Take a moment, Tiger Lilly, then back to the keyboard!

From today’s Writer’s Almanac:

It’s the birthday of a young man who became a best-selling author as a teenager, Christopher Paolini, born in California (1983) and raised near Paradise Valley, Montana. He was homeschooled, and when he finished high school at age 15, he had a lot of time on his hands, so he decided to write a fantasy novel. He began Eragon, finished it a year later, at age 16. He spent a second year revising that draft, and then gave it to his parents. They loved it, and in 2002 Eragon was self-published through the family company. The Paolini family embarked on an exhausting tour to promote Christopher’s book. They went to 135 promotional events that first year, dressed in red and black medieval costumes. Paolini got offers from both Random House and Scholastic, and in August of 2003 — when Paolini was still 19 — the book was published by a division of Random House/Knopf.

The book went straight to the number three spot of the New York Times Bestseller List. Paolini has written two best-selling sequels to Eragon, and he is at work on a fourth book.

55 random things

I was tagged by Gabrielle at I’m Free Now. The “55 Things Meme”:

55 Things
1. The phone rings; whom do you want it to be?
Ummmmmm, Publisher’s Clearinghouse.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Always.

3. If you had to kiss the last person you kissed, would you?
I think so.

4. Do you take compliments well?
Yes, thank you very much.

5. Do you play Sudoku?
Yes, but I’m not obsessed like some people I happen to live with.

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
It seems unlikely.

7. Do you like nipple rings?
Never seen one up close and personal, if you know what I mean.

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
Nope

9. If a sexy person were pursuing you, but you knew he/she were married what would you do?
Cough, cough. That happens all the time. I just ignore it.
NW: Hey! *puff, puff* Come back here!

10. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
I’m married so I quit dating a few years ago.

Only 40 shopping days left

Peter at Half a World Away discovered an amazing product in an airline shopping magazine during one of his recent trips from half of the world to the other: the Potty Putter. And if the name isn’t enough to pique your interest or close the sale, here’s the text from the ad:

You know those days when you’ve eaten something that hasn’t agreed with you and you can’t be too far away from the bathroom? Well, this is the perfect companion for such occasions: The Toilet Golf. The package includes: a putter with articifial turf, a miniature club, golf balls and flag. It also comes with a very useful sign to hang on the bathroom door “Do Not Disturb: Golf Game in Progress”.

The Potty Putter is a true innovation in toilet entertainment and the perfect gift for the golf (or toilet) enthusiast in your life!

No, I don’t want one (though I could use a new bug bat since the last one died). Peter thinks it is obviously the gift for the person who has everything.

I think it’s the perfect gift for those idiots at professional golf tournaments who love to shout “IT’S IN THE HOLE!”

(Yes, that was potty-humor from me. At least I won’t show a picture of the product. You have to go here for that).

Proud Poppi

Sometimes the girls call me “Poppi”. I think it started when we were in Italy a couple of years ago and the phrase, “Gelato, Poppi!” was so cosmopolitan — and effective. As they have gotten older, calling me Poppi is an affectionate endearment in so many ways that “Great Hairy Thunderer” isn’t. And today Poppi is just about popping his buttons.

I wrote last week about the Mall Diva’s debut with her friend Casii at The Black Sheep’s Open Mic Night. Last night they hit another open stage, this time at the Dunn Brothers coffee shop over on Grand in St. Paul. Whereas the first outing was for teens, the Dunn Bros. stage is a long-standing, bi-weekly event for a pretty much adult audience. There are a lot of Old Folkie types there, including one guy who looked like the ghost of Tom Joad but with even less meat on his bones, and another guy who relished the opportunity to stand on a stage with a guitar and a microphone and drop high-decibel f-bombs — not because he was outraged, but simply because he enjoyed it, I think. The girls more than held their own, singing the same three songs they sang previously, and engaging the audience which featured a lot of bright, smiling faces and bobbing heads. One guy was even moved to sing along with them as they sang, “It is well, it is well, with my soul.”

I remember the first time my wife and I heard the young Diva sing in public. It was for a Christmas program when she was in second grade. Neither her mother or I have a lick of singing ability and we weren’t expecting any in our progeny so when Faith told us she had a “solo” we figured she meant a speaking part. Lo and behold — or should I say, “Hark!” — she sang! My wife and I were flabbergasted. Never had we dared expect such a blessing! She later showed herself to be a quick study musically as well, once picking out a tune by ear on the piano even before she had had lessons. Later, when she had been taking lessons for a year, she played a recital with such skill and élan that others thought she’d been studying for year. To see her and Casii taking such confident and polished steps on a public stage is nearly enough to make me burst.

But that’s not all. As Tiger Lilly posted on Saturday, she just won a short-story writing contest sponsored by the Dakota County libraries. The contest was to write a ghost-story or thriller (the deadline was Halloween) and she took time off from the novel (or novels) she’s already writing to knock out something that came to mind. As with her sister, I was stunned with the result.

