Category Archives: Night Writer

My, what a beautiful Night

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I think the redesign of this blog is finished, unless my behind-the-scenes designer has more tweaks or alternative templates in mind. I love the clean, orderly new look (that reflects nothing of the state of my mind or my desk). Mucho thanks to my friend Tom at The Jestus Company (graphic and web design) for the much needed facelift.

You’ve probably heard that there are three elements to any job: quality, speed and affordability – and you get to pick two. I’m pleased to say Tom is a good bet to go 3-for-3. Check him out.

DFLer goes to Iraq for facts, risks becoming a statistic

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DFL state senator and blogger John Lesch of St. Paul is supposedly on his way home from Iraq after a shorter than expected, self-sponsored fact-finding trip that has earned him more than a few incredulous looks — and a couple of official butt-chewings according to an article in today’s St. Paul Pioneer-Press.

Lesch set off with a few contacts, a satellite phone, a laptop, no visa and barely any cash, making his way to Baghdad via Amsterdam and Damascus – spending some tense hours with Syrian security police before being allowed on a flight to Baghdad. Upon arrival there he was almost immediately deported by Iraqi officials before getting permission to enter the country. He’s been reporting his misadventures on his blog, Down the Rabbit Hole, but his hopes of going largely unnoticed while in country seem to have failed.

State Rep. John Lesch of St. Paul reportedly left Iraq after a lecture from an angry Iraqi official — and just a week after he flew to the Middle East to tour the war zone on his own.

Lt. Col. Barry Johnson, a U.S. military spokesman, confirmed Monday that Lesch had left, but offered no further information about where the 33-year-old, two-term DFLer was heading. Neither Lesch’s brother, Jim, nor friends in Minnesota who had been in contact with the lawmaker knew his whereabouts Monday.

But Iraqi and U.S. officials expressed their relief he had left the country the United States invaded in 2003.

“This grandstanding has no place here,” Johnson said. “Stay home.”
Had something happened to Lesch, he added, untold numbers of U.S. and Iraqi soldiers would have been obliged to endanger themselves to help him.

Mithal Alusi, founder of the Democratic Party of the Iraqi Nation, said he spoke with Lesch shortly after he arrived last week in Baghdad and quickly reprimanded him. Alusi has been a victim of violence since the invasion and has dodged several assassination attempts. His two sons were slain in January 2005. “Do you know what would happen if the terrorists took you as a hostage? Kalashnikov to your head. You with your passport, crying. And all of the world in danger. Just because of you!” Alusi recounted in an interview with Knight Ridder.

“I told him, ‘You are crazy.’ I don’t like to talk to politicians this way, but he made me very sad.”

Alusi asked if Lesch had any hobbies and said Lesch answered that he liked watching movies: “I told him you have watched too many James Bond movies.”

Alusi said that had a U.S. state lawmaker been taken hostage, it would have exhausted the country’s strained resources.

“We are so lucky he didn’t die” here, he said. “Can you imagine what will happen here? … I told him, ‘Don’t do it again!’ “

After reading Lesch’s blog posts I can tell you that he is an excellent writer — and an idiot. His account is both funny and as horrifically compelling as watching a blind child trying to cross the interstate. It will also convince you, if you had any doubts, that there is a God as Lesch constantly ran into people who went out of their way to help him out and tried to keep him alive. While he did take some precautions he largely abandoned his fate to the winds.

While the U.S. authorities have confirmed Lesch has left Iraq, no one is certain if he is indeed heading home. Given his posts so far, it is not unimaginable that he might still try to get to Mosul or Kirkuk. If I were to run into him in St. Paul I don’t know whether I’d kick his ass or buy him a beer or both, but I sincerely hope his adventure is short-lived. Better it than him.

Update:

The link to Down the Rabbit Hole has been fixed.

Update:

The PiPress has an update. According to a spokesman, Lesch will not try to re-enter Iraq and will instead spend time travelling in Europe before heading home in time for the opening of the legislative session March 1. My guess is he might run into more than a few Muslims there – or he might want to check out New Brighton.

