The Dark Ages return — but there’s still culture

There was great wailing and gnashing of teeth over the weekend as first Tiger Lilly’s laptop and then the Mall Diva’s crashed and died for unknown reasons (they weren’t sharing any files or connected to each other in any way). The prognosis today is that MD needs a new hard-drive and Tiger Lilly’s can probably be fixed by re-installing the operating system, though she’s likely to lose all her data. Fortunately, almost all of her novels-in-progress and other writing are stored on Google-docs.

A techie friend of ours is working on the laptops, but the girls were still bereft of their electronic connections today. Of course, I offered to let them use the Man Cave and the PC down there, but you’d have thought I’d offered them a spider sandwich. So, apparently, the latest installment of Tiger Lilly’s as-yet-unnamed web comic is delayed, while the Mall Diva can’t share an important announcement with her fans.

Fortunately, I’m here to do the honors but first I want to tell you that someone at work offered me two free tickets to the Celine Dion concert this Thursday night at Target Center. I’m not a big Celine Dion fan, but she’s all right and the price is perfect. I called home to see if my wife was interested but she was out and I ended up talking to the Mall Diva. I said I could get free tickets to Celine Dion and MD was very impressed. “When is it?” she asked.

“Thursday night.”

“Dad, Thursday night is the night that Casii and I are performing at The Black Sheep!”

“Hmmm, who sings better — you or Celine Dion?”

“DAD!”

Okay, so if anyone wants to come and hear The Mall Diva and Princess Flicker-Feather (or Princess FLicker-Feather and the Mall Diva) make their public debut (outside of church), come over to The Black Sheep for Open Mike Night, Thursday, Oct. 30, starting at 6:30. It sounds as if the girls are going to get the opportunity to do several songs. And if you’d like to see Celine Dion, maybe I could hook you up!

The 401-Keg Plan

I work for a major, MAJOR financial services company. It’s been a wild couple of weeks lately, including some issues over the weekend that resulted in me being called out of church service twice on Sunday. That made the following, which appeared on the bulletin board of our break-room on Monday, sound like pretty good advice:

If you had purchased $1,000.00 of AIG stock one year ago you would have $44.34 left.

With Wachovia, you would have had $54.74 left of the original $1,000.00.

With Lehman, you would have had $0.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago…drank all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have $214.00 cash.

Based on the above, the best investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called “The 401-Keg” plan.

Sounds as if you ought to fire JRoosh as your financial advisor and hire Kevin Ecker.

Name your price

“Right is still right, even if nobody is doing it. Wrong is still wrong, even if everybody is doing it.”
–- St. Augustine

Tuesday’s post about the role and necessity of hope reminded me of something I wrote way back in the early days of this blog about having integrity. Having hope is an important part of being a person of character and integrity because it gives you a vision for the future and a picture of what you want to be like. One of the reasons that hopelessness, on the other hand, removes moral restraint is because a fatalistic outlook sees no benefit in the present for not taking the easiest path or pursuing the most gratifying action.

In my old post I used the story of a man I knew of whose hope — and integrity — didn’t fail him in a time of great stress. It’s a great illustration of how doing the right thing can not only bring peace but triumph and I hope it is an encouragement for all who read it. Here’s the main part of the original piece:

Have you ever struggled to do the right thing on your job or in your business while it seemed like everyone else was getting ahead doing the wrong thing?

Several years ago I talked at length with a man by the name of Ronnie Carroll who had an amazing story. In the late ’80s Ronnie owned a satellite TV dealership in Tallahassee, FL. This is a great business to be in in that part of Florida because it is almost impossible to get TV reception there unless you have a dish.

Ronnie was having a tough time, however, because he was the only dealer in the area who refused to sell illegal decoders that allowed folks to unscramble HBO and the like without having to pay a fee. His potential customers would hear his policy and go on down the road and buy their equipment from a dealer that would also sell them the pirate decoders.

For months Ronnie watched business go out the door. He eventually had to close his shop and try to operate his business from his home. Ronnie prayed throughout the winter, asking God to “judge his cause” and seeking direction on whether he should find another line of business.

That spring a couple of gentlemen from the FCC showed up at Ronnie’s door. They said that Washington had made it a priority to crack down on illegal decoders and they were starting in his area. Their investigation had already shown that Ronnie was the only dealer in the area who wasn’t selling the devices and they wanted him to be in charge of collecting the pirate decoders. All dish owners were being told they had a 30-day grace period to turn in their outlaw decoders and pay Ronnie a $300 “disposal fee” or face prosecution. Simultaneously many of his one-time competitors were facing prosecution themselves and were going to find it hard to stay in business.

