Why we love the MOB and its great mayor

… AND LET IT BE FURTHER RESOLVED that all fathers who blog within the MOB will have their children type a blog message on Sunday, June 15 titled “Why We Love the MOB and its Great Mayor” (with spellchecking turned OFF);

This is the Mall Diva and Tiger Lilly.

We love the MOB!! Seriously, it rocks.

We love our Mayor!! Long live King Banaian and his decrees (scroll down the first link above).

We love our daddy!!! He’s the best daddy ever and the super-coolest blogger ever.

We also did our duty by grilling and eating a member of that sly and evil species: the ninja cow. Mmm-mmmmm!

So it was written, so it was done. Selah.

Out with a boy! (and his dad, and a hundred other kids…)

by Tiger Lilly

A little while ago I got to go out on what will probably be the closest thing to a date that I will ever get. (Or so says my best friend.) I know, you want details…

Two years ago I met a boy named Brent at one of our church league softball games. I saw him a few more times during the summer, and at the end of the softball season, we traded phone numbers and addresses. We proceeded to keep in touch by writing letters (he doesn’t have internet at his house, otherwise we’d probably be exchanging emails). I would see him every now and then when he came to drop off letters at my house (he also doesn’t have stamps). He came over a couple of times and watched movies at our house (after clearing the movies with his Dad) and once I went over to his house to sword fight, a common interest we have. He has these swords, called L.A.R.P. (Live-Action Role Playing) Swords, and we used those. They are padded poles covered in duct tape, so it doesn’t hurt (much) if you get hit by them.

Then my sister organized some dancing lessons a few weeks ago and I invited him to come along, and he surprisingly enjoyed it. Then he invited me to go to this youth thing at his church called “Net”. It was a concert/mass for teens, and it goes from October to the first weekend in May.

So I asked my parents, and they (surprisingly enough) agreed. Well, my dad just made this growling noise that sounded affirmative. 4:30 Saturday afternoon rolls around. Brent, his dad, and his sister come pick me up, and my Dad (of course) gives Mr. Howard the run-down of his wishes for proper supervision. Mr. Howard assures Dad that there will be plenty of people around. We leave, and go pick up one of their friends, whose name is Tom.

We get to Net at around 5, an hour before it starts (they like to get there early to get good seats). At 5:30 one of Brent’s friends shows up (his name is John Paul. Hmmm, sounds like Ron Paul!). We listen to the band tuning up (the band is called Sonar). Then Net finally starts. There’re lots of songs, some by David Crowder, who I like to listen to. Then the preacher comes out (he’s really funny), and announces that there will be Communion. Now I’m thinking, ‘Carp’, because Catholics have closed Communion. So I asked Brent if I could just stay in my seat instead of going up with my arms crossed against my chest, signifying that I’m not Catholic. He told me to come up anyway. So I’m standing there, my arms crossed, thinking, “Yargh, no one else is doing this!!!” I barely stop long enough for one of the preachers to do his thing before following Brent back to the seats. As soon as we sit back down, he says, “See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” I just half-smiled, not really agreeing or disagreeing.

After Communion, there were more songs, and then there was a 20 minute break. There were large tubs of snack and drinks, and Brent said that we basically had 20 minutes to grab all the food we wanted. There were Oreos, Rice Krispies, M&Ms, little bags of cookies, all sorts of junk food. The drinks were Capri Sun coolers.

Next was the message, called “The Amazing Race”. It was on the race of life, and — what do you know — the preacher was an athlete who had gone through tons of marathons and Iron Mans (Iron Men?). One of the marathons was even in Alaska. He knew what it was like to have to train for months ahead of time for a race. He said that he had cut out every type of junk food and refined sugars from his diet (I looked guiltily down at the packet of Oreos I had liberated from the food basket). He translated that into things like too much television. The preacher was very funny, and had a lot of one-liners. Brent said that the preacher had been on some t.v. show, but he couldn’t remember which one.

After the message, there was this thing called “Adoration”. During Adoration, they brought out some golden sunburst thing, and everybody was kneeling. Now, I don’t want to offend any Catholics out there who are reading this blog, and this is entirely my point of view (and maybe a little bit of my mother’s POV), but, yo, the idols and graven images thing kind of creeps me out. So here I’m thinking, ‘What am I doing?’ while Sonar is playing a few songs. Thankfully, it didn’t last too long, and after Adoration there were a couple of pretty lively songs. Net ended when the songs were over. As we made our way out the door, Brent and I lost his dad somewhere along the line (I think he got pulled into a talking trap). Brent and I waited by the truck, kind of high on energy. So we decided to…………………………………………………………………………run around the parking lot! (Scared you, didn’t I?) It burned off a lot of that energy, but there’s a certain kind of energy that just doesn’t go away when you’re outside on a crisp spring night. Then Brent’s dad made his way back to the car with Tom. From there we went to Perkins. At 10:45! I didn’t get home until close to 12! :^P

Ciao for now!

