What is This?

Thanks for the meme, Kevin. Don’t you have anyone better to tag?

Sitcoms? I don’t watch TV. No, not because my dad hogs it, I just fell out of the habit when I was in Beauty School. I didn’t have time, and when I did, there were better things to do than flip through 1000 channels and say “there’s nothing on!”

My life is sooooo much cooler than any sitcom character’s, anyway. I can’t think of any that I would want to be, so I’ll let the people who still check out blogs (even though its Summer) pick some out for me.

I reject your meme, and substitute my own!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Yep, it’s that time of year again. The time of year where we start thinking about and planning for one of the most important events that mark a revolutionary change in the history of America; nay,nay, the world!

“Independence Day,” you say?

No! My birthday! What do you think? Gosh!

Yes, that famous date, 8/18/88.

Do you know what that means?

GOLDEN BIRTHDAY!

And since I want this day formally acknowledged, I decided to buy myself an early birthday present. Ahhh, the benefits of working in formal dress store. Here it is!

WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR SOME BREAKING NEWS:
THE MALL DIVA HAD WEETABIX FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING. YES, THANKS TO TOM, WHO SUPPLIED IMPORTANT INFORMATION ON THE WHEREABOUTS OF THIS CEREAL, WHICH CAN INDEED BE FOUND AT TARGET.

Now back to your original programming.

What? I’m not going to show you, it would ruin the surprise! Stay tuned for the big reveal that will take place in 58 days, or 8 weeks and 2 days if you prefer.

(And no, that bag does not contain a body – dead or otherwise.)

Where’s My Weetabix?

While we were staying in Quilty, Ireland, I discovered my new favorite breakfast item: Weetabix. It’s a gray brick and looks kind of like the pellets we feed to our guinea pig………never mind.

Anyway, you just put it in your bowl and pour some milk on it like normal cereal. It soaks up the milk just like a sponge! Don’t pour too much milk, though, or it gets all soggy and nasty. Then sprinkle several tablespoons of sugar on top and you’re good to go!

Or if you want to be unconventional, I guess you could dip it in your morning cup o’ joe or Mountain Dew, but that would be weird.

But now I have a dilemma because I don’t know where to get my Weetabix fix, so I’m sending out a plea for help:

Does anyone know where in the Twin Cities I can get the weety goodness before I go through withdrawal?

First Impressions

So, we arrived on Sunday around 8:45 a.m. our time, 2:45 a.m. CST. After landing, we didn’t rest, but went and saw some sights, like Trafalgar(tra-FAL-grr) Square. I was really too tired to enjoy anything very much except our dinner, which I am proud to say I didn’t fall asleep in.

One thing that I have noticed is that everyone here has great jeans. They’re the kind that actually fit; even for the guys, they don’t sag halfway to their knees.

Have you ever felt like you’re being watched? Well, for me, it’s not just a feeling. People have been openly staring at us for some reason, and it bugs me. It’s not like we look any different.

Anyway, I’m sure you all want to know why we were asked to leave the
Tower of London. It was because it was closing time. We were taking a tour of the tower, and at the end, walked through the Bloody Tower onto Raleigh’s Way (which were also the battlements) and I stood on it and looked over and started reciting the lines of the French soldier in Monty Python’s Holy Grail. “Don’t come back or I will taunt you a second time! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!” Just about the time I got to ” you silly Eenglish Knnnn-iggits!” the Yeoman Warder at the end of the battlement said “Alright, everyone time to leave!” I think he was offended.

And now for something completely different! Happy belated birthday to Uncle Benny! Here’s your present — a birthday finger-wagging in front of Big Ben!

Here’s something of interest for Kevvy-Wevvy, the oldest breech-loading guns in the Tower (can you see me in the picture?):

Musically Random

Hi, guys! This is my obligatory blog.

New music review!

The band is Angels and Airwaves. The song is “The Adventure”.

This is a new band from Tom DeLonge, who was 1/3 of the pop/punk trio Blink182. I listened to the song one time and went and downloaded it.I heard it on Drive105, which I listen to because I love alternative music. It’s pret-ty sweet, yo.

One thing I really like about Drive105 is that they play all this rockin’ music before stations like KDWB get ahold of them and play them into the dirt. Which is incredibly obnoxious.

So, yeah! You should go and check this band out. They are h-o-t-t hot!

See you at Keegan’s!

Supersize this! (Your will-power, that is)

As Americans, we like food. We like to have it as fast as possible, and the bigger, the better. Thus, fast-food. At least, that’s what it’s called, though I’m not sure that it really qualifies in the “food” department.

Anyway, apparently 1 in 4 Americans visits a fast-food restaurant every day. French fries are the most eaten veggie in the U.S. They are linking these stats (and more!) to this one: 60% of all American’s are overweight or obese. Just some fun facts for ya’.

Morgan Spurlock, the producer/director of the documentary “Supersize Me”, asks: “Is it our(American’s) fault for lacking self-control, or are fast-food corporations to blame?”

Hmmm…Let me think about that one.

How exactly are the fast-food corporations to blame for Amercans not being able to control themselves? It’s not like secret agents from McDonald’s are walking around holding guns to 1 in 4 American heads and forcing them to eat fast-food! What would they say to threaten them, “Eat this and/or die”? Right.

