Superior, Minnesota

I usually leave the fisking of Nick Coleman, Doug Grow and the other StarTribune columnists to others. One reason is that I usually ignore their columns as part of my own “quality of life” commitment. A second reason is that I try to use outrage in modest doses as leavening in this blog rather than as a main course. And a third big reason, of course is that, as the Night Writer, by the time I’ve sat down at my computer to blog in the evening these columns have already been fisked to within an inch of their lives by others in the MOB so I turn to other topics.

Earlier this a.m., however, I grabbed a section of yesterday’s Strib to catch the debris as I trimmed my beard. It turned out to be the Metro section – or what they now call “twin cities + region”. Avid reader that I am, I found myself reading through the section before completing my grooming, which certainly made it easier to trim my hackles.

Mr. Coleman had a follow-up on the 11-year-old girl who died mysteriously last week; Mr. Grow was offering a tribute to a strip club doorman who died young. There was also a short AP article about a woman who just finished a 154-mile walk to the state capital to deliver petitions demanding a constitutional amendment requiring affordable health care. Oh, and there was an article about bars in Minneapolis trying to figure out how to hold onto what’s left of their smoking clientele in Minneapolis after the onset of the bar-smoking bans and winter.

Individually, each article had more than enough to get Mitch, Foot, Marcus and some others salivating. Taken as a whole, however, there was a certain ironic pattern that caused me to alter my pre-breakfast routine. Can you detect it?

Yo-ho and avast, there still be pirates — and why you might care

I saw an article today in the StarTribune, Miami-based Cruise Ship Attacked by Pirates off Somalia, and it reminded me of a book I read last year by John S. Burnett entitled Dangerous Waters.

It’s an excellent and eye-opening read about a subject most people think has become quaint: high seas piracy. Burnett was motivated to research and write the book after his own small boat was boarded and robbed. While you won’t find much in the way of masted ships flying the Jolly Roger looking for easy pickings today, the reality is that the basics of piracy in the 17th century and today are still in place: slow-moving, lightly-guarded ships loaded with valuable cargo in international waters with little controlling authority — and a large, international pool of people greedy enough, or desperate enough, that have access to fast boats and weaponry and little fear of being caught. In fact, about all that’s changed is the technology. Galleons have been replaced by high-speed boats; cannons replaced with rocket-propelled grenades; cutlasses with Uzis.

While this (literally) cut-throat business has never really gone away, even in the age of high-tech navies, it is mostly invisible because it doesn’t affect our lives in many noticeable ways. As Burnett points out, however, piracy today can easily lead to a serious and confounding global problem.

One of the most pirate-infested areas today is the Malacca Straits. While the location might not be as colorful-sounding as, say, the Caribbean and you might be a little vague on the geography, the Malacca Straits are a very important little body of water. They link the Indian and Pacific Oceans and are the shortest sea route between India, China and Indonesia. They are filled with shallow reefs and tiny islands and there are only narrow channels available for the nearly 1000 ships – mostly cargo ships and oil tankers – that pass through each day like slow, fat fish in a barrel. Heavy traffic in narrow confines makes for relatively easy pickings for pirates in “smash and grab” types of raids (board, loot any crew and passengers, take electronics and other valuables from the bridge and beat it to a nearby hideout or fishing village). Sometimes, however, this results in tanker or cargo crews being tied up and their ships left to plow on out of control through a highly congested area. It doesn’t take much imagination to think of the effects that a grounding or sinking of a tanker in this area could have on this vital commercial thoroughfare. Here’s some of what the above link about the straits has to say:

The narrowest point of this shipping lane is the Phillips Channel in the Singapore Strait, which is only 1.5 miles wide at its narrowest point. This creates a natural bottleneck, with the potential for a collision, grounding, or oil spill (in addition, piracy has historically been a regular occurrence in the Singapore Strait, but over the past 15 years has grown alarmingly). Some 400 shipping lines and 700 ports worldwide rely on the Malacca and Singapore straits to get to the Singapore port. For example, 80% of Japan’s oil comes from the Middle East via the Malacca Straits. To skip the straits would force a ship to travel an extra 994 miles from the Gulf. All excess capacity of the world fleet might be absorbed, with the effect strongest for crude oil shipments and dry bulk such as coal. Closure of the Strait of Malacca would immediately raise freight rates worldwide. With Chinese oil imports from the Middle East increasing steadily, the Strait of Malacca is likely to grow in strategic importance in coming years.

Whether through criminal accident or premeditated terrorism (elements of Abu Sayaff and Al Quaida are active in this area), it may be just a matter of time before such an incident fills headlines around the world.

It’s not an unknown threat to people who’s business it is to be concerned with these things, Burnett’s book and others (see below) does a good job of describing the efforts cargo and passenger lines, governments and military forces are making to mitigate the problem while also describing the bureaucratic, political and logistical hurdles they face.

