I’d heard a couple of comments at work today about an incident last week where some Vikings players had acted in an unsavory manner on some charter boats on Lake Minnetonka. In this community we’re all too used to reports of drunken driving, assaults and unruly behavior in public with this club so the context of the comments today were along the lines of what “our” chuckleheads had gotten themselves into now.

Driving home from work, however, I heard for the first time details of what allegedly had happened as KFAN host Dan Barreiro interviewed an attorney representing the charter boat service. This was much more detailed and explicit than what had been reported so far. The gist of it was that Viking players (not necessarily the team itself) had chartered two boats and arrived at the dock in a parade of limos. A number of women accompanied the players and once out on the lake there was some disrobing and lap dancing. This evolved into several of the players engaging in sex acts with the women in the public areas of the boat and in view of other players and the crew of the boats. Money was seen changing hands. The crew included young waitresses who were themselves accosted, offered money to participate and teased by these players and their “dates”. The situation was reportedly very frightening to the crew, staff and captains who consulted with ownership on the radio and decided to return to shore. They were concerned with having to deal with many large, unhappy men so they didn’t tell the group they were returning. Because several of the players were also in the control rooms of the boats the captains (young men between 25 and 30 years old) were afraid to give too many details to ownership about what was going on. The limos had remained at the dock so the charter boat owners organized these for a quick pick up and there weren’t any reported incidents when the boats returned. Some of the players apologized for their teammates actions.

There’s certainly a lot to be outraged about in the world today (especially considering the Mall Diva’s post above this one), but for some reason this situation especially turned my crank. That maybe doesn’t say a lot about my priorities when there are so many things of national and international importance to comment on, but I’ve just got to let it fly on this incident.

It may be because I can picture myself being the father of one of those waitresses (hmmm, but not of the other “ladies”) and I can imagine how scary it could be to be trapped in that charged atmosphere. I can also easily imagine the concerns of the captains knowing they were navigating at night on deep water with a group of very large, very strong and unruly men who might not be in a mood to be reasonable. The possibility that they were overreacting – and that the attorney was overplaying the scenario – exists, but it doesn’t sound that far-fetched to me. And I think this behavior has reached a tipping point – for the franchise and possibly for sports in general as this becomes (I predict) a national story in the coming days.

New Vikings owner Zygi Wilf has to take immediate and dramatic action — not to save this season, but to save this franchise and his investment. The players — whether on an officially sanctioned team event or not — have shown no accountability or concern for the public. A public, by the way, that they are expecting to come up with tons of money to build them a new stadium. (Perhaps we ought to consider building another prison instead.) Given this team’s history, ranging from Tommy Kramer and other drunks terrorizing the 494 strip in the 80s up through the infamous Artic Blast event and including the domestic incidents and street-fighting of even more recent vintage, Mr. Wilf needs to put a strong and undeniable stamp on his professed committment to making this a class organization.

There were reportedly as many as 17 of the players involved in this incredibly inappropriate public display. There are 12 weeks left in this season. Mr. Wilf needs to announce that beginning this week two or three players from this group will begin serving two-game suspensions without pay for conduct detrimental to the team and the entire organization, and that these rolling suspensions will continue until every player involved has been suspended. Forget whether or not any of these actions can be proved to be criminal; this isn’t a time for technicalities. These actions in and of themselves have a negative impact on a multi-million dollar operation and its standing and goodwill in the community, and this is the perfect opportunity to demand accountability and establish that things are going to be different. If the team loses, so be it. Mr. Wilf has indicated that his is a long-term view and he wants to operate it in a way that makes his family proud.

Do it, Mr. Wilf, and make us proud at the same time.

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When I heard the news of President Bush’s latest nominee for the Supreme Court the other day my initial reaction was much like Fozzie Bear’s famous “AAH-ah” of discovery: surprised, interested and a bit uncertain. I’ve sat back and tried to process my thoughts and predictions as just about every other blog I’ve read has jumped on one side or the other as to whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. Even after a few days of this I’m still, like Fozzie, a bit wide-eyed.

Here’s the thing for me: I’m politically and socially conservative, and most of my close friends and family vote the Constitution Party. Having been quite involved in Minnesota Republican politics some years ago, I have long since overcome any illusion that there was any real difference between Republicans and Democrats when it came to fiscal sanity. For all the supposed rhetorical differences, each party in practice is pretty much the same when you look at the results. Socially there was a big difference between Bush and Kerry, but I probably would have gone ahead and cast a protest vote for the Constitution Party candidate, Michael Peroutka, but for one, over-riding reason: the Supreme Court.

