Laying it on the (non-binding) line

In keeping with the spirit of the times the Minneapolis City Council is the latest to offer a resolution that’s about as binding as a sackful of White Castles ingested after bar-closing — and even less meaningful. Their call for “an orderly, rapid and comprehensive withdrawal of United States military personnel from Iraq” garnered the headlines, but what was missed was what the Council did after hammering out that gripping piece of political theater.

Moving on to other important business, the Council passed resolutions calling for:

  • Great Britain to give the Falklands back to Argentina
  • The NFL to redistribute Bill Belichick to the Vikings
  • The Prairie Chicken be named the state bird of North Dakota.

These resolutions all passed unanimously. Another resolution, banning President Bush from attending the 2008 Republican Convention in Minneapolis, passed 11-0 with two abstentions. The abstentions came from members who said it wasn’t appropriate to vote on the measure because George Bush wasn’t really the president of the United States.

A final resolution, condemning the blast of Arctic air headed for Minnesota later this week, had to be tabled because of arguments arising over whether or not to call for a fence to be built at the Canadian border to keep the cold air out. In a compromise measure, the Council unanimously declared that “winter was mean” because it has a disproportionate impact on the poor and minorities.

By the time these resolutions were passed the Council was out of time and couldn’t act on an agenda item calling for withdrawing law-abiding citizens from the “quagmire” of North Minneapolis.

I totally don’t know what that means — but I got it!

Jessica Simpson didn’t have to kick me in the throat to get me to think about High Definition (HD) TV because for some time I have been longing from afar (for HD, not Jessica). The cost of HDTVs, however, made it about as likely for me to find one of these in my rec room as it was for me to have Ms. Simpson calling me from the grocery store to say she’d looked all over the meat department but couldn’t find Chicken of the Sea so would it be all right if she just made tuna casserole for dinner.

I am, however, a patient man (that sound you just heard was my wife snorting). I know that when it comes to technology you just have to bide your time and the price will come down as the “early adopters” drive the market toward the new newest, greatest thing. I learned this lesson long ago before I was even married when I paid more than $600 for a VCR with “breakthrough” 4-head technology for the highest resolution. Now my forehead is what I slap whenever I see a brand-new VCR going for $19.95 at Wal-Mart. Of course, you can fall too far behind the technology curve: I used to really want one of those thin, pricey RAZR cellphones — now companies are giving them away like Skittles and I wouldn’t have one.

Anyway, the HDTVs finally came down into the range where value and opportunity were within hailing distance, and wouldn’t you just know it happened to be right before the Super Bowl? I was able to find an HD-LCD TV with a home theater system for about half what a similar set-up cost this time last year (yes, I was looking last year, too — I told you I’m patient). At last, a big, sharp picture (to compensate for my fuzzy eyesight) and multi-channel surround-sound speakers (to compensate for my fuzzy hearing) and a huge screen (never mind) — if I could just work on my fuzzy logic.

I still had to get the idea past my wife, the Reverend Mother, who also has another title: The Finance Minister (I’m the Minister of Fritter & Waste). She’s also someone who, if it were up to her, wouldn’t even have a television and would never allow one to take up residence in the living room (except when company is coming specifically to watch something on TV). Obviously I wasn’t going to be able to make the case that this was a necessity (“Didn’t I just let you buy a TV three years ago?”) and there wasn’t time for an subtle, extended, Ralphie-like campaign (“You’ll rot your eyes out!”). That left me with … puppy eyes. Or something. I’m not sure just what it was that wore her down, and if I did know it would probably have to be kept a state secret anyway.

I raced out immediately and picked up the TV and accessories last Saturday and set to work getting everything set up in the living room (for the group coming to watch the Super Bowl). I had opted for a 32″ LCD screen based on cost, the size of the room where the TV will normally reside, and the size of our existing entertainment center. I got everything hooked up and brought my wife in. “What do you think?” I said, beaming with pride. She appeared to be underwhelmed.

“I thought it would be bigger,” she said.

Oooh, that left a mark. Not only that, but the next afternoon I was booted out of the living room right in the middle of watching Tiger Woods reel in another tournament so that she and the Mall Diva could watch a chick flick with their friends on the new TV and home theater (very “estrogenic” as the MD would say). That’s okay — it’s the Super Bowl this weekend, bay-beee!

Happy Ecker-versary

Kevin Ecker reached the five year anniversary of the EckerNet blog yesterday, which is a nearly unheard of milestone in the blogosphere considering how many bloggers don’t even make it to five months — and when you consider what the technological limitations were back then. Kevin had to do the equivalent of pounding rocks together when he started; kind of crude and ugly, but then nobody was reading blogs then anyway. Today the blog is still crude and ugly, but that’s more a matter of attitude than a problem with the design or the hosting platform.

