Monthly Archives: March 2005

Preview of Summer Blockbusters

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The summer movie season will be upon us before we know it, and there are a number of promising – if somewhat familiar – films waiting in the wings. The one area where Hollywood can be considered conservative is in producing remakes of proven winners, and this summer will be no different. Here’s a sneak peak of the updated classics heading our way:



Dances With Moonbats: After a Civil War, a white “soldier” takes an assignment in the American West where he is quickly forgotten. Befriended by Indians who think he is funny, the man decides he really is an Indian. His idyllic life with little accountability is shattered, however, when he writes a letter claiming the soldiers killed at Little Big Horn were “little Napoleons” who had it coming. Starring Ward Churchill.



Network: the updated version of this movie reflects the growing consolidation of the Big Media and its struggle against the inroads of the new media. The surefire catchphrase that will become the movie’s trademark comes when two of the main characters in the Network loudly proclaim: “We’ve lied like Hell and we can’t fake it anymore!” before resigning their positions. Stars Dan Rather and Eason Jordan.



Animal House: A rogue fraternity of conservative college students face prejudice, persecution and double-secret probation from the school’s administration and other students while enjoying high-spirited antics such as “Oil for Food-Fights” in the cafeteria, putting a dead horse named Nixon in the Dean’s office and hosting a wild burqa party that gets out of hand. Stars Hugh “Who’s With Me?” Hewitt in the John Belushi role.



Gone With the Wind: Despite the name, this is a drama set in the future when enraged senior citizens march on Washington, D.C. and burn it to the ground when they discover that the money supposedly set aside for their Social Security benefits blew away years before. One of the most stirring scenes is supposedly when the citizenry topples the statue of Teddy Kennedy that is carved with his famous statement, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t have a plan.”



Judge Dread: An ideal summer action/comedy that borrows from several other movies. Hilarity ensues as the Democratic minority scrambles to avoid an up or down vote on the president’s judicial nominees, known as the Men and Women in Black. The Chair of the DNC is hoping that the moviegoing public will be distracted from seeing this film by the latest release in the “Scary Movie” franchise.



There you have it, the summer blockbusters of 2005 (though “Hugh Hewitt: The Movie” may be surprise dark horse). If you go to any of these, however, please remember that no true fiscal conservative would ever pay $7 for a tub of popcorn.

MOB Behavior

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A certain amount of copycat behavior is to be expected within a group. Church members adopt doctrines, street gang members favor certain colors, and the left wingers continue to wear their sunglasses at night (apparently). Even among the iconoclasts and libertarians in the Minnesota Organization of Bloggers (MOB) you’ll find a degree of synchronicity.



While I don’t know that I’ll jump in with all ten fingers on the Nick Coleman “Fiskwah” (because it would mean having to pay attention to him), I’ve noticed a couple of fun interactive items being passed around the MOB that I’ve decided to try out here (each can be found individually in several places, but I picked up both in one place on Eckernet).

I blame the Minfidel



This site is certified 53% GOOD by the Gematriculator

This site is certified 47% EVIL by the Gematriculator

The Gematriculator has devised a way – perhaps a nefarious one – to evaluate the words on a blog or in a document to determine its percentage of “good” and “evil”. Being pure of heart, I had no qualms about running this blog through the process. Egad! Only 53% “good”? It’s gotta be the Minfidel’s postings that are bringing down the average!


Shall We Play a Game?



Name the first five movie or television quotes that come into your head (must be from different movies/shows). The first five things that come into my head really depend on what’s happening around my head at that moment, and since it turns out I’m one of the MOST EVIL blogs in the MOB (HT Sisyphus) I’ll go with these for now:



“Nee!” From…oh, do I really need to write it out for you?



“You gotta ask yourself…do I feel lucky. Well, do you, punk?” From “Dirty Harry.”



“Don’t tug on that. You never know what it might be attached to.” From “Buckaroo Banzai.”



“Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word “safe” I wasn’t previously aware of.” From “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.”



“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” From “The Princess Bride.”



Wave files downloaded from Frogstar.

Old Ironsides: A Bank That Robs You?

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Last month the St. Paul Pioneer Press reported that the world’s richest countries, including the U.S., had agreed to pursue a 100% write-off of $70 billion of debt owed by the poorest countries to institutions such as the World Bank. The undersecretary of the U.S. Treasury said this 100% write-off is something the Bush administration has supported for some time.



About $800 million came from money the U.S. contributed in 1996. The question all this raised in my mind wasn’t whether we were robbed, or if it was right to forgive the debt, but rather why the U.S. made such a loan in the first place.



The Preamble to the Constitution, states “We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure Blessing…” In Article I, Section 8, the Constitution states, “The congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes, duties, imposts, excises, to pay the debts and provide for the common defense and general welfare of the United States.” Now, the difference between “promoting” and “providing” for the general welfare is a topic for another day, but one thing is clear: the welfare the government is supposed to be concerned about is that of the United States. That does not mean that citizens of the U.S. can’t, or shouldn’t, contribute to the welfare of those outside our borders – only that it is beyond the government’s authority to use tax dollars to do so, whether it’s the World Bank, the International Red Cross or even tsunami relief.



Aggregation Day

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A little “Casual Friday” blogging today as I catch up on stories that I think are important but where I don’t think I can add much that is original:

Free Speech, Get Your Free Speech Here…While You Can



The consequences – unintended or perhaps intended – of McCain-Feingold Act may be moving from an infringement of free speech to a direct assault after a recent court decision overturning the Internet exemption and comments by a member of the Federal Election Commission (FEC) that bloggers can be prosecuted under the act have stirred a lot of attention. Whether it’s as dire as it sounds, or an attempt to whip the blogosphere into a froth in the hopes that it might discredit itself in some way (a dubious strategy if so), here are some interesting perspectives: from Jeff Jarvis at Buzzmachine, and a great letter and call to action from Captain Ed, some excellent analysis from Bogus Gold (be sure to read the Don Singleton comment), and an authoritative take – in the words of James Madison – provided by Jay Reding.


MOB Hits



In the short time since I started this blog I’ve had to explain to many friends and family members what blogs are. I’ve also been checking in with “the neighbors” – the other members of the Minnesota Organization of Blogs (MOB). Those of you trying to familiarize yourself with this new media, below are some posts from MOB blogs that caught my eye this week (besides Bogus, Captain Ed and Jay already listed above).



A sharp comparison of public vs. private education by Craig Westover.



A dead on translation of Dan Rather’s comments from the Letterman show by Sandy on the MAWB Squad site (who also earns a special place in my heart for being the first to post a comment to the Night Writer site).



Astute observations from the Ice Palace by Psycmeistr on two multiple homicides.



There have also been many, many excellent and moving posts on the Terry Schiavo story throughout the MOB. One that particularly caught my eye is here, from Shock and Blog.


The Itchy, Achy, Sneezy – and Sinking – Feeling

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Wednesday evening on the Hugh Hewitt show Hugh started to discuss a report from the World Health Organization (WHO) that was projecting as many as 50,000 deaths in the United Kingdom from the avian flu (or “bird” flu). Hugh thought those numbers sounded awfully high and wondered what people knew about this. During the time I was listening it didn’t appear that the callers were much more informed than the host.

You might want to get your barf bags ready, folks.

It’s not my style or mission on this blog to promote panic or to breathlessly sensationalize serious topics, but in my other life (“The Day Writer,” if you will) I recently edited an article by two very credible people in their respective fields on the potential impact of a bird flu pandemic. One of these people, in fact, is Dr. Michael Osterholm, director of the Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy and associate director of the Department of Homeland Security’s National Center for Food Protection and Defense. Dr. Osterholm and other disease experts around the world believe conditions are right for a bird flu pandemic that, if it occurred, would kill tens of millions of people around the world, and a projected 1.7 million in the United States.

