If I Ain’t Hip, Ain’t Nobody Hip

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I know everyone’s been wondering if they are as hip as I am; well now you can find out! Here’s the Strib “hip” meme, by way of Margaret.

Where do you live?
The hippest burg in the Twin Cities: South St. Paul! The long-time (and I mean long time) residents of our neighborhood know our house as the “dreamhouse”, because it was built to promote a movie starring Cary Grant and Myrna Loy called “Mr. Blandings Builds His Dreamhouse”.

With whom?
The Reverend Mother, my daddy, the small red one, Felix, Piggy-wiggy and Birdy-wirdy.

What’s your coffeehouse/coffeeshop?
Any uber-funky establishment in the St. Paul/Minneapolis area.

What’s your Sunday breakfast spot?
On the “big, comfy chair” in my parents’ room.

What sites do you surf for news?
…”I get the news I need on the weather report”…

Actually, usually from these blogs, which may give you a clue as to how warped I might be.

What’s the first thing you read in the Strib?
The comics.

What’s on your morning drive dial?
Drive105, the Cities, or K102. Yes! I do listen to country, okay!

When not in town, where are you?
Far, far away.

Who’s your local band/musician?
Me!

Where do you have season tickets?
Oh, I don’t have any, I just mooch off get invited along by people who do.

What’s your apparel store(s)?
Forever 21, American Eagle, pretty much the whole mall.

Where’s your favorite “go to” place that always seems to have just the right thing?
That would be Forever 21.

Where do you get take-out?
Peking Cafe.

What’s your bakery?
My kitchen.

Where do you mall?
America’s mall.

What do you drive?
If this doesn’t make me hip, I don’t know what does:

I drive a 93 Mercury Grand Marquis, also known as my:
old-folks car,
boat,
land-yacht,
tank.

Where are you on a Friday night?
That depends…

Where’s your gallery(s)?
My room.

Who cuts your hair? Where?
A friend I went to school with, at EQ Life.

What are you really uptight about?
Me? Uptight? Never.

What’s your substance of choice?
Chocolate.

What subjects are you a total geek over?
Who are you calling a geek?

Where do you refuel? (recharge? feed your soul?)
While playing my piano.

What’s your date night?
What date night?

What’s the most you’ve paid for a concert ticket?
Me, pay? What is this “pay” you speak of?

When you’re at your naughtiest, you…
Uhhh… I don’t know, ask my mom (and don’t tell my dad).

What’s your beauty/grooming thing?
Everything!

What’s your workout? Where?
Dance-Dance Revolution, in my basement.

Who (or what’s) the service provider you can’t live without?
Hmmm…I guess right now that would be Virgin Mobile.

What’s your favorite night?
Thursday or Friday night.

What’s the next performance you’ll attend?
I’m thinkin’ it’s going to be a dance by Uncle Ben.
The Half-time show won’t even come close to that.

What’s an arts organization you support?
My own art, I don’t have an organization yet.

What’s your nightcap?
Anything I can get my hands on.

Where’s the afterparty?
In my mind.

What’s your favorite restaurant for:
• food?
How can…

• quality?
…I pick?

• late night?
Taco Bell.

• scene?
Cafe Latte.

• impress your date?
My mom says, White Castle.

• impress your client?
I don’t know, I’ll have to ask her.

Who’s your favorite Twin Citian?
Nick Coleman, because he brings so much joy (and material) to the rest of the MOB.

Hear me now – X will be Y in 6 months. . .
Boho will be ‘so last season’ in 6 months, thank God!

He’s no Steven Seagal, but…

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Here’s some Friday fun for anyone who enjoyed Jeff’s Steven Seagal game at Peace Like a River. (What? You didn’t play? Well get on over there!) Now Portia Rediscovered is offering a funny list of the Top Ten Chuck Norris Facts.

As a sample, here are the first three things you might not have known about the martial arts star and tough guy actor whose range of expression makes Keanu Reaves seem like Lon Chaney:

1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Go, or risk defenestration!

Friday Fundamentals in Film: Spartacus

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The 1960 epic Spartacus is long and in it’s production and pacing doesn’t fare well when compared to modern films that tell similar stories such as Gladiator or Braveheart, so it might be difficult for younger viewers to appreciate. (Really, when was the last time you saw a movie that took itself so seriously as to have an overture and an intermission?). The movie does explore some key themes, however, that can make for interesting starting points for discussion on the nature of love, power, freedom, hate, sexuality, political intrigue, loyalty, and friendship.

The central theme, however, is man’s desire to live free and with dignity and the willingness to sacrifice all to achieve it. This is shown well in several scenes and with dialog that is powerful and not too preachy or long-winded. While the movie is based on a book by Howard Fast and the screen play was by Dalton Trumbo (both Communists), the movie is not as political as you might expect. While the story is about gladiators and slaves (the proletariat) trying to throw off their masters, I thought the presentation and scenes explaining what Spartacus hoped to achieve were more closely related to the Declaration of Independence than to The Communist Manifesto. Indeed, part of the irony is to consider how much of what Spartacus said and did would have resulted in the same treatment from a Communist government as what he received from the Romans.

