Pleased to be of Service

At last in the middle of The Winter That Almost Wasn’t we’ve finally had a taste of the elements that have done so much to fuel the lore of Minnesota winters and the hardy folk who live here. We received six inches of snow on Sunday and tempertures dropped near zero overnight, and yesterday’s sunshine was as clear and brittle as a new icicle.

Of course, as tastes go, this is barely a smear of Velveeta on a cracker appetizer compared to what we can usually expect, but it is enough for me to take Big Blue — my 30-lb, multi-layered great coat — out of the closet and zip the collar up to the tip of my nose. Crossing the street to get to my office this morning I picked my way over the piles of snow and chunks of ice separating the sidewalk from the roadbed while words about “that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge” sledded across my brain.

Today also happens to be the birthday of Yukon poet Robert W. Service, and that occasion, combined with our winter blast, is the perfect excuse to run one of my all-time favorite poems here. Bundle up and enjoy!

The Cremation of Sam McGee
by Robert W. Service

There are strange things done in the midnight sun
By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.

Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee,
Where the cotton blooms and blows.
Why he left his home in the South to roam
‘Round the Pole, God only knows.
He was always cold, but the land of gold
Seemed to hold him like a spell;
Though he’d often say in his homely way
That he’d “sooner live in hell”.

On a Christmas Day we were mushing our way
Over the Dawson trail.
Talk of your cold! through the parka’s fold
It stabbed like a driven nail.
If our eyes we’d close, then the lashes froze
Till sometimes we couldn’t see;
It wasn’t much fun, but the only one
To whimper was Sam McGee.

And that very night, as we lay packed tight
In our robes beneath the snow,
And the dogs were fed, and the stars o’erhead
Were dancing heel and toe,
He turned to me, and “Cap,” says he,
“I’ll cash in this trip, I guess;
And if I do, I’m asking that you
Won’t refuse my last request.”

Well, he seemed so low that I couldn’t say no;
Then he says with a sort of moan:
“It’s the cursed cold, and it’s got right hold
Till I’m chilled clean through to the bone.
Yet ’tain’t being dead — it’s my awful dread
Of the icy grave that pains;
So I want you to swear that, foul or fair,
You’ll cremate my last remains.”

A pal’s last need is a thing to heed,
So I swore I would not fail;
And we started on at the streak of dawn;
But God! he looked ghastly pale.
He crouched on the sleigh, and he raved all day
Of his home in Tennessee;
And before nightfall a corpse was all
That was left of Sam McGee.

There wasn’t a breath in that land of death,
And I hurried, horror-driven,
With a corpse half hid that I couldn’t get rid,
Because of a promise given;
It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say:
“You may tax your brawn and brains,
But you promised true, and it’s up to you
To cremate those last remains.”

Now a promise made is a debt unpaid,
And the trail has its own stern code.
In the days to come, though my lips were dumb,
In my heart how I cursed that load.
In the long, long night, by the lone firelight,
While the huskies, round in a ring,
Howled out their woes to the homeless snows —
O God! how I loathed the thing.

And every day that quiet clay
Seemed to heavy and heavier grow;
And on I went, though the dogs were spent
And the grub was getting low;
The trail was bad, and I felt half mad,
But I swore I would not give in;
And I’d often sing to the hateful thing,
And it hearkened with a grin.

Till I came to the marge of Lake Lebarge,
And a derelict there lay;
It was jammed in the ice, but I saw in a trice
It was called the “Alice May”.
And I looked at it, and I thought a bit,
And I looked at my frozen chum;
Then “Here,” said I, with a sudden cry,
“Is my cre-ma-tor-eum.”

Some planks I tore from the cabin floor,
And I lit the boiler fire;
Some coal I found that was lying around,
And I heaped the fuel higher;
The flames just soared, and the furnace roared —
Such a blaze you seldom see;
And I burrowed a hole in the glowing coal,
And I stuffed in Sam McGee.