Tsunami? Gesundheit!

Minfidel: Stop the Presses – Even the Strib’s Veterinarian Columnist is a Liberal!

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I admit that pointing out the liberal bias of the Minneapolis StarTribune and its columnists isn’t exactly the scoop of the year. One could even say this news is of the “dog bites man” variety, except the paper’s newest columnist would take the position that the man had it coming and the dog is a higher being that should consider running for public office.



The Strib has started featuring a weekly syndicated column in the Sunday Variety section by Dr. Michael W. Fox called “Ask the Doctor.” (I’ve noticed the column because it’s usually on the way to the Lileks jump page.) It’s a pretty standard looking advice column where each week letter-writers ask questions about pet care. Dr. Fox’s answers start off with a pet-centered response that then often veers off into global commentary. This last Sunday, for example, someone asked whether it’s a good idea to turn a pet into a vegetarian. The answer quickly swerved (to the left) to decry the environmental abuses and animal degradation brought about because humans tend to prefer a juicy steak or nice ham sandwich to a bowl of tofu.



Really, it’s almost as funny as Lileks and I wish I could cite more examples but the Strib doesn’t archive these columns. From what I’ve read in the past few weeks, however, I think some future columns could sound like this:



My dog, Brutus, has flunked out of obedience school three times now. What can I do? First, congratulations on being an involved guardian for your pet. Due to your commitment I’m sure the fault lies with our chronically underfunded obedience schools. Really, how can we expect our dogs to learn how to sit, stay and use a condom when we only commit 60% of our budget to education? We simply have to raise taxes.



My German Shepherd is constantly licking his paw to the point it’s almost raw. What is going on? What you describe is a classic stress reaction. And who wouldn’t be stressed given that we’ve got four more years of George Bush? Iraq’s a quagmire, we aren’t any safer, and I’ve heard that Bush wants to reinstitute drafting German Shepherds into the military police. I suggest giving your pet some herbal tea, trying aromatherapy, and contributing to Moveon.org.



I think my guinea pig is gay. Is there anything I can do? Why do you think you should “do” anything? Animals have been around longer than humans and have evolved to a higher level that doesn’t worry about who you share your pigloo with. It’s only your own ignorance that makes homosexuality appear anti-evolutionary, and you shouldn’t be so judgmental. Unless your guinea pig also has a White House press pass, of course.



While I couldn’t find other “Ask the Doctor” columns in the Strib online archive, I did find the original article introducing Dr. Fox to readers, which included the following:



“Animals are more finished than we are,” Fox wrote in his book “The Boundless Circle,” which is critical of our human-centered world view. “We are the unfinished animal. We are the newest mammal on the planet, and we have an awful lot of growing to do.”



Umm, so let’s see – we’re the youngest and, by inference, the dumbest animals on the planet – yet its fate is in our hands? Cool. But wait, let’s get a second opinion and ask one of the smartest mammals, and the King of Sea, what he thinks. Hey, Flipper – do you think Dr. Fox has it right?



“Eh-eh! Eh-eh! Eh-eh, eh-eh!”



Good boy! Here’s a fish! All of this does, however, give me an idea. See, my pet moonbat has stopped barking lately, and I want to write to the Dr. and see if I should have Mikey put down.

A Big Day for Children of the Night

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On the heels of my “Dad to the Bone” post a few days ago, I now report on events of this day that represent small but significant developments in the lives of Daughter #1 (codename: “Faith”) and Daughter #2 (codename: “Patience”).

Night Visions and I accompanied Patience to a nearby government branch office to request a passport for her and so I could sign a document giving my permission for my wife to take Patience out of the country. Signing this is not a big deal for us, but it did give me pause to consider the heartbreak in other families that lead to this rule.

Anyway, the two of them are planning to go to China this summer to visit a friend of ours who has been managing an orphanage over there for the last couple of years. They will see the Great Wall, help with the infants (almost all girls, I understand) and get a chance to see what it is like to live where your faith must be kept under cover.

