Hero survives one attack, and is ambushed by another

It was with more than the usual morbid interest that I started following the story on Sunday of the shootings in Colorado at the Youth With a Mission training center and at New Life Church. I don’t think I know anyone who has been associated with YWAM, but I have become pretty familiar with similar organizations over the years.

The story took another interesting turn when it was learned that the shooter (the same guy in both cases) had been thwarted by an armed security guard at the church. Just as it seemed the media was going to run with the angle of a church having armed security guards it came out that the “guard” was a member of the congregation, a conceal-and-carry permit holder, and a volunteer by the name of Jeanne Assam who had shown up to provide ad hoc security after hearing of the earlier shooting. For those who have wondered if an armed citizen might have prevented a number of deaths a couple of weeks ago in the Omaha mall shooting, I think you have an answer.

How typical, however, that the first sentence in the story in today’s Pioneer Press cites Assam for bravery and reports that she was fired from the Minneapolis police force years ago for lying. A fine reward for citizenship, becoming an instant hero and almost as instantly having your past drug out in front of the world. It was the same treatment an elderly homeowner received when he fatally shot a teen-ager breaking into his bedroom last November: the newspapers breathlessly reported his past problems and dismissal from his position as a school principal. In both cases the law-abiding shooter’s history was an interesting detail that had nothing to do with the particular case at hand, but it quickly became the focus of the story. It was only later in the afternoon today before I got any of the back-story on the murderer himself (how sad that he’s dead; it would be interesting to see if he’d be charged with a “hate crime” based on his writings leading up to the shooting).

I’ll grant that Assam’s history is “news”, but it shouldn’t be the story. Perhaps the paper has merely used poor judgment in how the article was written and edited, or perhaps it made a conscious decision to try and discredit someone whose mere existence and actions strikes at the core beliefs it holds dear. It’s hard, after all, to keep our prejudices out of our writing, whether you’re a major market newspaper or a sole blogger in his basement.

The paper wants to make a connection between “bad cop” and “self-righteous vigilante,” perhaps to distract from the obvious “armed citizen prevents more senseless death” angle. I’m more inclined to make a connection between stalwart hero Atticus Finch regretfully shooting a mad dog and Jeanne Assam. Both the newspaper and I, however, assume that what happened years ago led directly to last weekend’s events. The difference is I can see how, whatever kind of person Assam was while on the Minneapolis Police force, the experience might have led her to seek the kind of peace that a deeper relationship with Christ provides. The fact that she was just completing a three-day fast suggests to me she is someone sincerely seeking God for direction; I get the feeling that to the newspaper it’s just another reason to imply she’s “weird.”

I suppose some liberal wag is out there writing or saying, “What kind of gun would Jesus use?” The fact is, no one is surprised to find sick people in a hospital. In the same way, you shouldn’t be surprised to find hurting people in a church. Both are a place where people can get better, though it isn’t always pleasant. In church, frequently, the key to healing is seeing how your skills and background, with all its faults, can be useful in helping others. It might not be as extreme a situation as what Jeanne Assam faced, but my prayers are with her. Not that I think God needs any encouragement in her case.

On with the show!


The Mall Diva posted about Eclectica a couple of weeks ago and, being both a proud father and a marketing guru, I just had to get the word out again about this coming Sunday’s show.

Eclectica is the name of a Christmas program that the Diva and her good friend, Princess FlickerFeather, conceived of several months ago. They found some scripts for skits, selected music, actors and other performers and worked up their own choreography for the program. They then broke the cast into three groups, with each group rehearsing one night a week for the past two months. As the producers, however, the Diva and Princess have had to be at all three rehearsals each week. There are certain compensations, however: I wonder if it’s coincidence that the Mall Diva’s sister, Tiger Lilly, has the most uncomfortable costume?

It is a Christmas program about the true meaning of Christmas, which you know is an important topic around this blog, and I’ve heard reports of some very talented performances at the rehearsals; including, I’m told, an impressive turn as a camel by a certain MOBster not related to me. The show is this Sunday night, December 16, at 6 p.m., with cookies and refreshments to follow.

Where: The Miracle Centre Church
125 21st Ave. S., S. St. Paul, MN 55075
Admission is free!

About that post…

Last week I wrote that I was working on a “doozy” of post that was taking me longer than I expected to write. I’ve continued to struggle with it for several days, and it’s kind of a strange experience. The topic is one that I care deeply about and where I have strong opinions and many examples to share, yet I feel as if I’m a bee batting against a window: I can clearly see where I want to go, but I just can’t get there.