Anyway, EckerNet is a daily (or more often) stop for the Mall Diva and I as we stop in to see who Kevin is picking on today, to view pictures of his latest gun, or to enter one of his caption contests. Visiting EckerNet is one of our favorite forms of entertainment, right up there with watching Mythbusters on TV. In fact, we see some eerie parallels between Kevin and one of the Mythbusters’ hosts, Adam Savage: they’re about the same age, size, have similar hairlines and kind of look alike. Could they have been separated at birth? Let’s examine (Kevin on the left, Adam on the right below):

The similarities are amazing:

  • Both use the motto, “I reject your reality and substitute my own!”
  • Both get paid to figure out how to blow things up. The difference is Adam Savage shows you how to do it on TV; if Kevin showed you how it’s done he’d have to kill you. (Go here for links to Mythbusters’ greatest explosions.)
  • Adam busts urban legends that “everyone knows are true” using physics, curiosity and some cool gear; Kevin blows holes in generally accepted liberal “facts” and thinking using reason, research and a lot of attitude.
  • Adam once tested the effects of a mannequin urinating on an electrified rail; urinating on an electrified rail is how Kevin wakes himself up in the morning.
  • Adam goes to great lengths to test the limits of science and knowledge; Kevin goes to great lengths to try to buy my daughter beer and test the limits of my patience.

I think it’s conclusive, folks. Add a goatee, a little reddish coloring and perhaps a bit more restraint to Kevin and you have — Adam Savage. Busted!

Stop, children, what’s that sound…everyone look what’s going down

Fairness Doctrine? What a bunch of pikers. Those who are serious about bringing back the so-called Fairness Doctrine are either flat-out ignorant or disingenous about their real motives (place your bets). To find out what they really mean, simply look to Venezuela where the darling of the American left, Hugo Chávez, has already nationalized the energy and telecommunications companies, declared — following his (un-Constitutional) third inauguration — that the country “requires a deep reform of our national Constitution” in order to become a socialistic republic and is now threatening to shut down the last vestiges of a free press.

Yet the predictable celebrity “psycho-phants” like Cindy Sheehan, Harry Belafonte, Danny Glover and Princeton professor Cornel West knock the paté out of each other’s hands as they jostle to have their picture taken with this man of the people. Presumably they do so because political dissidents, artists and academics such as themselves have historically fared so very well under totalitarian “socialist” regimes. No, wait, that’s not the reason: they love Chávez because he taunts and insults George Bush — and they hate George Bush, too, reportedly because he’s a meanie who is ravaging our Constitution and destroying free speech.

Nevertheless I’m sure Tim Robbins, Susan Sarandon and the Dixie Chicks felt a distinct chill come over them when this article by the Chairman of Radio Caracas Television (who’s livelihood and possibly his life are being jeopardized) appeared in yesterday’s Wall Street Journal (WSJ subscription required for full article).

Remote Control
By MARCEL GRANIER
January 24, 2007; Page A12

CARACAS — The president of the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela, Hugo Chávez, has verbally announced his decision to shut down Radio Caracas Television (RCTV) — our TV station, the oldest in Venezuela as well as the one with the largest audience.

So continues a long series of attacks against journalists, employees, management and shareholders of many independent media companies. The aim of all this is to limit the citizens’ right to seek information and entertainment in the media of their choice, to impede public access to those media where they might express or encounter criticism of the government or their proposals for reform, to stifle the pluralism of opinion in news and talk programs, and to cut off the free flow of information and debate in Venezuela. Instead, the Chávez government seeks to install a system that it has described, without apparent irony, as the “communicational and informative hegemony of the state.”

On June 14, 2006, President Chávez — dressed in military fatigues — gave a speech on the occasion of the delivery of a batch of Kalashnikov AK-103s to an army battalion. He brandished a weapon, then pointed it at a cameraman and said: “With this rifle, which has a range of 1,000 meters, I could take out that wee red light on your camera.” Moments later, he declared: “We have to review the licenses of the TV companies.”

In the weeks that followed the incident, various government officials repeated the same threat and started to monitor the editorial positions of the media. “There have been qualitative changes in programming, in news selection, and in the editorial line” of some media, an official observed; “[but] there are other cases in which we have not seen this change, this rectification . . .” He reminded us all that the government “has the ability not to renew a [media] license.”