All in all, today’s news story (selected by the Strib perhaps because it was so unusual sounding) highlights an issue we often overlook. If you’re intrigued by this information, Dangerous Waters is a sobering but very interesting read. You might also find the following related books suggested by Amazon of interest:

Jolly Roger With an Uzi: The Rise and Threat of Modern Piracy by Jack A. Gottschalk

Pirates Aboard!: Forty Cases of Piracy Today and What Bluewater Cruisers Can Do About It by Klaus Hympendahl

Maritime Terror: Protecting Your Vessel and Your Crew Against Piracy by Jim Gray

President Bush annnounces avian flu plan

Details here.

The key element in the proposal, in my mind, is the emphasis on developing a vaccine through the use of cell-based cultures rather than in millions of chicken eggs, which has been the standard since the 1950s. The egg process takes nearly a year, as I understand it, while the cell culture method is much faster and allows researchers to move more quickly through various experiments and trials, both for the H5N1 avian virus or for any other strain that may develop.

While it may appear odd that we’ve not made many technological advances in this area over the past few decades – as opposed to, say, digital music media — the fact is there hasn’t been an economic incentive or suitable risk/reward profile — for companies to invest time and money in this area.

“We’re not as well-prepared today as we want to be,” Leavitt said. “We’re better prepared than we were yesterday, and we’ll continue to get better prepared every day as time goes forward.”

…Part of the president’s plan, he said, will deal with what he called “junk lawsuits” that stifle the output of vaccine manufacturers.

“The manufacturers simply refuse to make it if they haven’t got some protection, so that’s part of the president’s plan to provide that type of liability protection,” Leavitt said.

The people I talk to who are closer to the situation say recent developments and the increased awareness world-wide are encouraging and if the H5N1 virus doesn’t mutate to a form easily transferred human-to-human in the next year we will be in a good position to significantly mitigate the threat. If it develops sooner than that then we could be in for a rough time globally. The latest projections from Health and Human Services now predict – in a worst case scenario – up to 1.9 million deaths in the U.S. alone.

Historically, there is a high statistical probability that the world is due for an influenza pandemic of some kind. Whether it turns out to be the bird flu or some other strain, the work that’s being done in revamping research and development capabilities now will pay off.

Are they sure it wasn’t pining for the fjords?

British say dead parrot had bird flu strain that has migrated from Asia to Europe

There doesn’t appear to be any doubt that this particular parrot contracted the H5N1 virus, but consensus hasn’t always been easy to reach with the British. You may recall the classic Monty Python “Dead Parrot” sketch where Mr. Praline tried to return a recently purchased, but deceased, “Norwegian Blue” parrot to the pet shop owner who insisted it was merely “resting”:

Mr. Praline: Um…now look…now look, mate, I’ve definitely ‘ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not ‘alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein’ tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Owner: Well, he’s…he’s, ah…probably pining for the fjords.

Mr. Praline: PININ’ for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got ‘im home?

Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin’ on it’s back! Remarkable bird, id’nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.

Owner:(pause)Well, o’course it was nailed there! If I hadn’t nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent ‘em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Mr. Praline: “VOOM”?!? Mate, this bird wouldn’t “voom” if you put four million volts through it! ‘E’s bleedin’ demised!

Owner: No no! ‘E’s pining!

Mr. Praline: ‘E’s not pinin’! ‘E’s passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! ‘E’s expired and gone to meet ‘is maker! ‘E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, ‘e rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed ‘im to the perch ‘e’d be pushing up the daisies! ‘Is metabolic processes are now ‘istory! ‘E’s off the twig! ‘E’s kicked the bucket, ‘e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

Read the entire sketch here.

Some progress with avian flu; and an “Uff da!” projection for Minnesota

I’ve posted several times with updates on the risk of an avian flu pandemic. My goal has been to promote awareness, not panic, and I hope regular readers have found these to be informative. I know my efforts have had nothing to do with it, but the MSM is starting to pay more attention to a possible avian flu outbreak. Today’s StarTribune picked up an article from the New York Times reporting that scientists have reconstructed the 1918 Spanish Flu virus and determined that it was a bird flu strain. Experts have long thought this to be the case, but this finding confirms that and will help in the process of developing an effective vaccine.

Pentagon to defend against avian flu?

From the Washington Times:

President Bush said yesterday that he was concerned about the potential for an avian flu outbreak and suggested empowering the Pentagon to quarantine parts of the nation should they become infected.

“If we had an outbreak somewhere in the United States, do we not then quarantine that part of the country, and how do you then enforce a quarantine?” he said during a Rose Garden press conference.

“It’s one thing to shut down airplanes; it’s another thing to prevent people from coming in to get exposed to the avian flu,” he added. “And who best to be able to effect a quarantine? One option is the use of a military that’s able to plan and move.”