I’ve finally come to the conclusion that for whatever reason, or purpose, this is just not the time. I don’t have peace with it, and when that happens (seldom in my blogging career, but often enough in other areas) I’ve learned it’s better to let it bide.

Meanwhile, the struggles I’ve had with this topic have kept me from getting some other posts done that are bouncing around. Enough unproductivity. I’m going to put this troublesome topic aside for now and move on. I think tomorrow I will tell you the story about the end of an era.

Guess Who’s Coming to Coffee?

The NightHens are at home, but preparing to go to coffee with RM’s sister and her daughter, Miss Inver Grove Heights.
RM: We’ll call them Her Majesty The Queen and what’ll we call Sandi?
Sandi: I’m the Queen Mother.
RM: You can’t be. That sounds like you were once the queen.
Sandi: Well I’m the queen’s mother. I can be the queen mother.
RM: Hey we’re all about accuracy here.
NW: Yeah, that’s why we use aliases.

The NightHens are out for coffee at the Boiler Room in the Union Depot downtown St. Paul. Joining us are The Queen (TQ ) and the queen’s mother (QM).
The Night Hens, the Queen Mother, and the Queen

QM: That’s not a cookie, that’s a plate.
MD: It’s as big as my face, I’m going to eat it. I had three cookies for dinner last night. Mom, is your necklace on backwards?
RM checks her necklace and switches it around.
MD: That is so gauche.
RM: Are you on a diet Lindsay?
TQ: No, I just don’t care for coffee cake.
TL: You’re weird.
TQ: I can’t believe I was born into this family.
MD: Yeah, how did that happen? Well, . . . . Sandi and Ken loved each other very much . . . .
RM: That’s enough.
A bunch of off the record conversation.

By the way Nicole is our barista today and is listening in to our conversation.
Nicole, our Barista

RM: You have way more coffee cake there than you need.
MD: Nuh-uh, I only have half.
RM: Who ate the other half?
MD:uhhm.. what shall we talk about?

TQ: Let’s talk about how I turned 20 years old!
TL: You’re old. Embrace old age!
TQ: I need a hip replacement.
QM: You’re 20 and you need a hip replacement?
TQ: Yeah, I’ll be racing the old ladies at the nursing home with my walker!

TQ: Did you write about how I need a hip replacement?
MD nods.
TQ: Well, let me read it!
MD: Oh, you’ll be able to read it, and so will everyone else!
TQ: Oh great! I am never coming here again!
RM: It’s not the place, its the company.

TL: It tastes shiny.
QM: It tastes shiny. What tastes shiny?
TL holds up the camera.
QM: You licked it.
MD: Well, no one’s taking pictures with it.
QM: You don’t know where that’s been.

MD: Nicole, will you take our picture?
Nicole: For sure.
TL: And then can we take yours as our barista?
QM: Yeah, do you want to be famous?
Nicole: It’s bound to happen sooner or later.
QM: Oooooh, good answer.
MD: You’re just working here till they discover you, anyways.

RM: The queen can sit here.
TQ: Yeah, if I can squeeze my big queen butt in there.
RM is typing and TL keeps giving her “advice”.
MD (to TL) : Maybe you should go take a turn about the room, you’re annoying your mother.
TL stares evil at MD. MD seems unphased.

RM: She (TL) just likes to make up new words.
TL: Oh yeah, like rebellity and literalistic.
MD: And perspicacity. What does perspicacity mean? It sounds like perspiration.
RM: It means keen insight.
MD: Oh yeah, Dan Stover is just the picture of perspicacity.
RM: Don’t be mean.
MD: I’m not!
QM: Faith is showing her rebellity.

TL: Look mom, a napkin in a bottle.
RM: You should have written a note on it.
TL: Okay!
QM: What does it say? ‘Help! A mad scientist is trying to turn me into a little person’? And then the writing gets smaller and smaller.
TL: Okay.

A man walks up and asks if anyone has change.
RM: (about MD) She has change.
MD gets out her wad and makes change for the guy.
MD: I am everyone’s personal bank today. Just call me ATM!
Nicole: But you’re better because your friendly and you don’t charge a two dollar fee.
MD: And I’m cuter too.
TL: Okay, can I have 20 bucks?
MD: No, you can’t withdraw, you can only exchange. And you can deposit if you want to.

RM: Our meter is out. Let’s get out of here.

Working on a doozy

This is a very busy week both at home and at work, and the work hours are slopping over into the non-work hours, and the non-work hours are eating well into the sleeping hours, leaving some rather dis-jointed blogging minutes. All while I’m working on what I think is going to turn out to be a pretty long, controversial, behind-the-scenes post. One that I’ve started to write many times and set aside. I write this part now as a way to commit myself to following through.