Stunned, but not surprised, if that’s possible. I’ve given her writing assignments in the past, and we’ve seen her skills posting here on this blog but those were all things I asked her to write or some inspired silliness for public consumption. True, there were the series of “Larry the Guinea Pig” books she wrote when she was little, and she’s let me peak before at some of her work in progress that was pretty impressive, but she didn’t let her mother or I see this short story before she turned it in. Naturally, I expected her to win a prize because I figured she could out-write people her age, but when I read her entry after she posted it here I was awed at how skilled and mature her writing was.

If you haven’t followed the link from her Saturday post you really need to do so. This is not a cute story that a teen-ager would write with the literary equivalent of “like” and “you know” phrasing or heavy-handed prose and awkward symbolism. The story grabs you from the first, one-sentence paragraph and she shows a lot of writerly techniques in phrasing and repetition that you would expect to see — if at all — in an older, more experienced writer. It is also, definitely, a “chiller” which I wouldn’t expect from my sweet little angel, but I can definitely pick up on some of the bent from the “Dead Like Me” TV series we’ve been laughing at lately.

Seeing such a polished, fully-formed story was amazing even with my high expectations for her. It’s both exciting and motivating to see this from her. I know she’s been pounding away, doing at least 1700 words a day, as part of the National Novel Writing Month event and I figure if she’s going to be doing this level of work I’m going to have to raise my own game or cede the writing title in the family to her. Either that or perhaps change the name of this blog to “The Night and Day Writers”!

What he said

Stop for just a moment, or 3 …

3
by John Berryman

Sole watchman of the flying stars, guard me
against my flicker of impulse lust: teach me
to see them as sisters & daughters. Sustain
my grand endeavours: husbandship & crafting.

Forsake me not when my wild hours come;
grant me sleep nightly, grace soften my dreams;
achieve in me patience till the thing be done,
a careful view of my achievement come.

Make me from time to time the gift of the shoulder.
When all hurt nerves whine shut away the whiskey.
Empty my heart toward Thee.
Let me pace without fear the common path of death.

Cross am I sometimes with my little daughter:
fill her eyes with tears. Forgive me, Lord.
Unite my various soul,
sole watchman of the wide & single stars.

From “Eleven Addresses to the Lord”, “3” by John Berryman, Collected Poems 1937-1971. © The Noonday Press, 1989.

Oh no you didn’t

Some time ago I did a list of three-word sentences you should and shouldn’t use with your wife. Simple and easy to follow, that post has made it’s way around the blogosphere. Even simpler, and with the added appeal of being set to a catchy tune, is this short but valuable “user’s guide”:

HT: Persistent Illusion. I may need to add this to the “Are You Marriageable” series.

It goes on

Wednesday’s Writer’s Almanac featured a poem by Bruce Taylor entitled “Middle-Aged Men, Leaning.” It begins:

They lean on rakes.
It’s late, it is evening
already inside their houses.

The children are gone.
Their wives are on the phone
talking softly to someone else.

This frost, this early Fall
upon their minds, a small
measure of patience and regard

as if the twilight world
in bright papery pieces
diminished so and thus.

It caught my attention because my fingers and palms are still sore from all the yard work we did last weekend; yard work that had me leaning on rakes and shovels as well as standing on ladders, wrangling in brush piles and wrestling with awnings. It was a lot of hard, dirty work but we were blessed with an extended stretch of early September at the end of October, giving us the time we desperately needed to get the yard ready to host the Mall Diva’s upcoming nuptials in the spring.

While Tiger Lilly, my wife and I worked on the gardens the Mall Diva and Ben cleared out the four flower beds in front of the house and planted tulip bulbs, happy in the thought of the rewards for their labor regardless of whatever hardships and depradations should be visited upon these by the winter, the squirrels or the administration.

A long, cold season may be ahead but there’s so much promise on the other side of it. I’ve lived through many a winter now and quite a few temporal seasons of hope and change — some of which even almost worked. I take any and all forecasts with as many grains of salt as I’ll eventually pour on my sidewalk in the months ahead, but one thing I know for certain is that the head of my government has decreed that seedtime and harvest shall not cease as long as the earth remains.

Live at The Black Sheep

As posted here earlier, last Thursday night was Open Mic Night at The Black Sheep coffee cafe and we went to watch and listen as the Mall Diva and her lifelong friend and musical partner, Casii, made their public debut. It was an interesting evening sponsored by the city of South St. Paul as an activity for the youth. The performances were all pretty good, but what I noticed most was the differences in attitude between the performers.

The first singer was a young man who is likely too young to remember Corey Hart, yet he was wearing sunglasses at night all the same. He was a beefy guy with a delicate voice reminiscent of Dan Haseltine of Jars of Clay. He did a couple of original compositions and some covers but all of the song selections were of disaffected angst that spoke of a misery too deep for anyone who hasn’t, say, been audited. Even his take on Green Day’s “I Hope You Had the Time of Your Life” had irony dripping off of it … and right into my chai latte.