Baby, you’re a star

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I was driving around running errands last night, pretty much tuning out the commercials as they came on the radio when the absurdity of something being advertised struck me like, well, like a falling star.

The radio commercial was advertising the ultimate romantic Valentine’s Day gift: for just $54 you can name a star after your beloved. Not that this is new, this idea has been around for some time and the ads pop-up this time of year on schedule along with the ones for beauty spa gift certificates. (Nothing shows your lady how lovely you think she is like giving her an all-day pass to a beauty spa. Why not just get her a pair of pants and say, “I thought you’d like these because they won’t make you look fat.”)

Back to the star thing. $54? For what? I mean, what exactly is the company delivering here? Just like those pork belly futures you bought, a star is never actually going to show up on your front porch (though if either should happen, run!). So what we’re talking about here is a certificate, some flowery language and a nice envelope. Dang, I know I can do that for my readers, and it would only cost you, oh, about $34.95. Sure, they throw in a “star map” and directions for finding “your” star but even Peter Pan can do that and besides, how are you really going to know? It’s not as if you’re ever going to be able to drive by and look at it, or use it as collateral on a loan.

Oh sure, they tell you your star is registered with the International Star Registry, but don’t you kind of question the jurisdiction of something that’s merely “international”? Wouldn’t you feel better if it was the “Galaxy-wide Star Registry”? Furthermore, that’s just darn right presumptous. How do we know they have legal title? What if some operation on another planet has already claimed that particular star? Are you going to have to go to court on Betelgeuse to resolve your claim?

Look, if you want to offer her some grand, intangible gesture then just tell her you had her name tattoed directly on your heart, rather than over it. If she doesn’t believe you, give her a certificate.

“I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way.”

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Who said it?

Just like in the movie, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, there’s more to the crime than meets the eye. The “cartoon intifadeh” started last week over some cartoons that appeared in European papers back in … September. Perhaps someone has been keeping the raw meat in the freezer until it was needed. Who? Who might do such a thing? And why?

The answer (or part of it) might be in this article from today’s Washington Times. The story also features a photo of another cute couple: Syrian Pesident Bashar Assad and radical Iraqi Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr.

As Jessica Rabbit might say, “Why don’t you do right, like some other men do?”

Ow! That’s funny!

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The thing that makes the Super Bowl one of the biggest social events of the year are the commercials. Yeah, a championship football game is a big deal and but it is the commercials that attracts the non-football fan to the party, or at least gives them a way to participate in the day if they’ve been dragged along. Plus we all know the big bucks that get lavished on these ads so we hope to see something really distinctive: either super funny or ground-breaking…or spectacularly bad so we can feel smarter than the people who just threw promising careers out the window.

Humor has the biggest appeal and there were several ads that were laugh outloud funny this year, but after awhile I started to notice a common thread to gags that got the biggest reaction. I’ll list these, and you see if you can pick it out:

  • FedEx Caveman

  • Hidden Bud Lights

  • Bud Light Grizzly (save yourself)

  • Michelob Ultra touch football

  • Kick Ass Scarecrow (Coke)

The pay-off on all of these is something violent happening to someone (or something). The Sierra Mist airport metal detector ad was funny, too, while merely implying an unfortunate event about to happen.I know, people have been slipping on banana peels since the days of Vaudeville, and in these commercials the gags are well set up, but it just seems as if the advertising pendulum has swung from bouncing breasts to bouncing people off of things. Chalk it up to Terry Tate, office linebacker, I suppose and a certain amount of boob saturation. That’s not necessarily a bad thing but it does make you kind of wonder why these got such big laughs (or maybe it was just the group I was with). Of this group, my favorites were the FedEx and Bud Light grizzly ads.

Best ads
The ads I thought were the best overall, however, include the commercials from CareerBuilder (chimps and jackasses) and the Ameriquest “Don’t judge too quickly” ads, one featuring a fly and a fibrillator and the other dealing with unfortunate airplane turbulence. The humor in both the Ameriquest ads revolves around social awkwardness instead of outright pain and destruction – but again we’re laughing at someone else’s discomfort. Both actually made me think of the Southwest airlines “Want to get away?” series that has been running for the past few years. My favorite ad of the day, however, was the Budweiser Clydesdale football game, this year with a “streaker” (though, like the cowboy said, “I didn’t need to see that.”)