In addition, the film’s illustration of the dehumanizing aspect of slavery without a racial element may be eye-opening for those who think of slavery as being a black and white issue only.

Of particular meaning for young men are the scenes that show that self-control is the foundation, and not the opposite, of freedom. First in his initial dealings with the woman Virinia when Spartacus refused to perform sexually for the entertainment of the guards, and in his control over the gladiator army to keep it from behaving like a drunken mob, showed that the power to do something is nowhere near as important as the power to choose not to do that thing.

Finally, the political intrigue is instructive as we watch Crassus and Gracchus manuever and manipulate others to serve their own ends, becoming the personification of two opposing political philosophies willing to mouth anything to gain power when in reality there was little difference between them. One illuminating quote was when Gracchus said, referencing the gods: “Privately I believe in none of them. Neither do you. Publicly I believe in them all.” Also, later in the movie, when Julius Ceasar (then commander of the garrison of Rome) questions Gracchus on the unseemliness of dealing with pirates and criminals and Gracchus replies, “Don’t be so stiff-necked. Politics is a practical profession.”

Points to ponder:
What is the nature of freedom; how do you get it and how do you maintain it.

Questions to answer:

  1. On two occasions Spartacus draws distinctions between being man and being an animal. What were these occasions, and how did they relate to each other?
  2. One difference between Crassus and Gracchus is that one saw the people as something to be exploited and the other saw them as something to be controlled. Which was which, and how did they go about trying to achieve their ends? What differences, if any, were there between their objectives?
  3. At the end of the rebellion, why did the gladiators all claim to be Spartacus, even though it meant death? Was their decision similar to, or different from, Gracchus’ action at the end of the movie? How and why?

Great quote:
Spartacus said, “When just one man says, ‘No, I won’t,’ Rome began to fall.”

Keep moving; nothing to see here, basketball fans

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Of all the sports I could comment on, pro basketball is probably the least likely to draw my attention. My upfront disclaimer: next to tennis I can’t think of a more boring sport. I actually have flipped over from a live Timberwolves telecast to watch a tape-delayed Minnesota Swarm (professional lacrosse) game. Nevertheless there must be some male gene that causes me to take a rooting interest in the local teams, even the Woofies.

That interest, however, can now be safely extinguished for the forseeable future. From an entertainment standpoint this team has become unwatchable. They’re too good to take an interest in them as plucky losers trying to be overachievers, and they’re too bad for me to have any hopes of seeing any sporting virtuousity unless it’s by the other team — and I don’t root for other teams. True, it has been good to watch Kevin Garnett — one of the best players of his time — play his heart out regardless of the stiffs around him, but I can’t even do that anymore because it’s just too painful to see such a marvelous player so totally wasted in the cause.

I don’t know how much of a chance the Wolves had to land Ron Artest before that headcase* ended up being traded to Sacramento, but it was their only chance to sell some tickets this year. He could have been the missing ingredient as a defensive presence and legitimate offensive option that put them into the playoffs. Yeah, his flakiness and volatility could have killed the team as well, but face it – this squad is already half-dead. Whether it dies by self-immolation or by ennui, it’s still dead. At least with him they had a chance to give their fans a little return for the big bucks they’ve shelled out to watch two-bit performances. The only appeal the team has left is the sick fascination of looking at a road accident, and we had our fill of that last year. Move along, people; there’s really nothing to see here.

* And really, Ron, you tried to veto the trade because you didn’t want to play in Sacramento? Have you forgotten that you live in Indianapolis? What, you were hoping for Milwaukee? Dude, seriously, get some help.

Conan the Centenarian

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I missed seeing this announcement over the weekend, but Sunday would have been the 100th birthday of writer Robert E. Howard, creator of Conan the Barbarian, Solomon Kane, Sailor Steve Costigan, King Kull of Atlantis and others — and instigator of countless flights of fantasy in his readers.

His characters and stories were perfect for the pulp fiction era of the 1920s and 30s, yet timeless enough to still be incredibly popular today. When a friend lent me my first Conan book in college back in 1976 I had no idea that Howard had already been dead 40 years. Often credited (and/or dismissed) as the father of the Sword and Sorcery genre, Howard had a vivid imagination perfectly harnessed to his story-telling ability (believe me, these don’t always go together). He brought a brawny, blood-thirsty virility to heroic fiction that was new to his era but every bit in the tradition of Beowulf. His heroes had red helms, not white hats, got the girl (be she queen, priestess, goddess or demon) and broke more than a few laws and skulls in the process.

