Storm the Castle!

by the Mall Diva

The heart of our beautiful country was pumping with thousands of people November 5, 2009. I got to be one of them!


Ever since my dad borrowed my car a few months ago and left the radio on 100.3 KTLK I’ve been hooked. Probably a good thing. I heard Michele Bachmann on Hannity last Monday afternoon; she was imploring listeners to drop everything and come out to D.C. to fight the Healthcare Reform Bill. “Who’s actually going to do that?” I thought. Then I forgot about it.

Tuesday morning my mom and I went to vote, and had time before work to grab coffee together at the Black Sheep (of course). I remembered what I had heard the day before. “Mom, do you want to hop a plane to D.C. tomorrow and protest Obamacare?” She looked at me, and promptly said “yes”! Whoop! I wasn’t actually serious! But if she was on board, why shouldn’t I be? We started talking about who might want to come with us, and the best way to travel. If we wanted to road trip it, we would have to leave that night. I texted to Ben the same question I had asked my mom, and then called my good friend Princess Flickerfeather.

“Do you want to come to Washington D.C. with me for a protest rally?”


“Tonight, if we drive.”

“….Are you serious??”

This time I was.

We worked to get our little crew together, and the result was yours truly (mad props to my boss for letting me go), PFF, TL, and our friend Mel. My mom couldn’t get away from work, and Ben couldn’t get away from church. ;D

We left at 10:30 that night, and drove and sang and laughed and slept, and ultimately had the funnerest time you could have with four women and all their stuff packed in a little white Mazda 626 for 20 hours straight. We couldn’t believe what we were doing! 8 o’ clock Wednesday night we arrived on Chestnut St. in Waynesboro, PA, where my cousins generously let us crash, and fed us pizza. Yay! About nine Thursday morning, we were on our way to the Metro station. We greatly admired the beautiful scenery Pennsylvania has to offer, and I decided that I’m going to move there. Of course Benny’s coming! We got off the train at Union Station (which is really sweet, btw) and took a nice stroll to the Capitol. The weather was amazing! But why would that be surprising when we were on a mission from God??

On the Metro, headin' for town!

On the Metro, headin' for town!

We arrived on the lawn in front of the White House and mingled with the most well-behaved mob I have ever encountered. We heard Bachmann, Jon Voight, Mark Levin, and about a gajillion other conservative office-holders, physicians, and celebrities. It was a rollicking good time!


When the speakers were done, they set us loose on the congressional offices, where ensued a game of hide and seek. Betty McCollum was elusive when we arrived at her office (surprise, surprise!), but we left notes for her with her secretary. I pretty much wrote a novel on the piece of paper I was given, but all were necessary points! Examples: 1. You are for the bill, I am not. 2. If you subject America to this bill, you’d better also subject yourself and your family to it, or be a hypocrite. 3. No matter what you think, this bill will NOT save money in any way, shape, or form. Your children and grandchildren along with mine will be paying for it all their lives. Do you really want that to be their inheritance from you? 4. Your job is that of public servant, and if you vote in favor of this bill, I will personally be working to make sure that you are not re-elected. And finally, I encouraged her to rethink her position on the bill.

The wristsweaters proclaim "V" for "Victory"!

We then found Bachmann, and she encouraged us to keep knocking on doors. We followed her orders and went looking for Jim Oberstar. Guess where he was? Not in his office! But his legislative director was in, and graciously talked with us for about an hour. I came away from that with the realization that no matter what, there was absolutely no way that I could reconcile this bill with my principles. Bummer.

After dinner we are greeted by a beautiful scene

After dinner we are greeted by a beautiful scene

After that, it was dinner time! We ate at Tortilla Coast, which was fantastic, and started for home. Our trip home was highlighted by occasions of slap-happiness, a freaky encounter with the Circle “Cafe” in W. Virginia, breakfast in Chicago, and some good things to discuss. I think it is unanimous that we had a fantastic time.

Yes, we did have a fabulous time, thanks!

Yes, we did have a fabulous time, thanks!

