in the backround.*

Then, last Tuesday I had double Tae Kwon Do. The first class was the normal one: running, hitting, kicking, sparring, practicing forms. The second class was the Special Martial Arts Training Program (SMATP). No, that doesn’t describe the sound we often make, and it’s not ‘special’ as in mental, but special as in WEAPONS!!! (No, Kevin, not guns.)

There are only three people in the SMATP because the test to get in is really hard. But one of our people has not shown up for about 5 weeks. He has Bronchitis. ANYWAY, in the second class I practiced my sweet Boe Staff formation. Then I got to throw the other student. Who is 16. And is a black belt. But Master Yu decreed it, and it’s best not to upset Master Yu (sixth degree black belt and all that). There are actually a few techniques to throwing people, and most of them involve your shoulder. Somehow I strained my thigh muscles. We were training for the demonstration that we have to do at the promotion test next Saturday. Yep, that’s right, I’m on a Demo Team!

Ciao for now, peeps!

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Part 2 to my previous post: do you remember how the Red Ryder Air Rifle for me was a laptop? Well, I betcha can’t guess what happened on Christmas morning!

I woke up at about 6:30, but since I’m not one of the mean kids who
will jump out of bed and immediatley run into their parents rooms to wake them up no matter how tired they are, I stayed in bed until I heard the shower start in the Reverend Mother and The Old Man’s room, which meant Reverend Mother was awake (There was no telling if The Old Man was awake or not). I waited a bit more until I heard the door to the Mall Diva’s room open. I then jumped out of bed, eager to begin the stocking ritual of the morning. I then found out that MD didn’t think we should go into the Reverend Mother and The Old Man’s room yet. So I waited till I heard the shower shut off, then I ran down to grab the stockings while MD knocked on the bedroom door. We entered at The Old Man’s grunt of “Who is it?” and sat down. Mom wasn’t out of the bathroom yet, so we (surprise, surprise) waited.

After a bit, Mom came into the room, and we began opening the stockings.
Here is a list of what I received in my stocking:

A bottle of Jones Fufu Berry Soda from The Old Man
A necklace from MD
Chocolate
Reeses Pieces from Mom
A Candy Cane from Bonita
A tweezers from Reverend Mother

We went downstairs, but we didn’t unwrap presents yet. Mom had to make
coffee first. There was a present for both me and MD, then 5 presents each for both of us. MD and I decided to open the present for both of us first. Dad said, “That’s from ‘The Old Man’,” which gave me a clue as to what was inside. MD took one side, and I took the other, and we shredded the paper. It was (dramatic pause) a box!!!! I opened the box and inside was a

LAPTOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh joy! I was sooo happy. I was sitting there with my mouth hanging wide
open, and MD was grinning wildly. Then The Old Man said, “Now we have to
figure out a schedule for you two to use it,” and MD said, “I know this is more for Tiger Lilly than for me.”

We commenced opening the other presents. I got:

A Dream Pillow that is supposed to ‘reduce stress, induce sleep, and
heighten dreams,’ from MD

A scrunchie from Reverend Mother

An outfit from Bonita

Crest teeth whitening strips (Mom claims that I asked for those, just not for Christmas.)

And a book that I unfortunately already had. I also got a bead bracelet maker, and a gift certficate for Michaels.

Later the family came over. There was feasting of goose and turkey, gabbing and more present opening. My cousin told me that he got “Factions” for Christmas (the second part to a game that I love called “Guild Wars”). He is sooo lucky. But hey, he didn’t get a laptop! He gave me his compound bow and arrows for Christmas. This year was the best Christmas ever, with one flaw. Mom was sick. She stayed in bed all day, except for the present opening. Of course she came down for that. It’s nasty to be sick on a holiday like Christmas, but she’s feeling much better now.

Ciao for now, and Merry Belated Christmas!

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How many of you have seen the movie A Christmas Story? Well, I just saw it last night for the first time (I know, it’s shocking), and I’m going to blog about what happens at our house around Christmas time.

Christmas lists
About a month before Christmas, the phrase around our house uttered by the Reverend Mother is, “Kids! Get your Christmas lists written!” I always get mine written right away, but MD and Bonita have trouble getting theirs together. I wonder why….

Wrapping gifts
It’s a family tradition to wrap presents in Reverend Mother and The Old Man’s (a.k.a. Mom and Dad) room. So as we all vie for wrapping space, the words are, “-family members name- don’t come in here!” But after the hustle of shopping and wrapping we come to:

Presents
You remember that Ralphie wanted a Red Ryder Air Rifle, right? Well, my Red Ryder Air Rifle is actually a laptop computer that is perfect for playing computer games on. But, instead of it being “You’ll shoot your eye out,” it’s “That’s way too expensive.” Tthhpptt. Maybe ‘The Old Man’ had one as a kid….

Concerning the Christmas tree.
When we get a Christmas tree, we let it sit around for a few days before putting it into its little stand and watering it. It’s like the tree must face ‘The Challenge of Dryness’ before it can become part of the décor before it gets thrown out six weeks later.

Family from out-of-town
My Grandma lives in Oklahoma, so she stays at our house when she comes. An aunt and uncle and 2 cousins also live down there, so they will come to live at our house as well. But not this year, because they are going somewhere else.

Leg-shaped Lamps
We don’t have any leg-shaped lamps, thank you!