Some might denigrate the genre and therefore his skills but that is because so many of his imitators have been so poor. A contemporary of Louis L’Amour, had Howard lived (he committed suicide at age 30) I’m sure he would have been as prolific and celebrated as his range-riding counterpart. In fact, his later letters and outlines showed he was branching into Western, or Texian (Howard was a native Texan) stories. I enjoyed his stories, and had no difficulty fitting them into my skull with more prosaic authors.

As a blogger, I also respect Howard’s drive and discipline. His output was prolific and prodigious, writing in his own name and under pseudonyms, and populating the pages of then-thriving publications such as Weird Tales, Argosy, Strange Detective and more. The pulp fiction of the day, and the people who wrote for it, strike me as a similar type of community to today’s blogosphere. In both eras creative people threw themselves into the new media of the day, not necessarily expecting the words to last but reveling in the joy of creation and the chance to tell a story that a few others might appreciate. They wrote fiction, we’re more into facts, but we both communicate a vision of the world. And sometimes, it’s pretty fantastic. Happy birthday, REH.

So that explains the red suit

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When I first saw the picture I couldn’t figure out why George Galloway was wearing the red bodysuit. It’s all clear to me now:


Astrid Riecken (THE WASHINGTON TIMES)

George was going to Washington to participate in the Pro-Life rally!
(Did Sen. Norm Coleman know about this?)

Who read the book to them?

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Free-speech-hating “liberals” too timid to get out and throw salad dressing or Oreo cookies at conservative speakers, or with chests too scrawny to try to shout down Anne Coulter in person, have found a new way to demonstrate that they wouldn’t understand irony if Wile E. Coyote dropped it on their heads: flood the Amazon reader-reviews section in an effort to drown out Kate O’Beirne’s book, Women Who Make the World Worse.

Captain Ed (Lefties Against Free Speech and Dialogue) and Michelle Malkin (The Amazon.com Cesspool) have covered the campaign to try to bring down the ratings of the book with fustian vitriol and a series of 1-star ratings. While some scorn has been directed toward Amazon for allowing such a tactic, with blame being laid at Jeff Bezos’ two lefty feet, I see Amazon’s tolerance (or encouragement) of this practice as being motivated by marketing more than politics.

The conservative response has already appeared on the page with several positive reviews of the book now on top of the queue that also take a few swipes at the previous, negative reviews. (No doubt to be countered with “Look, I’m being repressed!” reactions). Although it’s a new-age company, Amazon embraces the age old maxim, “there’s no such thing as bad publicity.” I’m certain that as displeased as Amazon execs might be with the content of the book, they’re going to be happy with the money conservatives send in to buy it … unless, of course you choose to show your support by buying it from someone else (let your conscience be your guide).

I’ll admit my headline for this post is a cheap shot (I bought it as part of a twelve-pack for a dollar at Learned Foot’s garage sale), because these “reviewers” obviously must be able to read. That doesn’t necessarily mean they’ve read the book itself; it could just mean they can read someone else’s talking points. It most certainly shows, however, that what is in the book frightens them and makes them afraid of it’s influence. Perhaps they’ve also read their C.S. Lewis: “A young man who wishes to remain a sound atheist cannot be too careful of his reading.”

Regardless, the campaign has the appearance, and all the subtlety, of a flock of ducks quacking up a storm in the hopes that you won’t notice the swan in their midst.

Cowboy Song

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A memorial written for another’s unborn son.

Cowboy Song
The cowboy’s found his way
to the high plateau,
where there’s blue sky above
and gold clouds below;
where the grass waves to him,
and he rides like the wind,
with a smile on his face
as if he’s never known sin.

His horse is named Mercy,
his saddle is Grace,
and he knows that there can be
no better place;
and the sound of his hoofbeats
will come now and again,
faint but familiar
like a heartbeat within.

“I know you, sweet rider,”
you’ll say in those times,
and pause in his presence,
and feel for the signs,
that there’s pain in the journey,
but peace in the end,
when the strays are all gathered
with no fences to mend.

“Cowboy, ride on,
ride free and ride wide,
gallop forever,
my heart by your side.
Though I don’t know the words
to the song that you’ll sing,
I’ll listen when it’s quiet
to the peace that it brings.

When comes the sunset,
may my faith be whole,
ride ‘cross the river
and comfort my soul.
Push back your hat,
let me see your face,
reach down your hand,
and pull me up into space.
Meanwhile from a branch
in the highest tree
a dove sings the song
that you’ve sung to me.”

– JS

Another “Weird” response

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Waaay back a few weeks ago I was tagged with the “5 Weird Things” meme and did my duty by passing it on, selecting several new MOB members to get them in on the fun. One of these was Todd, aka Space Beagle, who I thought had “spaced” the invitation because he didn’t respond.

Until last week, that is, and now one reason for the delay is readily apparent: the meme called for the taggee to list five weird things s/he does; Todd featured 16 weird habits. That, and excessive use of punctuation and emoticons, really slowed things down. I’m not sure if it was a miscommunication or a lack of inhibitions, but you should go and check it out and decide for yourself.