Mrs. Worley, et al. Goes to Washington

By Reverend Mother

Last night at approximately 10:30 Mall Diva, Tiger Lilly, Princess Flickerfeather and a good friend of the family, whom we will call Mrs. Lotti, left So. St. Paul headed for Washington. Monday evening Faith heard a radio interview in which Michele Bachmann urged citizens to gather a group and be at the National Mall Thursday noon for a rally to protest health care “reform” and then visit their congressmen to make their wishes known concerning the upcoming vote. Faith rose to the challenge by gathering her usual suspects, plus one, and driving off into the night. They will arrive in Waynesboro, PA tonight, crash at the house of a cousin and head for DC in the morning. Nightwriter has urged them to speak truth to indifference. They left their guns at home.

Just received a text message from the (National) Mall Diva: “We’re going into the Capitol!” (Thursday, 1 p.m. CST).

I wonder if she got the pitchfork through the metal detector?


I texted the Mall Diva to see how things went at the Capitol and whether I needed to send “lawyers, guns and money.” Her text reply:

Send lawyers, guns, money and men in white coats! These politicians are crazy! But I got my pic taken with Michele Bachmann!

Story here.

The brilliance is almost tangible…

by the Mall Diva

Here I am,  sitting at my computer, writing a post for the first time in a long time, and the first time on this site.  The feeling’s the same…that old feeling of “what the heck should I write about?” Hm.

I’ll start with the facts:

I’ve been working at my beauty shop for 3 years now, and have extended my hours there.

I got my hair cut yesterday.

I’ve been married for 2 months and 2 weeks. The honeymoon is not over!

We bought a new (to us) car last week. Yay! (Don’t even ask me if we got cash for a clunker. Please.)

That car gets Ben to the church he started interning at this week.

My nails are pink.

Get this, Kevi! My birthday is in 12 days. I’ll be 21. Bring me presents!!

I have books lined up waiting for me to finish reading them.

I’m secretly a rock star. Tiger Lilly is my bodyguard.

Now for the not-so-factual facts:

I asked my parents to bring a Vespa back from Spain for me. They brought me a unicorn instead. I named him Charlie.  Heh! Noooo.

Sly is growing wings.

Benny LOVED watching Dirty Dancing with me last night!

I planted magical beans in our garden this year.

That’s all I have for now. Are we hitting Keeg’s tonight?

And counting…

by the Mall Diva

Three is the number that thou shalt count,
and the number of the counting shall be three.
Do not count to two, excepting that thou proceedest to three.
Five is right out!

Whoa! Another post!!

by the Mall Diva

Has Hell frozen over?


I have something important to tell you! Last November Princess Flickerfeather and her brother Prince Donny went down to Oklahoma to help Tracy Trost, a friend of ours, work on an original film. They had a blast, and PFF even blogged all about it here!

Anyhoo, now the trailer is up, and I have a request to make of you:
Would you please join facebook (if you’re not on it already), watch the trailer and become a fan of the movie? It would mean ever so much to us, it’s quite an exciting event!! Thanks!

Everyone asks me why I came home…

by The Mall Diva

Last year at the beauty shop we had a friendly little competition in which the goal was to acquire points by selling retail and getting our clients to refer their friends, among other things. The prize would be that my boss, Jackie, would take the winner to Florida. (She goes there quite often because her brothers own condos there in Destin.) This was a big deal, and we started collecting points as fast as we could. It was kind of silly, though, because we didn’t really establish a good way of keeping track of all the points; plus Amy (who owns the bakery about three doors down fom us, and does not work in our shop)would send me all the girls she coaches in softball (which I’m not complaining about), but then she would claim the points. Hello! That’s bogus!!

Anyway, I think it was pretty clear that I won, but Jackie is nice, so she decided that she would take my co-worker, Candace, Amy, and me. We left January 9th at about 5 p.m., and partied until the day we returned home, the 14th. Yep, partied real hard, which for me included dancing, being the designated driver, and singing in a bar called Rum Runners. No, it was not karaoke, and yes, I am expecting my pay check to come soon.