Why now? It has something to do with this, but that’s not the main reason. You’ll see. I hope to get it posted yet this week.

If that’s not enough of a tease, just wait until Friday: the ladies are planning another “live blog” of one of their coffee chats!

Picture this: Joy to the world, indeed

We were singing “Joy to the World” in church the other day. I’ve always like that Christmas carol, but as with many familiar songs, I sometimes gloss over the words without thinking about them.

So anyway, we started rollicking through the part about “the glories of His righteousness…” and I suddenly had the thought: “Just what are the glories of His righteousness?” Certainly his righteousness would have to appear pretty darn glorious when stood up next to my righteousness since mine, when left to my own devices, is a pretty rickety framework with a veneer-thin coating not big enough to cover all the gaps I’d like to hide so I have to keep shifting it from place to place as the wind blows.

And then the revelation returned to me that MY righteousness is worthless, but the righteousness of the sinless Christ is so great and glorious that it covers me and makes me righteous in God’s sight, and not because of anything I did but because of what Jesus did. In fact, because of what Jesus came to do.

Then I thought of the next line in the song: “…and wonders of His love, and wonders of His love…” for it is a wonder that God’s love is so all encompassing that He would send His son, and the son’s love would be so great that He would endure all for me.

And I sang with a great, sounding Joy.

Of hot stoves and warm good-byes

Torii Hunter is gone and Johan Santana’s bags, while they aren’t packed, have been brought up from the basement. As a Twins fan I should be sad but, while I’ll miss the lads, I think the Twins are doing the right thing. The market is speaking and you don’t have to be clairvoyant to get the message. The Twins have no business paying the kind of money these players can command – not now, and not even three years from now when the new stadium opens.

This is not a case of large market vs. small market. At least, not in any way that implies there’s a kind of balance between the number of teams on each side of that equation. This is huge market vs. everyone else and there are only a couple of teams that can handle the kind of dollars we’re talking about. Without going to Forbes magazine, or looking up TV contracts, I’d hazard that less than a handful of teams have the revenue to pay top dollar and beyond that has been established for the elite players.

Think of it, before last season the Red Sox paid some $52 million to Dice-K’s Japanese League team just to get the young man out of his contract; after that they still had to pay him another $50 mil or so. There were teams last year who’s entire payroll didn’t approach $50 million. I’d like to think someone in Massachusetts rubbed his neck pretty hard before writing those checks, but the Red Sox did win the World Series. Ask their accountants, not me, if it was worth it.

And ask the Yankees front office now if they’d wished they’d gone a little higher in the bidding.

The Night Hens are at it again.

The Reverend Mother (RM), Mall Diva (MD) and Tiger Lilly (TL) are live-blogging another out-for-coffee expedition.

In the car:
MD: You’re cute, Patience.
TL: Thanks, you’re cute, too.
RM gazes at her daughter in the rear view mirror (menacingly, according to TL)
TL: Oh, okay, mom, you’re cute, too.
RM: Thanks.

At Panera in Eagan:
MD: Is it yummy?
RM nods.
RM: What’s in that bag?
MD: That pineapple thing.
MD: I love lemon poppyseed bundt cake. I hope I don’t have a drug test this afternoon.
RM: The bump, I mean bundt, cake isn’t as good as the pumpkin muffie.
RM: That guy behind you is on his laptop while his wife knits.
MD: Yep, that’ll be me and my husband someday.
RM: He’ll be knitting?
MD: Totally! I can’t knit.
TL: Argh! I’m having thumb cramps again! I almost killed a man with this thumb!
RM: You have crumbs all over you. You’re crummy!
TL: Thanks, mom.
RM: I woke up in a bad mood this morning…
TL: You woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
RM: No, I woke up on the right side of the bed.
MD: Nuh-uh! You woke up on the left side of the bed!
TL: So what happened when you got up on the wrong side of the bed?
RM: That’s what I need you guys to help me remember. What do you think I had you for?
TL: I don’t know! I was under the impression that you didn’t want us! …So, are you out of your bad mood yet?
RM: He** no, leave me alone!
MD & TL: *Gaaaasp!!!!*
MD: I need another cup of coffee.
RM: I need another pair of blue jeans.
TL: I need a video camera.
RM: I don’t think a video camera is a need.
TL: Yeah it is!
RM: It’s a luxury.
MD: My need is the most easily fulfilled.
RM: Coffee?
MD nods
TL: Not after I break your cup.
MD: That would be stupid.
TL: I think a scar in the eyebrow is the most dashing kind of scar.
RM: Where did that word “dashing” come from? It must be ‘cuz they dash about town.