Given Bush’s track record of judicial nominees in his first term, I really wanted him – and our country – to have a chance to put conservative constructionists on the Supreme Court for the next 30 years. When the first opening arrived and he nominated John Roberts I was almost giddy – something I haven’t felt when it comes to politics in a long time. I was blown away at Bush’s political masterstroke in distracting his opposition while coming up with, almost out of the blue, a bulletproof heavyweight. The Dems knew they couldn’t touch him, but it was fun to watch clowns like Joe Biden blunt their pointy little heads on Roberts’ Kevlar fashioned from experience, scholarship and gravitas.

I thought the only question with the second nomination would be whether Bush choose to go into battle with one of the leading candidates already out there drawing fire, or whether his team had another overwhelming powerhouse like Roberts waiting in the wings to wheel onto the field.

Consider me underwhelmed.

There are definitely things about Harriet Miers that I like and make me feel hopeful, and I can’t – as you may have noticed over the past few days – work up the righteous indignation of so many other bloggers and pundits regarding her nomination. At the same time I can’t help but feel more than a bit wistful at an opportunity lost.

It was kind of like waiting for the NFL draft when your favorite team has a top pick. You spend months reading scouting reports, listening to Mel Kiper and the wannabees, imaging this blue-chip player or that coming in to plug a hole on your team. Then, on draft day, Paul Tagliabue steps up when it’s your team’s turn and says, “From Slippery Rock State …”

Hey, maybe the kid has 4.2 speed in the 40, great hands and eats linebackers for lunch, but you still don’t know if he can play in NFL. Someone high up must have seen something in him, but you can’t help yourself from thinking, “Is that the best we could do with that pick right now? Maybe he would have been available next round after you’ve already drafted the stud from the national championship team.”

Blogfather Hugh couldn’t ease my concerns completely, and the President’s “Trust me” statement wasn’t what I was hoping to hear, either. While he hasn’t inspired my confidence in areas such as immigration and spending (where I had low expectations going in anyway), I will say that his judicial appointments throughout his time in office have been more than solid.

So, back to my Muppet analogy, perhaps my hopes have been abused and my support manipulated by unseen hands. My options are limited, however. It’s not going to do any good for me to go all Animal right now or to act like the karate-chopping Miss Piggy – or even to heckle from the balcony like Waldorf and Astoria. I’ll just be Fozzie; a bit dim, I guess, but always optimistic that things are going to turn out alright. I just hope that this isn’t a re-run.

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Here’s an old joke:

A Protestant pastor is attending a conference in Ireland when he decides to use some free time to drive through the countryside. It’s a lovely day and he’s enjoying the beautiful scenery and accidentally drifts over the center line and strikes an oncoming car.

The pastor is shaken but okay, and is surprised to see that the driver getting out of the other car is a Catholic priest. The priest says, “Faith and begorrah, are you all right, Reverend?” (What’s a joke without a little stereotyping?)

“Why, thank the Lord, yes I am,” said the pastor. “Are you all right, Father?”

“Yes, quite,” said the priest, “but looking into your eyes it seems you are still a bit shaken.”

“I suppose I am,” admitted the pastor.

“I have just the thing,” said the priest, returning to his car and bringing a flask out of his glove compartment. He gives it to the pastor who sips it appreciatively.

“I’m so sorry,” says the pastor. “I was enjoying your lovely countryside and I must not have been paying attention. I’m so glad you’re not hurt.”

“It’s quite all right,” said the priest. “It is a lovely view, and I often find my own mind wandering when I drive past here. The cars can both be repaired, the important thing is we’re both unhurt.”

“Well said, Father,” said the pastor, taking another sip from the flask. “Isn’t it amazing, here we are two members of different religions, sitting here on the side of the road after an accident, peacefully considering each other’s health instead of fighting. In fact,” he said, “here’s to your health!” taking another sip and passing the flask back to the priest. “Won’t you join me?”

“Oh, no thank you, Reverend,” the priest said. “I think I’ll wait until after the police arrive.”

George Bush says to trust him regarding Harriet Miers. Ehhh, maybe. But trust Harry Reid?

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No, I’m not about to start stamping about on Doug’s turf, but I noticed this story in today’s New York Times (free registration required). Apparently there is such a glut of French wine in the market that some quality wines are selling in supermarkets in that country for less than the cost of bottled water. To survive, French vintners are converting 150 million liters of the country’s Appellation d’Origine Controlée into ethanol to be used in gasoline.

The article cites a few reasons for this overabundance, including a crackdown on drunken driving in France, but finally gets around to this:

Mr. Gibelin’s exports to the United States are a tenth of what they were a few years ago, thanks to a strong euro and, to some extent, he says, to the American boycott of French products that followed France’s refusal to support the invasion of Iraq (his biggest market was in Texas).