On Nov. 3, 2006, a month before the Venezuelan presidential elections, President Chávez repeated his threat: “I’m reminding certain media, above all in television, that they mustn’t be surprised if I say, ‘There are no more licenses for certain TV channels.’ . . . I’m the head of state.”

On Dec. 28, 2006, President Chávez, again in military uniform, declared that the broadcasting license for RCTV would not be renewed: “The order has already been drafted, so they should start shutting down their studios.”

Apparently President Chávez is the only one who knows what is best and can be trusted to watch over what happens to the people’s resources, whether it’s oil revenues, electric power … or what they hear or see.

On Jan. 13, in his annual address to the National Assembly, he changed his tune again and said: “The transmission signal belongs to the Venezuelan people and will be nationalized for all Venezuelans.” He added: “RCTV has only a few days left . . . they can scream, stomp their feet, do whatever they want, but the license is finished. They can say whatever they want, I don’t care, it’s over.”

(SNIP)
President Chávez has violated the presumption of innocence and has denied us due process…The actions against RCTV of President Chávez and his subordinates are in violation of the Venezuelan constitution, the American Convention on Human Rights, and the Inter-American Democratic Charter. They are a clear example of abuse of power, and violate the right to work of all those in the media industry, not to mention a violation of the freedom of thought and expression of millions of citizens who seek information and ideas of their own free choice.

We are faced, in effect, with an aggressive campaign to extinguish all thought that differs from that which is officially dubbed “revolutionary.”

I added the bold-face emphasis above about the airwaves “belonging to the people” because it is also a central theme for those advocating a return to government control of what is “appropriate” political commentary and discussion of issues. Admittedly, the marketplace can be an ugly monster depending on your perspective, spawning Rush Limbaugh and Howard Stern, though in terms of ideas it has been harsher on the lefties who through incompetence, intellectual barrenness and their own corruption have failed spectacularly in attracting a paying audience.

When the market has brought forth something I’ve found to be offensive, the typical response has been “you don’t have to watch/listen to it.” I find that an emminently “fair” solution that leaves the power in my hands. No matter how ugly things might be without the “Unfairness” Doctrine, it is nowhere near as ugly or scary as putting the government in charge of deciding what I can or cannot listen to (I know, that’s kind of a “liberal” position).

The idea that the government can create a marketplace of ideas is as flawed and demonstrably untrue as the belief that the government can produce wealth.

I need a new sport



Carp, it’s that time of year again. Football is almost over and I need to find something else to do with my Sunday afternoons. Unfortunately, the local basketball squads (college and pro) are unwatchable and the hockey team is always playing late on the West Coast – and none of these are usually on on Sundays anyway.



Maybe I don’t have to watch anything; I can get outside and do stuff. Winter in Minnesota — there’s got to be something I can do.



Ice-fishing?







Yeah, that looks real exciting, and I told that guy not to put his tongue on the ice. (Photo by Jim Gehrz, StarTribune)




Oh — how about cross-country skiing?







Wee, doggies that looks like a lot of fun. Actually, it looks like a lot of work. Pass.




Maybe I could go back to Broomball. Slippery, hard surfaces and people flailing around with clubs in their hands. I don’t remember why I ever quit this game.







Oh, yeah. Now I remember.




Hey, maybe I can take up snowboarding. The Mall Diva has been wanting to try that. Why not?







Oh, that’s right, I’m old enough to know better.




You know, I really don’t like winter all that much anyway. Give me sunshine and warm breezes, or at least the chance to see these on TV. Oh yeah, I know what I want to watch:







Wake me up in May.

Just waiting: January 24, 1997

by the Night Writer
At the end we were just waiting for the practiced heart, which had betrayed him years before and now seemed to want to make amends, to finally lie back and take its rest.

Halfway across the country I listened and could still sense the beat. I also listened through the phone lines as his children gathered and told me of each regression that certainly had to be the last but wasn’t; his life force stretched as implausibly thin yet as miraculously effective as the fiberoptics that carried me into that room as they described sound and color.

Scarcely a week since I had been there to see for myself: told to hurry, and arriving to clasp the withered hand, to see the chalky color, to hear the faint voice, to kiss the papery skin, and to smell…to smell the rubber and the medicine and the institutional disinfectant…and that one scent that they seemed to want to cover up but I could still detect in the back of my throat as I stood at the bedside.