Another performer was a young woman who read her poetry from a spiral-bound notebook (I couldn’t tell if it had hearts on it, but I suspect not). She stood in a way that announced she had “issues” even before reading her work that featured lines about brains splattered on windows and hamsters committing suicide. The girl prefaced some of her reading by saying her poems use a lot of symbolism and she hoped we “got it.” Not a problem, as it was about as subtle as a manhole cover in a salami sandwich.

The young folks were good, and I know that it sounds as if I’m mocking them. Well, I am mocking them I guess, but it’s more in recognition of my own artistic self-absorption when I was their age (I’d rather listen to Vogon poetry without sedation than go back and read my old, old stuff). Perhaps it’s because, while we may suffer a lot of pain when we’re young, we don’t have a lot of years of experience to put that pain in perspective.

Or maybe it’s just what is fashionable now.

When the Diva and Casii took their turn, however, it was a completely different attitude — and I say that completely acknowledging my proud-parent bias. They did two high-spirited and funny original songs (including, if you can believe it, a highly symbolic one about a hamster) plus their own take on the old hymn, “It Is Well With My Soul.” They were warm and upbeat, engaging with the audience even though they did without the microphone. With their voices, and in a relatively small room, they didn’t need a mic. In fact, they were nearly able to drown out the “whacka-whacka-whacka” of the espresso machine behind the counter. As with the other performers, they wanted the audience to feel what they felt; the difference is that they were having fun.


Photo from RaymondPhotographic.com.

I can think of a number of reasons why that might be, but I think the main one is “the perspicacity of hope”.

Too funny…and too true

British comics Bird and Fortune explain the financial crisis in this clip entitled “How the Markets Really Work”. It’s a lot funnier than my last 401k statement … but just as painfully close to the truth.

An excerpt from this “interview”, discussing the sub-prime fiasco:

Surely the reality is that the people who have lent all this money have been incredibly stupid.

Oh no, no…the reality is that what is stupid is that at some point somebody asked how much these houses are actually worth. I mean, if they hadn’t asked that question everything would have gone on perfectly as normal.

Now some will say that this will lead to a financial melt-down. Can it be avoided?

It can be avoided provided the governments and central banks give us — the speculators and financial advisors — the money back that we’ve lost.

But…isn’t that rewarding greed and stupidity?

No, it’s rewarding what Prime Minister Gordon Brown calls “the ingenuity of the markets.”

I see….

We don’t want this money to spend on ourselves. We want this money to go into the market so we can carry on borrowing and lending money as if nothing had happened without thinking too much about it.

Well, if worst came to worst and you didn’t get this money, what then?

Well then, the market would crash and I would say to you what people like me always say, “It’s not us who will suffer, it’s your pension fund.”

One year on

I was wearing my dark charcoal-colored suit at church Sunday and at one point as I reached my left arm across my chest I could feel a stiff piece of paper in the inside pocket of the jacket. I didn’t need to reach into the pocket to see what the strange weight over my heart was; I already knew it was the notes I had written to myself for delivering the eulogy at my father’s funeral. The notes have been there every time I’ve worn the suit in the past year and I just haven’t gotten around to taking them out.

My father died on October 29 last year so we didn’t have to wait too long to start marking the significant passages: first Thanksgiving without him, first Christmas without him, first wedding anniversary, first golf season, first Father’s Day, first birthday — all without him. The holidays early on weren’t too weird. Sure, they were strange, but his passing was still so new and close to mind that we were still in the bubble of grief and relief that surrounds you in the aftermath of a wasting disease. The December wedding anniversary would have been their 51st and as the day passed it was amazing to think how blissfully unaware we were of what was in store while we celebrated the 50th.

The other times during the year I didn’t dwell so much on the thoughts as they came, other than to take a deep breath. This past week, however, has seemed to crawl by and many times I have stopped to think, “last year at this time, I was answering my cell phone in the middle of an office party” or “at this time on this day last year I was in an airplane” or “I was at the hospital”.

And on Wednesday it will be one year and I will think of the hectic day I spent 365 days ago trying to tie up enough loose ends at work, knowing that I was likely going to be gone for a few days. I will not be able to remember what it was that I was working on that was so important, but I will remember laying back in my recliner at home, wondering if I was ready (and not for the office) and I will think about the phone call that came that evening, and of Faith coming home and me not being able to say anything to her, and not having to say anything to her because she could just tell.

And I will think about pieces of paper in the breast pocket of a suitcoat, and how sometimes even a casual movement will remind me of a certain stiffness over my heart that is likely to remain awhile longer.

Related posts:

In My Father’s House, Part 1

In My Father’s House, Part 2
In My Father’s House, Part 3
In My Father’s House, Conclusion
Turning Toward the Mourning
The Knowing (April, 2005)