France may yet have the last laugh, however:

Because France exports gasoline and one of its biggest markets is the United States, by sometime next year, some Americans may be pumping their cars full of gas that includes a bit of Chardonnay or Pinot Noir.

I guess that soon I won’t have to check just the octane rating but the vintage as well when I fill my car. With a particularly bad year it might be fun spill the gas on the ground and complain to the attendant, “You call this gasoline? Why, I wouldn’t serve this to my lawn mower!”

I don’t want to trespass on King’s turf either, so I’ll leave it to him to evaluate the effectiveness of the EU’s response:

Whatever its cause, the glut has led to ruinous price declines. A bottle of modest Côtes-du-Rhône that used to sell wholesale for about 1.20 euros, or about $1.40, sells today for 60 centimes, about 70 cents. Even bottles of fancier Saint-Émilion are going for under 3 euros apiece.

To prevent the problem from growing, the European Union has kept the acreage devoted to vineyards in Europe fixed for the last five years. There are even subsidies available for people who agree to tear up their vineyards rather than keep producing bad wine, known in Europe as plonk. France’s state wine regulator, the National Inter-Professional Wine Bureau, has also been buying up vineyard rights – in effect, licenses to make wine – and taking them off the market.

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June 14, 2005:

McCombs, speaking on a conference call from his San Antonio office, reminded reporters that all the offseason moves made by Minnesota were completed under his watch. After adding at least five new starters on defense, the Vikings could be a legitimate Super Bowl contender.

“To me, this year — this will be my team, regardless of the fact that we’re totally out of ownership,” he said. “It’s obvious that we were involved in putting this team together.”

Red,

Most of us Vikings fans snorted back in June at your all-too-typical attempt to wring another windfall out of your stint as Vikings owner. We knew the only reason the new free agent acquisitions were made was because you already had Reggie Fowler’s $20 million non-refundable deposit safely tucked into an empty Folger’s can and buried in a secret location on your ranch. As if that weren’t enough, you tried to arrange it so that all the signing bonuses for the new guys wouldn’t be paid until after the team was sold so as not to depreciate your $400 million profit.

You are, after all, the guy who wouldn’t even pay to have the central air-conditioning at the club’s headquarters repaired. And I wouldn’t be surprised to find out you smuggled your own peanuts into your owner’s suite at the Dome so you wouldn’t have to pay those high catering prices.

Nor were we shocked that when it it was time to replace Denny Green you embarked on an exhaustive, 16-hour search of possible candidates before settling on Mike Tice, the team’s offensive line coach. Tice did have one important credential, however: he was so gosh-darn excited by the opportunity to be a head coach — despite never having even been a coordinator — that he was willing to work for about one-third the going rate for NFL head-coaches. It was a match made, not in heaven, but at Sam’s Club.

For the past three seasons as the team has struggled under your ownership it was hard to tell how much of the problem was coaching and how much of it was a lack of skilled players across the roster. Of course, it didn’t help that you savored the bouquet of all those dollars you saved by staying well under the salary cap each year the way some rich folks covet a fine cognac.

But, oh, the promise of this year! Fans were overlooking, however, that your actions let Tice limp into this season as the lamest of ducks. Therefore, once Scott Linehan found out he could make nearly as much money being the coordinator for the Dolphins as Tice would make as head coach, it was impossible to attract a promising offensive-coordinator for what might be a one-year (low-paying) job. Undiscouraged, you left no stone unturned in the Winter Park parking lot in another exhaustive search and found yet another offensive line coach already under contract. Not only was he willing to take the new responsibility, but he’d keep his old job, too. I bet you loved that two-fer.

It’s not that Coach Tice doesn’t have some positive attributes. He’s much more charming and forthright than Denny Green, and while his efforts to motivate his players were mostly ham-handed, he seemed to know a bit about the game and it was hard not to root for the big lug. And, yeah the team has had injuries and played some tough teams so far. But I’ve got to draw the line on a guy who said repeatedly, “This is my team. This is the team I built,” and who now says “We’re still trying to find our identity.” Finding this team’s identity ought to be as easy for him as finding his own backside with one hand; instead it’s looking like a game of two-handed blind man’s bluff.

Red, with your used car selling background you know better than anyone else that you get what you pay for. The irony in this situation is that this is the team that you got paid for, but you were absolutely right back in June. It’s your team, Red. You’ve earned it.

