Some Hurricane Katrina evacuees have said they don’t want to come to Minnesota where it gets so cold. Apparently they can deal with a string of hurricanes, but the occasional blizzard is too scary. With Hurricane Rita now on our southern doorstep, I offer as a public service the following list of reasons why blizzards are better than hurricanes.
- With a blizzard you get a day off from school; with a hurricane you lose the school altogether.
- After a blizzard, snowball fights break out; after a hurricane, looting breaks out.
- After a hurricane you are waist deep in water and toxic sludge; after a blizzard you are waist deep in something you can eat (except for the yellow parts).
- A blizzard drops a bunch of snow on your house and garage; a hurricane drops your house on your garage.
- After a hurricane you mobilize the National Guard with automatic weapons; after a blizzard you mobilize the neighborhood kids with snowshovels.
- There are so many hurricanes each year they have to be named alphabetically; blizzards are referred to by the year they occurred.
- Blizzards sometimes result in snow up to your roof; hurricanes result in you sitting on your roof.
- TV reporters at the scene of a hurricane look as if they’re reporting from a war zone; TV reporters at the scene of a blizzard look as if they’re reporting from It’s A Wonderful Life.
- A hurricane from Pat O’Brien’s will knock you on your butt; a blizzard from Dairy Queen just gives you a brain freeze.
- With hurricanes you can blame George Bush and global warming; with blizzards – oh, yeah, everything can be blamed on George Bush and global warming.
This list is not to suggest, of course, that blizzards (or hurricanes for that matter) should be taken lightly. Follow the link to find out more about the famous 1940 Armistice Day Blizzard that killed 49 people.