Then I made a hike, for I didn’t like
To hear him sizzle so;
And the heavens scowled, and the huskies howled,
And the wind began to blow.
It was icy cold, but the hot sweat rolled
Down my cheeks, and I don’t know why;
And the greasy smoke in an inky cloak
Went streaking down the sky.

I do not know how long in the snow
I wrestled with grisly fear;
But the stars came out and they danced about
Ere again I ventured near;
I was sick with dread, but I bravely said:
“I’ll just take a peep inside.
I guess he’s cooked, and it’s time I looked”; . . .
Then the door I opened wide.

And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm,
In the heart of the furnace roar;
And he wore a smile you could see a mile,
And he said: “Please close that door.
It’s fine in here, but I greatly fear
You’ll let in the cold and storm —
Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee,
It’s the first time I’ve been warm.”

There are strange things done in the midnight sun
By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.

New blogging venue

I’ve joined the group posting over at Solid Rocks Ministry and I’ll be posting there once or twice a week in addition to keeping the night light on here.

I’ve not been shy about sharing things on this blog about my faith or commenting on current events from a Christian perspective; in fact, that was one of the main reasons I started this blog and will remain a focus. The reason I’ve decided to get involved with another blog as well is because “Rocks” is entirely focused on men’s ministry, something that has been especially dear to my heart for the past 13 years. “Rocks” is a forum for myself and other generally like-minded men to think and write about issues that challenge us as men and as Christians in order to learn from one another and to encourage and even exhort others who might stop by.

Things that I write there are apt to be more in depth than faith related posts here, and may actually use “Filings” or similar posts from here as a leaping off point for deeper, more explicitly faith-based examinations of issues and challenges from a manly, Christian perspective.

Feel free to drop in and see what rocks we might be banging together. I started posting there the first of this year, and recently added two posts (here and here) related to the Give That Man a Medal piece I posted here a couple of weeks ago.

Multiple babies – or multiple “choice”?

Be sure to tune in to the National Geographic Channel (276 on DirecTV) on Sunday night, January 14 at 8 p.m. EST for “In the Womb – Multiples”, a show that uses inside-the-body cameras, 4D ultrasound images and CGI to take us through the stages of development of twins, triplets and quads from fertilization to birth. I’ve watched the previous “In the Womb” shows featuring animals and individual babies and both shows were mesmerizing. This is “must-see” TV, especially if you have twins (or more) in the family, are pregnant or know someone who is.





Accent-uate the positive



Here’s a silly little quiz, so it must be Friday. Both Bogus Gold and Hammerswing have already completed this to determine what American accent they have. Given that all of us have been in Minnesota for some time it’s not too surprising that we all fell under the “Midland” category. This Midland, however, must be about the size of my mid-section, since there’s room for one of them to be “Midland-Philadelphia” and the other to be “Midland-The West”, while I am “Midland-The South”. My score must have been influenced by the years I spent in Missouri, which I pronounce “Missour-uh”. I would no more say “Missour-ee” than I would pronounce Arkansas (“Arkan-saw”)as “Ar-kansas”.



Anyway, in the spirit of the day, crack open a cold soda, pop or Coke or whatever it is you call a soft drink where you come from and enjoy the quiz.


What American accent do you have?

Your Result: The Midland
 

“You have a Midland accent” is just another way of saying “you don’t have an accent.” You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.

The South
 
The Inland North
 
Philadelphia
 
The West
 
The Northeast
 
Boston
 
North Central
 
What American accent do you have?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz


She Speaks

Awwww! I feel so special! You miss me!!

Right at this moment writing is a little difficult, as Felix is jealous of “the other” laptop and is trying to compete for his place.

I really haven’t been up to much except the normal stuff, like:
working, sleeping, eating, singing, shopping, etc, etc.