And, finally:

Christmas Day
At last, the blessed day has arrived! As soon as MD and I wake up, we bound out of bed and run downstairs to grab the stockings off of the fireplace. Then we run back up the stairs to the Reverend Mother and The Old Man’s room and open them. We bask in the glory of the Sacred Stocking Stuffers, then run down stairs to the tree. MD and I will fish presents out and give them to their respective owners, then we organize a little. We’ll take turns opening one present at a time, savoring the moments.

After the wonderfulness of opening presents, we rush to shower and clean the house, because the family is coming over! (They always come over to our house because it’s the biggest.) Around 1:00 people start arriving! We eat lunch, then more presents! After all that, my cousin and I will run downstairs so he can play on the computer (he doesn’t have any cool games of his own, so he uses ours).

I don’t have a weird aunt who thinks I’m 4-years-old and a boy, so no weird pajamas are in the present boxes. Thank the Lord for that!

Ciao for now!

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Yesterday was national Talk Like A Pirate day. And I missed it! I can’t believe this…

O.k., that’s it. Just had to put my two cents in.

AARRR, Ciao for Now!

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As in everything, life goes on (unless you’re dead).

We did sparring in Tae Kwon Do today. For some odd reason, everyone there is afraid when they get paired with me, so they do stupid things. Like they attack so much that they hurt themselves. Sometimes they’ll land a hit, but usually it’s like they say in Napoleon Dynamite: ‘You block it. Every Time.’ Who knew that that movie would ever come in handy, other than being thrown at an unwanted intruder when I’m cornered and just happen to have that movie in my hand. Which doesn’t happen very often.

We were doing forms (the thing that you need in order to pass a promotion test), but I didn’t get to practice mine because I was teaching a couple gold belts their forms.

Ciao for now,

Tiger Lilly

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I’ve got a new game to play!

It’s about pirates. My mom (that would be the Reverend Mother to you) calls it The Boat Game. But that’s not it’s name. I’m not exactly sure what it’s really called, but everyone at church calls it Pirates. It’s something called “a constructible strategy game”, which I guess means that you buy packs of game cards and begin your adventure. The packs aren’t very expensive and it’s a really fun game. It requires a lot of strategy, which some people don’t have (wink wink nudge nudge).

Pirates is really fun because you get to act like a pirate. You get to sail around to islands and get treasure from them. In fact, coming up there will be a new series of Pirates that has something called Unknown Island (I think) where there will be things on the island that you have to fight! Oooooooohhhhhh, spooky! You can also sail around and blow people up! NNEEEEEEEEEERRRR–BOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whee, hahaha! In other words, that means I have the time of my life while fighting a newbie! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! (Can you tell I’m addicted to sound effects and laughing evilly?)

What you do is:

1. Learn how to talk pirate.

2. Go out and buy a pack of Pirate cards (available at Target for $4.25, or you can give me $3.75 and I’ll get you a pack from the bookstore at church, ‘cuz they’re cheaper there, and I’m nice…sometimes, mwahahaha.)

3. Look at the cards that you got in your pack (it varies on what ships you get, depending on what type you get from the store. There’s Davy Jones’ Curse (the best one by me,) Pirates Crimson Coast (that one’s o.k., sometimes if you’re lucky you get a fort in a pack), South China Seas (that one’s pretty good, you get a Chinese Junk ship in them sometimes, and junk ships are not junk!), and American Revolution.) There’s a game in every pack!

4. You get 40 points to start out with. You use those points to buy ships. (You can only use those points when you start the game, you can’t use them when you’re playing!)

5. On the main card for a ship there is a row of symbols. The first one is how many masts your ship has. The second one is its cargo space (how much gold and crew your ship can carry.) The third one is its movement (For example, if your ship’s movement is “S+L,” then your ship can move one short (the the length of the short side of the card) and one long (the long side of the card). And the 4th symbol is how many cannons it has (if your ship has a white cannon and a red one, that means that you have one short range cannon and one long range cannon. Short range is white and long range is red. There is a number on the cannon. If it is a two, that means you have to roll a three in order to shoot someone. Also, you need to be in range to shoot someone, which means if you have a short range cannon, they need to be within a short side length of the card of you).

6. Read the rules to find out the rest, or go here for how-to-play animations. Also, no game boards are required. All you need is a coffee table or any good-sized flat surface and even with only one pack of game cards you’ve got a game!

Whoa! A mysterious fleet sails out of the darkness!

Here’s one of my five-masted ships, the U.S.S. Thomas Jefferson. Five-masters are good because they’re hardest to sink,
but this one only has short-range cannons. Bummer.

So, interested yet?

Arr, matey.

Ciao for now,
Tiger Lilly

P.S. American ships are not very good, so don’t get the American Revolution packs.

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I went rock climbing on Sunday.



To do it I had to beg and plead mom to take me (even though she wanted to go as well as me). Then I had to sit through a looong car ride (luckily I had a book.) When we finally got there, we found out that you have to make an appointment before you come. Oh the humanity!



Fortunately the lady at the front desk took pity on us and found someone who would belay me. (For some odd reason, Mom didn’t want to climb the 42-foot-high rock wall.) With many squeaks of fear when I looked down, and a lot of asking about where I should put my foot next, and many outrageous responses (“Oh, you only have to put your left foot about 4 feet up and 2 feet over!”) I reached the top. I conquered the 42-foot-high wall!



The guy who was belaying me said to “knock on wood for luck” when I reached the top. That wasn’t in the job description! The wood was 2 feet above me! Somehow I managed it and rappelled to the bottom. Mom was so proud. (In state fairs, whenever I tried rock climbing, I only got about a third of the way up.) And the best part (besides reaching the top) was that we didn’t even have to pay!

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