The conversation deteriorates to ladies’ men and hunter-gatherers and how they differ…

MD goes to get more coffee. When she comes back RM and TL are giggling uncontrollably.

MD: What are you laughing at? I don’t trust you.
RM reading what had been written.
RM: This is so dumb!
RM: You know, I don’t feel like Christmas shopping this year, you guys.
MD: So? It doesn’t matter how you feel!
TL: Coal for you, Faith!
RM: Yeah…that coal is starting to look better and better!
MD: Noooo!
TL: Well, you get enough of it and you can make diamonds! Take a 10,000 lb weight and crush the coal with it!
RM: No, I don’t think that’s how diamonds are made. I think they just made that up because of a lack of information. I believe that God made all the diamonds and put them where they are.
TL: In rings?
RM: No!! In the ground!
RM is looking at a hair that was stuck to TL.
RM: Where did this come from? Its not one of yours! It’s black!
TL: Don’t you remember when MD dyed my hair black?
RM: Well, when was that? It has to have been 2 years, it’s all grown out.
MD: Yup, it was when I was in beauty school. ’05. Two years.
TL: Wow. Faith is gettin’ old.
RM: Yeah! She’s going to be 20!
TL looks horrified.
TL: She’s going to have wrinkles!
TL: So how’s that bad mood coming along?
RM: What?
TL: That bad mood.
RM gazes into the middle distance.
MD: I wanted to tell you something. This won’t be interesting to people.
[…..
…..
…..]

RM laughs

[Crashing sound in the kitchen.]

TL: That wasn’t very much of a crash. That was more of a clang.
MD: A crash is more like something broke.
TL: Like if I dropped your cup. I have this vendetta aginst your coffee cup, I don’t know why.
MD: Maybe my cup has a vendetta against you. You better watch your butt, man.
TL: Dude! There is no way a guy can watch his own butt.
(What movie is that from?)

RM: So, what do you want for Christmas?
MD: Shoes! And purses! And diamonds are a girl’s best friend!!!
RM: Tell me things that are less than 30 dollars.
Silence ensues.

END

Happy birthday, Jack

Today’s the birthday of the great writer, teacher and Christian apologist C. S. Lewis, born in Belfast, Ireland in 1898. Coincidentally, it is also the day nineteen years later that he arrived at a trench in the front lines of World War I.

I noticed both of these details at the bottom of the page this morning as I did my daily read from A Year With C.S. Lewis: Daily Readings From His Classic Works. I gave the book to myself about this time last year and started the schedule on January 1. It’s almost a sad feeling to realize that I’m nearly finished.

The book consists of daily, one page (often only a paragraph or two) excerpts from Lewis’s impressive body of work, mainly from Mere Christianity, The Great Divorce, The Problem of Pain, A Grief Observed, The Weight of Glory and The Screwtape Letters and others. Often several days in a row would center around a common theme. It’s been a fascinating and thought-provoking experience as I’ve come to see new things in works that I already thought I “knew.” Some of the excerpts from A Grief Observed and The Problem of Pain have been especially timely and comforting over the past several months as my father’s health worsened (funny how I “just happened” to get this book when I did). Little biographical details related to each day are also featured, and it’s been kind of a Tarantino-like experience to track the events in Lewis’s life in this manner when the days are in sequence but the years are not.

This book would be a great gift for the reader and thinker in your family who is often pressed for time. I will echo one of Lewis’s warnings, however:

“A young man who wishes to remain a sound atheist cannot be too careful of his reading.”

Season’s Bleatings

I saw in the paper today that a new Christmas special is debuting tonight featuring everyone’s favorite ogre (next to me, that is): Shrek the Halls. This will be followed by the classic How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Between Shrek and the Grinch we must be dreaming of a Green Christmas. Talk about your tidings of joy!

Of course, not many of the “Christmas” specials really want to get into just what those tidings might truly be. Which means it’s time for my own personal Christmas re-run of a post I wrote a few years ago and ritually reproduced here along about this time every year. At least my re-run comes to you without commercial interruption. That is not to say, however, that it doesn’t have a Sponsor.

The True Meaning of Christmas Specials

Perhaps I was like Scrooge seeing Marley’s face on his door knocker, but I’m almost certain that when I watched the Charlie Brown Christmas special I heard Linus stand on stage and say:

And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree to render unto Caesar, and that all the world should shop and pay sales tax, and all went to be taxed, everyone into his own mall. And Joseph also went up from Shakopee, into Bloomington, unto the Mall of America, (which is called MOA) because he was an American, to shop with his wife Mary, they being great with debt. And so it was, that, while they were there, the items were purchased that needed to be delivered, and they brought forth their credit card, wrapped in promises to pay and laid it on the counter because there was no money in their checking account.