Let’s see, I had the oil in my car changed last Sunday… um, my mom’s been making me cook lately… I cleaned my room…Oh! I did a haircut for “Locks of Love” a couple weeks ago! Guess how many inches I chopped off? Twenty-three. Yep.

I’m going to be a bridesmaid in June. My co-worker is getting married. She and her fiance went to middle school together and were each other’s first crush. Then in ninth grade he moved away. They did meet up once more a few years later, but after that she didn’t see him again until last September at a wedding. They started a long-distance relationship (he lives in Texas) and he proposed on December 4th. We (the peeps at the salon) are pretty sure she’ll be moving. I know this story practically inside-out. That’s what happens when you work in a beauty shop.

And now for something completely different!

There is something that I hear about almost every day that amuses me.
Global warming. It’s true, Minnesota (or at least the Twin Cities and surrounding area) has not gotten a really good snow in quite a while; though I’m sure “global warming” was the first thing that popped into the heads of Oklahomians when they got ten inches.
It’s all perspective.

Save the polar bears!!!

Check out these pants in the family!

OK, fair warning to all would-be lay-about boyfriends; jerks who let their dogs crap in my yard and don’t clean it up; yahoos who play their car stereos so loud the vibrations can rearrange my internal organs; and pouty, sunken-chested boys who don’t wash the car when you tell them to: I finally bought myself a pair of Haggar slacks as advertised by Pete and Red on their how-to show, “Making Things Right.”

Alright, that’s not really a tv show, it’s just a series of tv commercials made to look like a show, as I described before. Nevertheless, I’ve been impressed by Pete and Red’s demonstrations of the flexibility of the “Do-it To-it” waistband, the unbustable seams and the un-rippable pockets as they threw slackers through picture windows or trowelled dog-doo onto clueless jerks so I went out and bought myself a pair in a color I like and made in some mystery fabric described as “micro-gabardine”. They look great and feel terrific, as I’ve already practiced “bending at the knees and swinging from the hips, which comes in handy when you have to grab a squirmy one.”

The only problem is that all the Haggar slacks I had to choose from happened to be pleated. The day after I bought them my wife pointed out that the gay guys who write the Withering Glance column in the Strib had declared pleated pants to be totally out-of-it. Actually, I think this would strike Pete and Red as another product benefit: “Great slacks and you won’t have gay guys checking you out.”

The pants were also a little long, but the Reverend Mother is great at hemming slacks for me. Therefore Sunday right after church I changed out of my suit and pulled on the new pants, then called downstairs to my wife that I was ready for her to come and mark my new slacks for sewing. She called back upstairs, “are they the Haggars?” I responded affirmatively, whereupon I then heard both my daughters yell, “Run!” to the unsuspecting fella who had innocently followed us home from church for lunch. Heh, heh, they work great already and she hasn’t even hemmed them yet.

Anyway, you can check out “Making Things Right” for yourself here. All four commercials are shown in their long form, including some details that I’m certain will never make it to network tv.

Mall Diva, slacker

The Mall Diva unexpectedly got the entire day off from work yesterday. I’m not sure how she spent all the extra time, but it probably involved using her new laptop to browse on-line shoe stores or check out the iTunes capabilities of our just upgraded high-speed broadband wi-fi connection.

What I know she didn’t do is blog. It’s been over a month since her last post and, frankly, the comments on this site have dropped to an alarmingly low level. Therefore, a single course of action suggests itself:

Please leave a comment for the Mall Diva, either urging her to return or — maybe better yet — offering your own speculation as to what she’s been doing the last few weeks that has made it impossible for her to contribute here.

Going Dutch



A friend of mine moved her whole family to Amsterdam at the end of December for a three-year assignment. Her husband started a blog about the experience a few weeks prior to the move and I’ve been enjoying the reports from the whole family.



I’m happy to add Half a World Away to my “Night Lights” blogroll. Check it out and enjoy the vicarious thrill of picturing yourself starting a new life in a new country.