Faith and I will be staying behind for this trip as Faith will be working through the summer on earning her cosmetology license. Despite being just 16, she’s enrolled at a local beauty school and, in fact, today was her first day of being “on the floor,” available to work on real live heads of hair. And then tonight she had her first rehearsal as a harmony singer with our church band.

These are relatively small steps for each of them, but as a father I’m all too aware which way the footprints are pointing: away. Each step on their respective paths, however, is consistent with who they are and who they are on their way to being. For Patience, compassion has always overflowed from her. I can remember her as a toddler crying when a cartoon character got hit with a hammer, or if she saw people fighting on television. She has listened raptly when our friend on trips back to the States has visited our home and spoken of the hardships and conditions the children and babies at the orphanage face. When the invitation was extended to her there wasn’t much question in her mind about whether she wanted to go or not. This will be an awesome experience that will undoubtedly shape her life.

For Faith, her request to go to beauty school was a bit surprising but logical. She’s always had a sense of color and style, proclaiming at age four that the mess of her bedroom was “a design” and insisting at age six, “Mom, I know my magentas.” She doesn’t plan a career in this line of work, but had an intense interest for some time in learning about it and clinched her argument by saying it would be a great way for her to work herself through college and toward an as yet unknown field.

These are exciting times for all of us, but especially for my wife and I as we watch with great interest and considerable input (but not necessarily eagerness) each new opportunity. It’s not that hard, but it’s not that easy, either.

Having worked with Faith on composition and creative writing, I’ve invited her to share her talents from time to time on this blog. I even suggested that she could go by the name of “Beauty School Blogger,” a suggestion that earned me the Daughter of All Eye-rollings. Nevertheless, to top off this big day, I’m posting here a short piece she submitted that appeared on a Home Schooling Web site last summer:

A Glamorous Glimpse Into the Life of Faith

Hello; it is I, Faith, of whom you have heard so much.
So, dear readers, here I am in the dungeon (a.k.a. basement), trying to think of things to write about that might even be of the slightest interest to you.

I might tell you about my most recent and horrific trip to the dentist’s office.

There I was, sitting in the car on my way to the office of a dentist whose name I can’t remember how to spell. As you can probably imagine, I was just a teensy bit nervous. We pulled into the parking lot. No sooner had I walked through the door, than through the opposite door appeared a nurse.

“Faith?,” she said looking at me.

“Yes,” I replied miserably.

She would have taken me away right then had not the receptionist whipped out a paper for my mother to sign. While I was waiting for the commencement of my torture to be affirmed, my doctor entered the scene.

“Are you ready?” he said, smiling at me.

(This would probably be a good time to tell you why I was at the dentist’s, for it was no mere check-up. On an earlier visit he had sentenced me to have all four of my wisdom teeth pulled out. The crime: the bottom teeth were impacted, and my mouth was just too small to accommodate them all, top and bottom. I know it might be hard for those who know me well to imagine my mouth as too small, but it was.) Now back to the program:

I guess I was as ready as ever I could be.

“No,” I told him.

He laughed. That made me feel a whole lot better.

He and the nurse took me back to one of the little dentist rooms and I sat down. They then told me to open wide, and then they stuck me. Six times they shot me with Novocain. I had hoped there might be laughing gas, but no such luck. Oh, the humanity!

Anyway, to make a long, painful story mercifully shorter, they cracked both my bottom teeth in half and yanked them one half at a time, then they yanked the top teeth, which wasn’t as hard. Your head might hurt just reading this; but hey, I said mercifully short, not painless.

As for now, I am not too ashamed to say that I look like a chipmunk. After all, who wouldn’t after that ordeal? It is also hard to eat and drink and brush. Painful, too. They kept my teeth, by the way: otherwise I could have scored four bucks from the tooth fairy!

Oh, the humanity!!