Just waiting, back at home, I stood by another bedside, listening to my wife breathe. Undressing, I fit myself in beside her, our heads touching, our arms around each other, and we talked about the great moments of one’s life — the excitement before a birthday, the joy before a wedding — and how those fall short of the momentous anticipation and anxiety of the days leading up to the birth of a child, of going to bed wondering if this will be the night that everything will change and we awaken to bring forth a new life, at once shuddering in both the hope and the dread of the joy that would be set before us and the trial to be endured. We spoke also of the hope we have in Christ, and of the days leading up to the joy/dread in some distant but nearing future when we go to bed wondering if that will be the night that everything will change and we awaken into new life.

I traced the warm, round firmness of her hip with my hand and sniffed as her hair brushed under my nose, her skin smooth and her lips soft. Still touching, we lay in our temporary cocoon and I remembered that some song describes time as a willow tree, bending over to reach the water, but I knew that the songwriter was wrong. We are the willows, and Time is the river, and we bend and it just goes on, but in that moment we laughed and I said “Naked I came into this bed, and naked shall I go out!”

And from down the hallway came the sound of the telephone. Ringing.

The Nominees are…

The Academy Award nominations were released this morning. Coincidentally, the President’s State of the Union Address is tonight. Both will garner a lot of attention today and in the days ahead. While I haven’t seen the list of Oscar nominees yet, and obviously I don’t know how the speech will go tonight, but I think both events are pretty predictable.

For the record, let me just say that I think it is important for us as a society to honor and recognize those who work so hard to play their parts, even if they are directed by others and their words written by someone else and they make tons of money with very little heavy lifting. Here, then, are my predictions for the nominees for tonight’s performances:

Best Picture: This award recognizes the person who’s picture, taken during the speech, gets the most play in tomorrow’s newspapers and blogs. The favorites in this category have to be President Bush, Vice President Cheney and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (did you know she was a woman?), simply because they get the most screen time. The edge here probably goes to Pelosi, who has better hair, though other “best picture” contenders could be of Hillary scowling or Ted Kennedy passing out face first onto his desk, but since these are familiar images they might not be as “newsworthy”. I think the winner might be a surprise candidate, such as Sen. Dennis Kucinich reading a MAD magazine, or Representative Keith Ellison reading the Koran.

Best Actor/Actress: Isn’t it archaic in this day and age to have separate actor categories for men and women? If you ask me this smacks of quotas and set asides. Why not simply recognize the best performance, based on who’s the most convincing? Expected nominees include President Bush, who will try to convince us he has a plan; Speaker Pelosi, who will try to smile and applaud as the President enters; Minority Leader John Boehner, who will try to act as if he’s relevant; and Representative Jack Murtha, who will act as if he’s actually heard what was just said. A lot of people favor Barack Obama for this award for his overall performance in appearing to have substance, but I think that tonight he’ll be playing it safe and just trying not to screw it up.

Best Supporting Actor/Actress: This award goes to person who does the best job of making the President look good, even if only by comparison. This is always a heated competition, especially in the lightweight division, where Kucinich and Senator Barbara Boxer have been the front-runners. Senator Joe Biden can also be a factor — if he isn’t too busy copying working on his screenplay. I’ve heard, however, that the Republicans are working with Fox News on some excuse to get Howard Dean into the Chamber for the evening. My money, however, is on Senator John Kerry who continues to do good work but will also garner some “lifetime achievement” support for his efforts in 2004.

Best Non-Supporting Actor/Actress: This is an unusual category but one that’s hard to ignore and that has a strong field of candidates. Nominees worth watching include the perennial John McCain, but you take your eyes off of Senators John Warner, Olympia Snowe and Chuck Hagl at your own risk. I think this will go, however, to surprise dark-horse nominee, Senator Norm Coleman.

Best Original Song, Best Original Screenplay: No nominees. Haven’t we heard it all before?

That’s all I have time for because I need to go out and buy snacks and beverages for tonight’s show now so that I don’t have to worry about being late getting to my recliner in front of the TV. I’ll leave it to others to submit your nominations for categories such as “Best Director”, “Best Animation” or “Special Effects.”

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

For a friend experiencing this in his family:

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow
That is what they say, and I’m finding that it’s true.
I’ve always taken it for granted that I would see you again;
I never could imagine there being me without you.

But this time it’s different.
This disease ravages through your whole body-
Slowly, but surely, pulling you away.
There’s no way for me to know what you’re feeling,
Or how long you are willing or able to stay.
To try and hold on to you is to cling to a shadow,
You are not mine to keep or control;
Yet still I feel hope in the gathering darkness
for the glorious light that I know fills your soul.

But what of your life?
It seems all past now, are you content?
Are you satisfied that it was time well spent-
Or do you look back with sorrow, pain and regret?