Pubs suffering in “Scotland the Smoke-free”

The countdown is on for state-wide smoking ban in Minnesota with competing prophecies of gloom and doom vs. fresh air and sunshine on what will happen. It is worth noting what actually has happened elsewhere.

A nationwide smoking ban in pubs and restaurants went into effect in Scotland in late March of 2006, with many of the same arguments on both sides that we’ve become familiar with here in Minnesota. Shortly after the ban went into affect the Cancer Research UK poll released results confidently predicting that Scottish pubs would benefit from the ban, citing poll results showing that 25% of those surveyed said they’d be more likely to visit a pub because of the ban. The poll also found that 10% said they’d be less likely to go to a pub.

That 10% figure is especially interesting when you read this article:

The smoking ban in Scotland has seen a 10% decrease in sales and a 14% fall in customers in pubs, according to a new study.

The study carried out by Oxford University Press on behalf of the International Epidemiological Association compared sales before and after the ban at 2724 pubs – 1590 in Scotland and 1134 in northern England – where smoking is still permitted.

The study’s authors say this is the first major look at the smoking ban outside of the US – where trade has remained fairly constant.

The report says: “These studies have mostly found no negative economic effects of such legislation on the hospitality sector in the long run.

“However, differences in the social use of public houses in Great Britain in comparison with the US may lead to different findings.”

“Our study suggests that the Scottish smoking ban had a negative economic impact on public houses … due in part to a drop in the number of customers.

“The short-term impact of the ban did not lead to more customers coming into pubs due to the smoke-free atmosphere, and presumably did not lead smokers to spend more money on drink or food instead of smoking.”

The study backs anecdotal evidence from licensees north of the border.

While the study makes a reference to similar bans in the U.S. having little affect on the bar and restaurant trade — an assertion that bears further scrutiny — it appears that the International Epidemiological Association must also acknowledge the statistics showing that harm has been done. In fact, if anyone is clearly benefitting from the ban it is the people hired — at tax-payer expense — to enforce the ban, as reported here:

A survey has found that some of Scotland’s smoke ban enforcers are seriously under-employed with some councils’ officers NEVER having issued a ticket.

An investigation by Scotland on Sunday found seven councils, between them employing at least 11 full-time enforcers, have failed to issue a single penalty ticket or warning since they began work in March.

It is estimated that the salary bill for these officers is around £220,000.

Councils say there is more to the job than handing out fines, however Stewart Maxwell, the MSP who brought the original bill before the Scottish parliament said: “I always thought it would be self-policing. From the start I didn’t think that it would be necessary to employ so many enforcement officers.

“A lot of them were certainly doing a lot of work when the ban was brought in, including distributing posters, but I don’t know whether this is still the case.”

Paul Waterson, chief executive of the Scottish Licensed Trade Association, said the money could be better spent compensating badly hit rural pubs.

It appears that an addiction to bureaucracy is even harder to stamp out than a craving for nicotine. Actually, I know of many people who have been able to quit smoking, but I haven’t heard of any government jobs being reduced. Has anyone ever tried to develop a “Bureaucracy Patch”?

Of course, why worry about livelihoods when lives are at stake? Scottish Health Minister Andy Kerr responded angrily to the survey results, saying “There’s a brutal answer to that. This is about public health, it’s about saving lives – it’s not about businesses.” I’ll bet newly unemployed Scottish pub and restaurant workers are already lining up to apply for jobs as government fat inspectors (fat in food, not government, of course) in anticipation of the next ban.

It’s, like, a real bummer, dude

Katherin Kersten’s column in the StarTribune today laments the fallen state of youthful language skills, citing overheard examples of overused words (“awesome”), trite expressions and ubiquitous cursing. Her take, with which I generally agree, is that we are losing our appreciation for language due to a diminishing common experience of seeing it used well.

Today, teens aren’t the only ones who have lost the ability to speak and write with vigor and eloquence. Folks of all ages are reading less — especially the classics, whose authors wielded our language most powerfully. As a result, our ability to express ourselves is diminishing, because we can’t draw on their example for inspiration.