Oh, yeah! The weather was kind of rainy and icky for a couple of days, but then it cleared up and was sunny. We walked on the beach a lot, and even swam! (Not in the ocean, silly, in a heated pool!) On our last day there we were walking on the beach, and my boss was wearing her swimsuit. A lady came up to us and said to her, “Wow, you’re pretty brave.” (I guess it felt a little cool out to the native Floridians, but to us from the frozen tundra it was definitely bikini weather.) Jackie said “Well I have to be out here like this, I have to go home today!!” “I hope you’re not from Minnesota.” “Yeah, we are.” “You guys just made national news!”

I was all for staying til April, after hearing that.

(Just kidding, Benny!)

I have lots of pictures, I’ll try to do another post just for them tomorrow.

Area Couple Enjoys Abstinence!

This is Ben and Faith. Hi! Earlier today the Night Writer directed our attention to an article about a couple who had waited until their wedding to kiss (hubba hubba! btw). They are both abstinence instructors in the Chicago area schools and they decided together to match their words and their actions. It sounded great to us.

Then we dipped our toesies into the Comment section. There were some supportive and congratulatory comments left by folks. And there were all manner of derogatory comments. Huh? Now just what would the fine readers of the Chicago Tribune have against a couple who waited until marriage to do… um, marriagey things? NW is going to get into some particulars about the logical fallacies, ad stupidem attacks and just plain silliness that some peeps took the time to type. For our part, we just wanted to write this post to chuckle.

Chuckle? Yes, you heard what we said. You see, we haven’t kissed yet and we are having a great time! How is this possible? Can future husband and wife have a good time without, uh, “having a good time”? You’d better believe it! But you’d never know it from most of those comments! If we trusted all of those comments to reflect reality then we’d both be weird perverts who are mentally disturbed or gay or, (wait for it)… just like Hitler! I kid you not. There was this one dude who busted out the Nazi argument to try to dis abstinence! Ich bin ein Berliner! Ja!!!

Now that’s all pretty silly, right? Of course it is. For our part, for the time being, we are getting to know each other better and better. We are learning to laugh, to pray, to talk, to worship, to compromise, to collaborate and to complement each other. In short, we are spending time learning how to be best friends. Fear not! The loverly stuff will take care of itself when it’s time.


Night Writer here. As Faith and Ben said, I have some commentary on the, um, commentary that accompanied the original newspaper article. It seems some people have had some very strong, very negative reactions about two people with an alternative lifestyle getting married according to the dictates of their conscience. As I write this there are currently 290 comments on the original three or four paragraph article. Many are positive but most aren’t, and the negative ones seemed to fall into a few common buckets. You can read them individually for yourself, but in the name of tolerance and diversity, allow me to address these comments here by theme or by representative quotes.

How can you really know a person without physical intimacy? (Related: what if they’re a bad lover, or hiding something, what if your sex drives aren’t compatible?)
This is the obvious response, and one raised in the article as well — shouldn’t you try something out before you “buy” it? Of course, if you buy the logic that not having sex before you’re married is a sure recipe for marital trouble you’d naturally have to believe that having sex before marriage is a major factor in today’s record-low divorce rate. My experience is that sex may make you physical, but it hardly makes you intimate. In fact, once sex enters the relationship it clouds your ability (or even your desire) to properly evaluate your partner’s character, personality and long-term goals if doing so could interfere with getting sex. Rather than taking the time to talk out important issues, or raise questions about troubling actions or statements by the other person, you keep quiet so as not to cause a fight that might mean “no sex tonight.” At the very least, you take up time that could be invested in finding out what the other person is really like.

The physical passion will eventually wane to some extent but the person’s character and personality will stay the same. A person’s inherent witchiness or sloth, ambition (or lack thereof), the number of kids s/he wants, the way s/he treats others — all can be missed during the “interview” process while you’re focusing on immediate gratification.

The question, at heart, is a good one but it is missing the crucial point. It is important to find out in advance “who” your partner is, how s/he performs under pressure and if you’re “compatible”; these are all things, however, that are better revealed before physical intimacy takes place. Sexual compatibility ultimately comes from knowing you have a partner you trust and understand, and who trusts and understands you. And let’s not forget that the most important sex organ is the brain. Good sex — no, great sex — begins long before you ever get into bed.