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Jeff at Peace Like a River had an account the other day of a Pentagon briefing where Donald Rumsfeld openly speculated on the types of questions Al Qaida leadership might face from a similar press corps (if the Arab world actually allowed such a thing). Using Rumsfeld’s questions (in italics, below) I imagined the following scene:

(Setting: a subterranean cavern. The hum of generators powering the lights for TV cameras neutralizes the echoes of the voices of the press corps as they await the briefing. At one end of the cavern a man emerges from behind a tapestry, and approaches a lectern already set up. He is flanked by three guards. He is the senior minister of military activity for Al Qaida.)

Minister: Thank you all for coming today. Our illustrious leader, Osama bin Ladin, sends you greetings from his undisclosed location. He has asked me to speak to you today to brief you on the most exceptional progress of our war against the Great Satans of the West and our impending, glorious victory.

We are making progress. We are winning. Our enemies cower in hiding, afraid to venture outside their compounds. Their media daily broadcast the news of their defeats and the numbers of their killed and wounded. Weekly the people in America take to the streets by the millions calling for their soldiers to surrender. Our own people are so inspired by our cause that now even women and children are being pressed…I mean, are volunteering to be martyrs. As for our own leaders, the jihad is going so well that they have been permitted to take vacations in order to rest up for our final victory, so don’t be concerned if you don’t see some of them around. I am now permitted, ensha’allah, to take a few questions.

Reporter: Minister, it appears your insurgency has failed to stop millions of Afghans and Iraqis from voting in free and relatively orderly elections. Could you explain how this advances your cause?

Minister: (turns to one guard and whispers; the guard takes out a notebook and writes briefly) Those were not elections. In fact, we encouraged our brothers to take to the streets en masse to show that they are not afraid of the terroristic actions of the imperialists swine. And, of course, they did so with smiles on their faces.

Reporter: Yes, but we have reports that even the Iraqi Sunnis, who are supposedly the natural allies of the insurgents, have chosen, albeit belatedly, to energetically embrace the political process, registering in large numbers.

Minister: Look, who are you going to believe – me, or your lying eyes, for as ever long as they remain in your head? Next question. Yes, you from Islamic Week.

Reporter: Minister, can you tell us why the insurgency has failed to prevent nearly 200,000 and some 75,000 Afghans — 200,000 Iraqis and some 75,000 Afghanis — I think it’s technically 194,000 Iraqis — from joining the Afghan and Iraqi security forces, despite their very best efforts at intimidation to prevent them from joining those forces? Or why the vast majority of Afghans and Iraqis have rejected twisted ideology and, instead, are supporting efforts to build new societies? Or how you expect to succeed militarily when you cannot rely on sanctuaries in places like Fallujah or Najaf or Tall Afar to plan operations and to train recruits?

Minister: (menacingly) “Look, don’t get stuck on stupid.” (Guard writes again in notebook.)

Reporter: Um, uh, so do you have an exit strategy?

Minister: An excellent question. (Turning to a guard) Hassan, will you help our friend here exit the room? Take him down to our new media center where I can, um, explain things more personally.

Now then, I’d like to take some questions from bloggers. Any bloggers here? (A few hands go up. Guards immediately descend and remove those who raised their hands). I’m sorry, I meant to say, “I have a few questions for bloggers.” Pardon my slip. Are there any other questions?

No? Well then, thank you all again for coming. We have arranged special transportation for each of you to get you safely home. A number of cars are waiting for you outside this complex; please take them back to your cities.

Oh, one piece of advice: no smoking.

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Kind of a weird experience today. This morning I read about the Aussies who won the Nobel Prize for their work in determining that ulcers are caused by bacteria and not by stress or lifestlye. Later in the day, while looking for something else, I came across the Eye of Science web site, that had picture of the very virus in question, magnified 9,000 times.

Bakteria: Helicobacter pylori

Colored scanning electron micrograph (SEM). This pathogen of chronically active gastritis and intestinal ulcers was discovered in 1983. The bacteria are wound in a spiral shape and possess up to 7 flagella. H. pylori populates the mucosa of the human stomach exclusively. It is diagnosed by a stomach biopsy or a Urea Breath Test. Treatment of the infection involves the administration of anti-microbial substances combined with bismuth salt over the course of 14 days. Transmission of the infection seems to take place by mouth to mouth contact. Magnification 9.000 X

Beauty, eh? This is a super-cool site, subtitled “life in a microcosmic world”, that features images of tiny to microscopic bacteria, flora and fauna. Browse their galleries or visit their online store for posters and books of these images which include butterfly wings, a tick, a fruit fly, E coli bacteria and several others – 10,000 times larger than life and in brilliant color. As I said, cool!



(HT: Z + Partners Blog,.)

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