The Jane Austen movie club?

We watched a movie recently called The Jane Austen Book Club. It is very cute, and I would recommend it to ladies who love chick-flicks. The movie is about five ladies and one man (they all live in Cali) who decide to do a Jane Austen book club (surprise, surprise). They did one book a month for six months.

The characters:

Bernadette: An older lady who has been married six times and wants to get married one more time.

Sylvia: Just got a divorce from her cheating husband.

Allegra (Sylvia’s daughter): Lesbian. ‘Nuff said.

Grigg (not Greg): Very naive. He was invited into the club by Jocelyn.

Prudie: A French language teacher who has never been to France. A little stuck-up.

and Jocelyn: The lady who claims to ‘never want to fall in love’, so she raises dogs to fill that gap. She invited Grigg in hopes of hooking him up with Sylvia, but he has no intention of that and focuses his sights on Jocelyn.

The book club was started in February and ended in July. The first book they read was Emma, and they ended with Persuasion.

Grigg, who wonders why he’s in the club, buys all Jane Austen’s novel in one big book and thinks that they are all sequels to each other.
Allegra goes through a couple girlfriends throughout the movie. Prudie always happens to be just in time to see one of her students (that she falls in love with, despite the fact that she has a hubby) involved in questionable behavior with his girlfriend.

Jocelyn is generally blind to the fact that Grigg doesn’t want to hook up with Sylvia. Sylvia is very torn up for the first 30 minutes or so over the fact that her hubby was cheating on her. Bernadette almost always wears a crazy quilted jacket, which seems to match her personality perfectly.

I would probably give it three and a half stars out of four. I would definitely recommend it for a “girls night” some time. Very cute.

Ciao for now!

While the parental units are out…

So last night, MD and I headed out for a movie (Spiderwick. It sucked. Read the books, and you’ll feel so much better), home to change into pajamas, them off again to Princess Flickerfeather’s house.

A bunch of MD’s friends were there. We’re sitting around playing Loaded Questions (awesome game), which took a long time. At about 10:45, everyone decides that they’re hungry. So we debate about ordering pizza, where to get it from, what to get, all that jazz. This is the ensuing conversation:

MD: Let’s get pizza!
Murmurs of assent
TL: What kind?
MD: Sausage with black olives. Mmmmmm.
Anna: No, I hate sausage. I’m ok with mushroom.
TL: Eww, yuck.
Donny: What are you on? You don’t eat beans, mushrooms… (Donny had previously made refried bean dip).
TL: I’m on the beanbag.
MD: How about a split pizza?
Ruth: We could get half sausage w/ black olives and half mushroom.
TL: Anna, do you like pepperoni?
Anna: Nope.
TL: Darn.
Ruth: How ’bout just cheese?
*Great enthusiasm.*
PFF: There’s a phone book in the kichen. Order from Domino’s.
*Anna is on the phone oredering pizza.*
PFF: Make sure to tell him the address is Summit Ave, South Saint Paul, otherwise he’ll go to St. Paul.
Anna: He’s like, ‘So St Paul, So St Paul. Hold on,’
MD: Haha! ‘There’s a South Saint Paul?’
Anna: Alright, he’ll be here in 40 minutes.
*Groaning.*
TL: 40 minutes?!
MD: I thought they had a 30 minute policy.
Donny: Or, you could just cancel that, and we could put in a frozen pizza.
O_o
Anna: Donny!!! Why didn’t you tell us?!
Donny: Well, it’s pepperoni!
Sam: They could’ve lived with it!
Anna: Yeah, I wouldn’t have minded!

So we decided to just live with the cheese pizza.

What seemed like a long while later:

TL: How long has it been?
Anna: About 15 minutes.
TL: WHAT?!

The pizza finally arrived at 11:35 and was greeted at the door by Sam and his beer stein hat. That hat was at least a foot and a half tall. I can only imagine what that pizza guy was thinking.

The pizza was almost instantly devoured.

We didn’t end up getting home until 12:something.

Meme!!! Mwhahahahaha!!