Why don’t they allow themselves to be alone or to kiss — don’t they have any self-control? Does abstinence mean ‘no kissing’?
Wise people know that good intentions are often overcome by passion and “weak moments” are often the result of negligence or poor planning. The solution is simply to not put yourself in situations where temptation can easily have it’s way; not out of fear of the act, but out of wisdom and a firm and common understanding of what is really important to each of you. Kissing doesn’t necessarily have to be a part of abstinence, but it does tend to inflame the passions and natural desire you have for one another. Making a habit of it continually raises the stakes and lowers resistance, making it more agonizing to back away.

I’m reminded of the scene in Oh Brother, Where Art Thou:

Delmar: Gopher, Everett?
Everett: No thank you, Delmar. I’m afraid one-third of a gopher would only arouse my appetite without beddin’ her back down.

How many times can you go into Old Country Buffet and confine yourself to the appetizer table before you can’t help but rush over to the main courses and desserts? And the best way to avoid speeding tickets isn’t to buy a radar detector, but to not speed in the first place.

Why deny our human desires just because of some invisible guy up in the sky / religion teaches us to fear and deny the physical / God made us to enjoy sex!
Setting God aside (for the moment), there are very good natural as well as supernatural reasons to be careful about sex, such as unintended pregnancy, sexually-transmitted diseases, abortion, child support and invitations to appear on the Jerry Springer Show. Then there’re all the “exes”: ex-wife, ex-gf, ex-bf and extraordinarily complicated holiday schedules. Have you ever noticed that “ex” is two-thirds of the word “sex”?

Perhaps a loving God, not an angry one, really wants the best for us and would like to see us avoid all these ugly complications so he offered some rules on how to use the free will and other gifts he gave us in ways that enhance our life and our ability and capacity to help others.

“Why do we reward this kind of behavior by making celebrities of these fanatics? These freaks have no business anywhere near our youth!” Yeah, don’t they know that we’re supposed to be making celebrities of all those bed-hopping actors, actresses, heiresses and rock stars! The nerve of some people!

“Let’s be honest he’s gay or he’s lying. She’s definitely a flake, so good luck with that. They both need to grow up!”
I’m continually amazed at the number of psychics, mind-readers and psychiatrists trolling the comment sections of newspapers and blogs; nearly as many as those with the special ability to make up statistics on the spot.

“It scares me that these people are teaching our children about important issues of sexual health.” It scares me that there are people out there who can’t abide someone daring to tell their children, “No.”

Super Fun Stuff!!!

Okay, first of all I need to direct your attention to, where I ask that you kindly click on their karaoke contest link, and vote for Princess Flickerfeather. I know, I should have done this earlier, because the last day to vote is Saturday. I’m sorry. Anyway, all of the karaoke contestants are listed in 2 columns, and you will find Casii Stephan about halfway down the right-hand column. She performed the song “Higher Ground” by Stevie Wonder. You can even watch the video of her performance here.

Please, please, PLEASE go and vote for her. And tell your friends.

Second of all, as many of you may know, I’m getting married next May.

Woohoo!!! Yeah, I know, it’s pretty exciting.

So my bridesmaids and my mother and I went bridesmaid- and mother-of-the-bride- dress shopping. (Btw, isn’t it awesome that “mother-of-the-bride” and “Minnesota organization of blogs” have the same acronym? My mom is the MOB in the MOB!) My cousin (the former queen of IGH who is now running for Winter Carnival) Lindsay works in a bridal salon, and decided to make the arrangements for our shopping event. She helped me decide which places to go, and made appointments for us to go there. I was very happy to let her take that over. My bridal peeps and I went to Bella Bridal, which is in the Woodbury Lakes mall, and David’s Bridal, which is not far from it.
We had the most wonderful time…so enjoyable in fact, that for the most part we could not contain our laughter.

It started innocently enough...

See? We acted normal like anyone else who was in that shop! Then maybe we got a little silly…