Rat Speaks Truth to Power

by Sly the family rat

They put newspaper in my cage. That’s fine. I like that. Definitely not opposed to a little chewing material. Plus, origami passes the time when they’re busy ignoring me.

But the Star Tribune? Seriously? Does my cage look like a dump? Do I look like vermin? Don’t answer that.

The point is, there is all kinds of dumb that oozes of the page and gets in my pores. Take the Letter of the Day for example. It is titled, “We finally have a president who listens to critics and allies” Might I suggest an alternative? “Touching naiveté strikes Minnesota man” Or how about, “Bootlick attacks Star Tribune OpEd page”? Good grief.

So anyway, if you must put that bilge in my cage, at least give me the crossword.