My sister, the Mall Diva, tagged me with the ‘7 Things That May Or May Not Be True About Me’ meme. So, let’s get started:

1. I’m currently a purple belt in Tae Kwon Do.
2. I’m trying to clean my room.
3. But I don’t have a convenient place to put my weapons arsenal.
4. I have two loud birds that very rarely shut up.
5. I love sky diving.
6. I’m an undiscovered writer.
7. I like being alone so I can sing as loud as I want without anyone hearing or caring.

Now it’s up to you to deduce which of these are true, and which ones I just put down off the top of my head. Have fun!

Ciao for now!

It’s the cows

Be on the lookout for signs of a rebellion.

No, it’s not the terrorists (not the ones you’d expect, anyway) …

No, it’s not teenagers…

It’s the COWS!!!!

Yes, you read that right. I’ve made two long car trips in the last few weeks, through the heart of America’s farmlands, and I tell you there’s something suspicious about all the cows. They are plotting to take over the world. Sure, they LOOK all innocent when you’re driving through the country. But before they hear your car coming, they’re talking in conspiratorial whispers, scheming up ways for world domination!

First, they lull us into a false sense of security. Then, they prey on our other sources of food (did you read about that cow who kept eating chickens?)

Third, they send out their NINJA COWS!!! These cows have training specially for stealth. And they’re always the black ones. Never put a black cow at your back. You think everything’s just fine, and then BAM! You’re on the ground.

Ever notice how cows are usually grouped together, with a few loners? Well, the groups are the conspirators, and the loners are the look-outs. As soon as they hear a car driving by, or someone walking up, they give their secret code and tell everyone to ‘look beefy.’ That’s why all you ever see cows do is eat grass.

Beware the groups of twos and threes. They plot while looking natural. While we were driving home from Missouri, we saw a cow line-up. Seriously. The cows were all in a line on a distant hill. Probably doing a drill or something.

Ways to keep your house cow proof:

  • Set up a large fence with sentry posts. With any luck, if the cows come a-callin’, you’ll get a meal out of the invasion. Mmm… steak.
  • Set up rows of chickens armed with eggs. I’m sure they’ll want to get back at the cows for eating them.
  • Don’t allow groupings of more than two cows in your yard at a time. That should slow them down.
  • Pay spy cows to go into the field and listen in on the cow plans. You might also want to get a moo interpreter.

My dad thinks the government sent deer in to spy on the cows (you can’t trust the cows to do it), but the cows caught on. That’s why we saw so many dead deer on the road last week. Almost all of them were near a field of cows. Black cows. Makes you think.

But here I’ve warned you. You may think I’m crazy, to which I say:

Well, DUH!

But don’t come cryin’ to me when your home is invaded by these four legged tasty conspirators. That’s your problem.

The sheep and hawks are in on it, too.

Ciao (no, literally, chow) for now!

ARRRR!!!

Arr, mateys!!! It’s National Talk Like A Pirate Day! Be sure to swab the decks or shiver me timbers or whatever pirates do.

Buy a ship!
Name it something catchy like: The Black Pearl; the Umbiquitous Unicorn; The Funky Chicken, etc.,etc…
Go raid the 7 seas (actually, I counted, and there are about 31 seas.)
Sing ‘A Pirate’s Life For Me!’ Make it your ship’s anthem.

Or to save a lot of money, just buy the Boat Game. (I hope I did that link right O_o)

Ciao for no – I mean ARRR!!! Bye, now, mateys!

The Harry Potter review from “she-who-must-not-be-annoyed”

AUGH!!! I don’t know what to think about Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows! I hated it as I loved it.

Things I loved:
The storyline

J.K. Rowling’s way of writing (she really knows how to connect items throughout the books)

The ending

Things I hated:
She killed so many good people!!!!!

She killed so many good people!!!!!

Characters:
Harry: Starting in the fifth book, Harry had really turned into an arrogant snot, but in this book he’s so awesome!

Hermione: She’s definitley my favorite character. She’s really sensible, keeps her head in desperate situations, and knows what to pack when going on a trip!

Ron: Probably one of my least favorite characters. He’s extremely tempermental (with emphasis on the mental), and at one point in the book I just wanted to slap him.

Ginny: She’s so sweet.

Snape: You know, I gained a lot of respect for him in this book.

Well, anyway, I don’t really know what else to tell you, because I don’t want to spoil anything for the two people haven’t finished the book or heard how it turns out already. Let’s see: Harry turns 17, Voldemort’s name is Tabooed, and George — never mind. It is the grimmest and darkest book that Rowling has written so far, and it’s very intriguing. I think that’s all I can say without giving anything away, so …

Ciao for now!!