And what of the future?
Is the path that you’ve laid one you’d want others to follow?
As it winds through life’s joys and sorrows,
There’s ever the presence of hope for tomorrow.

And those of us you are leaving behind
Will rejoice at your arrival to the place we call home,
For we know that all this is just the beginning
And your journey doesn’t end in a cold, lonely tomb.
So I’ll kiss you farewell, for I’ll see you again
And til then, I’ll remember you fondly,
My friend.

— by Faith

Good news you probably haven’t heard



It’s Friday, which often means postings are more frivolous. I don’t have anything like that today, but I thought it would be fun to offer some good news.



In my day job I have come across some very heartening information about treatment for HIV/AIDS. One of the top HIV researchers in the world (and someone who has been in the front lines of this research since the early 1980s) recently summarized some of the tremendous advances and breakthroughs that have been achieved after 25 years of research and treatment. That article isn’t available for linking, but many of the details are generally available in the published research, and I’d like to share some of these here.



My purpose isn’t just to share the good news about what is happening in this particular area, but also as an “antidote” to so much of what appears in the media today that focuses on “impossible” situations, worst case scenarios and “it’ll never happen” doom and gloom (whether for political gain or out of sheer ignorance).



Anyone who has paid attention to HIV treatment over the last 25 years is probably familiar with some of the treatment challenges that originally arose: most treatments were only marginally effective; many treatments had debilitating side-effects nearly as devastating as the disease; and treatment regimens were complex and depended on perfect timing. Additionally, the cost and complexity of the drug regimens raised the possibility that patients who began but couldn’t maintain the schedule would lead to further mutations of the virus resistant to the drugs. Here’s what is happening now:



  • Effectiveness: An HIV patient that starts therapy today has a nearly 100% chance of suppressing the virus and restoring immune function (this does not mean eliminating the virus, however). HIV therapy today can almost always restore a patient’s T-cell count (the key measure of the strength of the immune system) to normal levels. This has dramatically reduced the occurence of common infections such as pneumonia, retinitis and cryptococcal meningitis, and Kaposi’s sarcoma (a once trademark affliction of HIV-infected) is now rare, as are the cancers that HIV patients were susceptible to. HIV infection today is now more predictably responsive to treatment than common diseases such as hypertension or diabetes.



  • The cure doesn’t kill: Many of the early drug treatments and their applications were toxic and often disfiguring for the people who received them. Nausea, anemia, diarrhea, confusion, kidney stones and the loss of fatty tissue in the face and extremities were common. Today the drugs have been improved and the dosages refined so that side-effects, while still present, are less common and much less severe.



  • Treatment is less complicated: Earlier treatment required handfuls of pills that had to be taken according to complex schedules. Some medications had to be taken on an empty stomach, others had to be taken on a full stomach. Today most treatment (antiretroviral) regimens are combined into just one or two pills, taken as little as once a day. It’s not only easier buy less expensive for patients because the combined pills reduce the amount of their co-pays. This also makes it easier to stick to the treatment plan, which in turn reduces the possibility of flare ups or the virus developing a resistance to the medication.



  • Growing availability: Advances in treating HIV in the U.S. gives hope to other countries that have much higher infection rates. The developments already described here make treatment in other countries more practical and realistic. Additionally a miraculous combination of political will, philanthropy and social pressure are making treatment available in places where, until recently, it was thought to be impossible. HIV medicines are being provided mainly through two efforts: the U.S.-based President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief and the Geneva-based Global Fund for HIV, TB and Malaria. These programs are supported by deeply discounted or generic antiretroviral drugs and are being used to treat hundreds of thousands of people in Africa, the Caribbean and Asia. That’s still just a small percentage of the global need, but it is significant progress.



With so much bad news reported (and celebrated) these days, I find it encouraging and inspiring that progress and breakthroughs can and do happen — even when a situation is said to be impossible and hopeless. Nothing happens overnight, but vision, integrity and focus — even by those “evil” pharmaceutical companies — are still making a better world. Happy Friday!

Why Can’t Marty Bowl?

Ahhh, yes. I made it to Keegan’s this evening in time for the first round of short-bus trivia. By the end of the first round our team (“Why can’t Marty bowl”) consisted of me, my daddy, Benny-Wenny, and Buddha Patriot. It was a close one, we tied for second with 20 points.
After that, Buddha Patriot teamed up with Andy.

Our second round as the “Knnn-iggits!” did not go so well; so to make everyone feel better, I did a magic trick. Yes, I can turn an ordinary pencil into -dun dun DUN- rubber. They were all amazed, and I was told that I was “so darn cute”! Thanks, BP.