Indeed, there has been quite some cultural devolution from “It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known,” to “Don’t have a cow, man.” That doesn’t necessarily mean that people, especially young people, are less intelligent or less stimulated; they have shown an amazing ability to adapt to the high-speed inundation of the digital, text-messaging world with it’s word and number contractions and abbreviations, and some hip-hop rapping is remarkably facile and creative. What is missing is a certain cultural currency of universal themes and ideas. Kersten cites one example of an attempt to bring this back:

Last month, Diane Ravitch, an eminent historian of education, provided the perfect antidote: “The English Reader: What Every Literate Person Needs to Know.” In this anthology, she and her son Michael Ravitch have gathered what they regard as the most memorable speeches, poems, essays and songs in the English language.

“Today, our common cultural reference points come from the visual culture: Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez,” Ravitch told me last week. Our schools could help remedy the problem, but often don’t, she says. That’s because “‘relevance” is now the watchword in education.

In textbooks, teens tend to find countless stories about young people much like themselves, according to Ravitch.

“How much richer it is to be able to use your imagination — to communicate with people who lived 200 years ago and come away with something that remains in your head and your heart,” she adds.

Norman Fruman, an emeritus English professor at the University of Minnesota, agrees. “Good literature deals with ideas, as well as emotions and the psychology of human behavior,” he says. “It records our greatest tragedies and our highest aspirations.” During 40 years as a teacher, he saw a steep decline in students’ knowledge of their literary heritage.

Having a collection of inspiring prose and oratory in one volume is a timely start. According to a Wall Street Journal article from January 3rd (HT: Port McClellan), the classics are being removed from what many might consider their last public refuge: libraries.

Checked Out
A Washington-area library tosses out the classics.

BY JOHN J. MILLER

“For Whom the Bell Tolls” may be one of Ernest Hemingway’s best-known books, but it isn’t exactly flying off the shelves in northern Virginia these days. Precisely nobody has checked out a copy from the Fairfax County Public Library system in the past two years, according to a front-page story in yesterday’s Washington Post.

And now the bell may toll for Hemingway. A software program developed by SirsiDynix, an Alabama-based library-technology company, informs librarians of which books are circulating and which ones aren’t. If titles remain untouched for two years, they may be discarded–permanently. “We’re being very ruthless,” boasts library director Sam Clay.

According to the article, books by Charlotte Brontë, William Faulkner, Thomas Hardy, Marcel Proust and Alexander Solzhenitsyn have already been pulled to make more room for more books from the recent best-seller lists. As in the schools, “relevancy” is puddle-deep evaluation that goes into giving the “customer” what they want, rather than what they ought to have. Granted, the argument, “It’s good for you” has never been especially persuasive to me whether the subject was books or vegetables, and there is quality in many of the newer works. My contention is, however, that we may focus too much on the pretty, colorful fish in the shallows and never venture into deeper waters where there are some truly awesome (in it’s literal sense of the world, not the teen version) creatures.

While there are times I would like to take others by the hand long enough to place a good book there, I look realistically to where I have the most influence: in my family. Reading has always been a favorite pastime for our children, starting with my wife and reading to them when they were still infants. Both my daughters read from an early age, and Tiger Lilly was especially motivated to learn her letters well before she started school. The television has never been a big focus for the two of them (in fact, I probably watch more tv than they do) and I think this shows in their writing and vocabulary. There are still opportunities to go deeper, though.

Tiger Lilly is our sole student in our little home-educating academy and she checks out staggering numbers of books from the local library. I am casting about right now, though, for a suitable classic and I’ve about settled on “The Count of Monte Cristo”, one of my favorite books when I was her age. I think she has the taste for adventure and righteous outlook to become absorbed in the story while absorbing and appreciating the themes of liberty and justice — and the well-turned sentence.