It also turned out that the company that made the bootleg devices also made legal decoders. Since the dishes wouldn’t work without some kind of decoder the FCC required the manufacturer to provide Ronnie with a line of credit to buy legal decoders to sell to the people turning in their outlaw equipment.

“Overnight,” Ronnie said, “I suddenly had people crammed in my living room and lined up down my driveway to turn in their devices and buy new decoders and subscriptions. There were judges, lawyers and police officers in line. I bought a sign that said, ‘As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord,’ and put it by my front door.” Immediately Ronnie’s business went from barely surviving to grossing more than $80,000 a month. Several newspapers and television stations interviewed him and he shared his story with all he talked to. When I last talked to him years ago his business was still thriving.

One moral to this story is that God doesn’t move quickly: He moves suddenly. It may not look like anything is going on, but His blessing is already on the way and in one moment to the next everything can change. Heaven forbid that the moment right before that is when we give in. When the FCC rang Ronnie’s doorbell he no doubt thought it was a bill collector, and not the answer to his prayers. We need to expect God’s faithfulness, and don’t let our actions or attitudes succumb to what appears to be reality.

What is the price you put on your honesty and integrity? Will you sell it – like Esau – for some piddling and short-term gain? We live in a world full of hustlers, always trying to shade themselves a little edge here and there. The dismaying thing to me is not that this happens, but for what little amounts people are willing to trade their name and integrity. The thing about a path that is straight and narrow is that there are no corners we can cut and still stay on it.

Proverbs 22:1 says, “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.” Temptation is always around to provide opportunity and justification; when exposed to the light, however, these justifications are shown to be flimsy and selfish. Likewise, we may not see the true value of our reputation until we ourselves are exposed, and by then it’s too late. What we get never seems equal to what we give up. Indeed, it is “too late” the moment we cheat, not the moment we get caught.

Integrity is not something that can be taken away from us -– we can only give it away. We need to be careful that in our efforts to make a name for ourselves that we don’t end up giving that name away.

The Perspicacity of Hope

The following is the text of a message I delivered to our monthly “Inside Outfitters” men’s group; a group that typically includes 50-60 men of all ages from Minnesota Teen Challenge a faith-based residential drug and alcohol recovery program.

Somewhere or another I heard someone waxing eloquently about having the audacity to hope. Those seemed to me to be strange words to combine since the definition of audacity includes references such as “reckless” and “rash”. While hope may be criticized or extolled, mocked or encouraged, it is not reckless or foolish. Hope is also both dangerous and endangered and the times we’re living through seem almost engineered to crush hope.

This suggests to me that hope has never been more important, or more of a threat to the status quo. Rather than “audacity” we should endorse the perspicacity of hope. What do I mean by that (literally, what do I mean)?

What I meant to say

Kevin Ecker periodically runs a photo caption contest over at his blog, EckerNet. He posts an unusual photo and invites captions; whoever makes him laugh, wins. Knowing what amuses Kevin gives you an advantage in the contest, though this might be a handicap in life in general (I must confess I’ve had some success in this contest).

I didn’t win the latest contest, but I think it’s because Kevin had already picked the winner by the time I went to enter my latest brainstorm. Oh well, waste not, want not. Below is the photo and my belated caption.


The Obama campaign leadership decides they’re finally going to have to break down and call Joe the Plumber.

More 17th century blogging

I was flipping through my copy of The Art of Worldly Wisdom the other day. It’s a collection of the aphorisms of Baltasar Gracian, who I have quoted here before. I rather liked this one:

…For virtue is the bond of all the perfections, and the heart of all life’s satisfactions. It makes a man sensible, alert, far-seeing, understanding, wise, courageous, considerate, upright, joyous, welcomed, truthful and a universal idol. And three are the S’s that make for happiness: saintliness, sanity and sapience. Virtue is the sun of our lesser world, the sky over which is a good conscience. It is so beautiful, that it finds favor with God, and of man. There is nothing lovely without virtue: and nothing hateful without vice: for virtue is the essence of wisdom, and all else is folly: capacity, and greatness must be measured in terms of virtue, and not in those of fortune. Virtue alone is sufficient unto itself: and it, only, makes a man worth loving in life, and in death, worth remembering.

Those old guys sure had some funny ideas.

21 years ago today

It’s about the blood
banging in the body,
and the brain
lolling in its bed
like a happy baby.
At your touch, the nerve,
that volatile spook tree,
vibrates. The lungs
take up their work
with a giddy vigor.
Tremors in the joints
and tympani,
dust storms
in the canister of sugar.
The coil of ribs
heats up, begins
to glow. Come
here.

“Yes” by Catherine Doty, from Momentum. © Cavan Kerry Press.