… That would entail removing governors from the decision-making process and vesting more power in Mr. Bush. Yesterday, he acknowledged that the plan is not universally popular.

“Some governors didn’t like it; I understand that,” the former Texas governor said. “I didn’t want the president telling me how to be the commander in chief of the Texas Guard.

“But Congress needs to take a look at circumstances that may need to vest the capacity of the president to move beyond that debate,” he added. “And one such catastrophe, or one such challenge, could be an avian flu outbreak.”

… Mr. Bush said he has been spending a lot of time investigating preparedness for a devastating pandemic. During his remarks yesterday, he sought to raise awareness without causing undue alarm.

“I’m not predicting an outbreak; I’m just suggesting to you that we better be thinking about it, and we are,” he said. “We’re more than thinking about it; we’re trying to put plans in place.”

So, how are you feeling?

Top 10 reasons blizzards are better than hurricanes

Some Hurricane Katrina evacuees have said they don’t want to come to Minnesota where it gets so cold. Apparently they can deal with a string of hurricanes, but the occasional blizzard is too scary. With Hurricane Rita now on our southern doorstep, I offer as a public service the following list of reasons why blizzards are better than hurricanes.

  1. With a blizzard you get a day off from school; with a hurricane you lose the school altogether.
  2. After a blizzard, snowball fights break out; after a hurricane, looting breaks out.
  3. After a hurricane you are waist deep in water and toxic sludge; after a blizzard you are waist deep in something you can eat (except for the yellow parts).
  4. A blizzard drops a bunch of snow on your house and garage; a hurricane drops your house on your garage.
  5. After a hurricane you mobilize the National Guard with automatic weapons; after a blizzard you mobilize the neighborhood kids with snowshovels.
  6. There are so many hurricanes each year they have to be named alphabetically; blizzards are referred to by the year they occurred.
  7. Blizzards sometimes result in snow up to your roof; hurricanes result in you sitting on your roof.
  8. TV reporters at the scene of a hurricane look as if they’re reporting from a war zone; TV reporters at the scene of a blizzard look as if they’re reporting from It’s A Wonderful Life.
  9. A hurricane from Pat O’Brien’s will knock you on your butt; a blizzard from Dairy Queen just gives you a brain freeze.
  10. With hurricanes you can blame George Bush and global warming; with blizzards – oh, yeah, everything can be blamed on George Bush and global warming.

This list is not to suggest, of course, that blizzards (or hurricanes for that matter) should be taken lightly. Follow the link to find out more about the famous 1940 Armistice Day Blizzard that killed 49 people.

You can’t make it up: Union hires non-union workers to protest Wal-Mart

The protestors are picketing outside a Las Vegas Wal-Mart in 100-degree plus heat for $6 an hour and no benefits. (The average hourly rate for Wal-Mart workers in Nevada is $10.17, and the stores are air-conditioned).

Why?

Because the working conditions at non-union Wal-Mart are so bad, I guess.

Read the story here. HT: King Banaian.

Do babies cry in the womb?

A report that just appeared on WebMD today offers evidence that suggests babies cry while in womb:

A baby’s first cry may happen in the womb long before its arrival in the delivery room.

New research shows that fetuses may learn to express their displeasure by crying silently while still in the womb as early as in the 28th week of pregnancy.

Video-recorded ultrasound images of third trimester fetuses show that they appeared startled in response to a low-decibel noise played on the mother’s abdomen and display crying behavior, such as opening their mouths, depressing their tongues, and taking several irregular breaths before exhaling and settling back down again.

Researchers say the results show that crying may represent a fifth, previously unknown behavioral state for human fetuses. Previously recognized behaviors in unborn fetuses include quiet sleep, active state, quiet awake, and active awake.

The article notes that researchers say this behavior would require complex development:

They say documenting crying behavior in third-trimester fetuses may have developmental implications because crying is a complex behavior that requires coordination of various motor systems. It also requires reception of a stimulus, recognizing it as negative, and incorporating an appropriate response.

Go here to read the entire article.

Greatest government relief effort ever?

Most reporting on the Federal government’s response to Hurricane Katrina describes it in terms ranging from flatfooted to negligent to even criminal. Jack Kelly takes a detailed look at the facts instead of the perception here. An excerpt:

Jason van Steenwyk is a Florida Army National Guardsman who has been mobilized six times for hurricane relief. He notes that:

“The federal government pretty much met its standard time lines, but the volume of support provided during the 72-96 hour was unprecedented. The federal response here was faster than Hugo, faster than Andrew, faster than Iniki, faster than Francine and Jeanne.”

For instance, it took five days for National Guard troops to arrive in strength on the scene in Homestead, Fla. after Hurricane Andrew hit in 2002. But after Katrina, there was a significant National Guard presence in the afflicted region in three.

Read the entire article for an illuminating report of logistical achievement. HT: Hammerswing.