I’ve heard of a couple girls that sued Micky D’s because eating their food made them get fat and sick. My question is, how much did they eat to get that way? Was someone force-feeding them, or were they just being piggies all by themselves? Wasn’t there an alternative nearby like, say, Subway?

The World Health Organization has declared obesity a global epidemic, but it seems that people are more worried about who to blame than about how to make a change for the better in their own lives.

Sure, you can point your finger at fast-food places all you want, but ultimately, you are resposible for what you put in your mouth.

And when it comes right down to it, if people started taking charge of their diets and not eating at fast-food joints, don’t you think those joints would notice and start making changes of their own? Numbers don’t lie — whether on they’re on bottom line or your bathroom scale!

Random Language of the Week

Hee-hee, Dad’s out of town, so here’s something educational my friend Kerry sent me for you seekers of knowledge out there:

Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes — (READ OUT LOUD FOR FULL EFFECT)

1) That’s not right………………………..Sum Ting Wong

2) Are you harboring a fugitive……………..Hu Yu Hai Ding

3) See me ASAP…………………………….Kum Hia

4) Stupid man……………………………..Dum Gai

5) Small horse…………………………….Tai Ni Po Ni

6) Did you go to the beach………………….Wai Yu So Tan

7) I bumped the coffee table………………..Ai Bang Mai Ni

8) I think you need a face lift……………..Chin Tu Fat

9) It’s very dark in here…………………..Wao So Dim

10) I thought you were on a diet……………..Wai Yu Mun Ching

11) This is a tow away zone………………….No Pah King

12) Our meeting was rescheduled………………Wai Yu Kum Nao

13) Staying out of sight…………………….Lei Ying Lo

14) He’s cleaning his automobile……………..Wa Shing Ka

15) Your body odor is offensive………………Yu Stin Ki Pu

Road Trip!

I’m baaaack….

Did you miss me? Or did you even realize that I was gone?
Never mind, don’t answer that.

Anyway, last Saturday two of my cousins and I took a road trip to Galena, IL. We took our time driving and stopped in Dubuque, Iowa for the first night where we had fun trying to find somewhere to eat. Lindsay was driving and we somehow managed to end up in a little maze of backroads that were mostly one-ways. Oh, it was also really dark. We finally ended up at a Ground Round. Yay, us!

When we got to Galena the next day the first thing we saw was a Walmart. That just seemed wrong to me somehow.

Anyway, we drove down a cute little windy road, checked in to a cute little B&B, and went to check out Main Street. Which was cute.

There were so many shops, even I was almost overwhelmed, but not quite.
Main St. had three chocolate shops, and one candy shop which also carried chocolate. We visited all of these at least 3 times. I bought some truffles for myself and my parents, and I got Tiger Lilly some Oreo Bark. She was happy. Souvenir shopping was pretty hard when it came to guys, though. Galena is very girly.

We ate lunch one day at Vinny’s Italian Bistro, and it was really cute. The food was good, too, and there was quite a lot of it. We didn’t eat dinner that night.

We took some time just to drive around the cute little neighborhood, and we saw one house that had the top of a church steeple sticking up out of their back yard. It looked kinda weird and I took some pictures of it, so if they turn out I’ll post them.

So, in conclusion, Galena is a very cute town, and I ate too much chocolate and spent too much money. Yay, me!

My sob story for the Big Meanies

The Barnacle Boys have been bugging me.

So, let’s set the record straight, shall we? I’ll even start at the beginning. Here we go:

The crud has been going around at my work for practically a month now, and a lot of the ladies I work with have been coming down with it. I swear I had already gotten it back in February, and I wouldn’t get it again, but noooo, of course I got it. And it was worse this time.

On Monday I was feeling fine, my throat was just feeling kind of tickly, but as the day went on I began to feel worse. I had to work from six to close. I ended up going home at a quarter to eight.

Tuesday I woke up bright and early at six and spent, like, an hour in the bathroom being violently ill. After that I was so weak I could barely drag myself the three feet back to my bedroom. I spent the rest of the day sleeping and being extremely sore all over. I didn’t stand up for fear of falling over.

(By the way, Tiger Lilly is very good at taking care of people when they’re sick so you can keep in mind that if she beats you up. If you hurry and get on her good side, she might nurse you back to health.)

Wednesday was a little better. I actually went down the stairs with out falling, and I ate a pieace of toast. That wore me out. Going back up the stairs was scary. I stayed in bed.

Thursday, I actually went to work. I worked with my boss, and we were both sick. She thought it was kind of funny. I could hardly lift dresses to put them away. It was hard to breathe. I went home. We went to Keegan’s and kicked butt, the highlight of my day. Ben! Stop making faces at me!

Today I feel better, though this cold is trying to take me down and I’m still sore. But I’m going shopping! Yay!

Random What Now?….

I’m sorry I didn’t post randomness last week, I know you were all sorely disappointed. I hope you weren’t too disappointed, though, or I might have to tell you to get a life.

Okay, here’s a quote for ya:

“There are three times when I laugh at a joke,
once when I hear it, again when I tell it,
and then when I get it.” -Tom Johnson

And in the light of that wisdom, I have a joke for you. Ahem:

What did the hotdog say when he crossed the finish line?*

(Wait for it…)

*For best results, tell this joke at around 2 or 3 a.m.*

Dad, do I get to go to Keegan’s now?