And there was in the same country stewards, abiding in their homes, keeping watch over their televisions by night. And lo, the commercials from Mammon came upon them and the glory of the goods shown round about them and they were sore afraid they would miss a good deal. And the commercial said unto them, “Fear not, for behold I bring you great tidings of a good economy, which shall be to all who do their part. For unto you is laid out this day, in a store near you, all manner of precious items, and this shall be a sign unto you: 40% off.” And suddenly there was within the commercial a multitude of friends and family praising their gifts and saying “Glory to the Giver with the highest credit card balance, and on earth peace, good will toward all, just $29.95.”

And it came to pass that I kept all these things and pondered them in my heart.

Fear not, for this is not going to be a complaint on how commercial Christmas has become. Frankly, those complaints have become as traditional and meaningless to most people as holly and ivy (if you don’t know what these represent, look it up). Complaining about how the true meaning of Christmas is being ignored, without actually dwelling on this meaning, is merely spiritual lip service; kind of like singing “Gloria In Excelsis Deo,” without knowing what it means. For me the issue is not that commercialism obscures the meaning of Christmas, but the cultural camouflage that diverts attention. As a case in point, let’s look at the Christmas specials we watch with our families.

Despite my parody of the Linus speech earlier, the Charlie Brown Christmas special is a classic and a true Christmas special because it is one of the few that deals specifically with the birth of Christ. “The Little Drummer Boy” is another old one and favorite of mine that also does this, while the Veggie Tales “The Toy That Saved Christmas” is the highlight of the new generation. Many so-called Christmas specials, however, purport to be about finding the true meaning of Christmas, but where is the Christ in “Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer,” “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” “It’s a Wonderful Life” or “A Christmas Story”? Watch these and most other shows and you’ll get the message that you can be what you want to be and you should do kind things for others, and that Bumbles bounce. Nice shows and nice sentiments all, but while Jesus would exhort us to be “nice” it isn’t why he came. Don’t forget that “for unto you is born this day in the city of Bethlehem a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.”

Enjoy the shows with your family, but look for ways to highlight fundamental Christian concepts within the programs, even if these messages appear unintentional. Since everything will ultimately prove the word of God true, teachable moments are everywhere if we are alert to them. The classic movie “Miracle on 34th Street,” for example, really focuses on the importance of faith, at one point virtually reciting Hebrews 11:1 and 11:5-6. Don’t miss the opportunity to call this to your children’s’ attention. I once sat open-mouthed (but not slack-jawed) watching the SpongeBob Squarepants Christmas program for the first time. The story is that SpongeBob has never heard of Santa Claus until his friend Sandy fills him in. SpongeBob get so excited that he stands on a street corner proclaiming the good news to everyone (no one else has heard of Santa either) about how kind Santa is and about all the gifts he will bring. Soon, everyone is shouting, “We love Santa!” I turned to my daughter and said, “SpongeBob is an evangelist!”

Of course, SpongeBob is focusing on all the benefits that Santa brings, which is also a failing of modern evangelism. People are exhorted to “try” Jesus for all the blessings that will be added to their lives but if these don’t show up right away (or don’t show up in the way people expect) they get disillusioned, even bitter. This, too, happens in the SpongeBob Christmas show. We lose sight of the fact that the first benefit of the salvation we receive from believing in Christ is not in getting what we deserve, but in avoiding what we deserve.

A good story for illustrating this concept can be Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol.” You may think you know the story of Ebenezer (there’s a Biblical name) Scrooge, but look at it as a parable. Scrooge is greedy and cruel and oblivious to his iniquity. He doesn’t heed warnings to change, but because of another’s desire for him to avoid his fate, he is visited by spirits that convince and convict him of his sins and show him what is in store for him. In horror he repents and asks for forgiveness, vowing to change. He’s not concerned about the benefits of a new way of life; he just wants to escape the fruit of the old way. Waking the next morning and realizing his opportunity he says “Thank you (Holy Spirit) Spirits!” and is ever after known as “a man who kept Christmas (Jesus) in his heart.” (By the way, I happen to think the George C. Scott “Christmas Carol” is the best, but I’ll always have a soft spot for Mr. Magoo as well).

I’m sure there are many more examples in Christmas programs that I’ve left out but that have occurred to you. I’d love to hear what message or blessing you and your family get out of different Christmas shows, so feel free to leave a comment. Just don’t shoot your eye out!

Merry Christmas, my friends, and to your families!