Worst ads
I’ve been in and around the advertising business for many years, so I know that you don’t get asked to do a Super Bowl commercial unless you’ve demonstrated some serious chops. Still, I’ve got to wonder what was going through people’s heads when they approved some of these ads for this year’s game. For one, I can’t stand the weird King in the Burger King ads, probably in the same way some people are freaked out by clowns. This particular ad, with the Whopperettes dressed as Whopper ingredients was jaw-droppingly bad. Par for the course for BK, however, as they have historically had some of the worst commercials in history (anyone remember Herb?).

Likewise the Diet Pepsi can ads were overblown productions of very thin concepts. Maybe if you’re already a Diet Pepsi drinker you might enjoy seeing your little buddy mixing with celebrities, but nothing in these efforts gave me any reason to try the beverage. And don’t get me started on “brown and bubbly” – what’s the product benefit of that? Maybe if you’re selling laxitives (I told you not to get me started).

Oh well, you can review all of these ads for yourself here. Which did you like best, or hate the most?

Super Sunday report

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[Updated with photos! Scroll down.]

The Super Bowl has been a part of my life since I started playing organized sports. I missed the first two editions of the game because I didn’t know much about it. I do, however, remember my Dad delaying going out with my mother for New Year’s Eve in order to watch the end of the famous Packers “Ice Bowl” NFL Championship game against Dallas in ’67 prior to Super Bowl II. The next year I was playing youth football in the local Optimists’ league – for a team named the mini-Packers.

I watched in dismay that year as Joe Namath and the Jets dismantled the Colts in III, and lost my first sports wager the next year when my Uncle Carl bet me the Vikings wouldn’t beat the Chiefs. Since then I’ve missed watching only two Super Bowls: 1971 when my parents made me go with a church group to tour the local police stations (I was plenty upset, but it turned out to be no great loss as it was the awful Baltimore 16, Dallas 13 game) and 1979 when I was in England (even if there had been something called a “sports bar” back then they wouldn’t have been open at that hour). I also remember having friends sleeping over before VI and us calling a late-night talk show to confidently predict Dallas crushing the Dolphins (correct) — and then laughing our adolescent butts off when a later caller angrily suggested that kids shouldn’t be up at that hour calling radio programs.

I’m sure there are other memories I could dig up with a little more thought, but most of the games kind of slide through my mind in a slurry. The last 10 years or so, while I love the game, it’s been more about the people I spend it with than the teams that are playing — especially if it’s with a group of fans who know when to pay attention. Yesterday we were pleased to have a convivial and well-trained bunch over, consisting of a few friends from church and some new friends from the blogging world who I never knew existed at this time last year.

I moved the TV into the living room because it had the most sitting space and because it was handy to the kitchen and dining room where the food was laid out and the people who only wanted to see the commercials hung out. It was easy for us veteran football watchers to alert the other group to impending commercial breaks, usually setting off a mini-stampede that turned into a threat to smaller and larger children also on the premises. It was a rowdy time that left me feeling a little hungover this morning, and I wasn’t even drinking yesterday (except for about a liter and a half of Coke to chase Kevin’s salsa).

Steeler fans Policy Guy and Gal were there to discuss a fisking of Sid Hartman’s column about the wonders of all the new stadiums Michigan has paid for. I fixed a smoked brisket, while Surly and Sweeter brought a salmon log and a blue cheese mousse. There was also an abundance of bruschetta, brownies, taquitos and all manner of chips and some guacamole. (Speaking of guac, wouldn’t it have been fun if Kermit, riding his bike down the road to promote Ford’s hybrid SUV, had been run over by the Hummer H3 from the monsters-in-love commercial?)

Oh, and Uncle Ben dutifully brought his behind (and salsa) over so it could be stomped by the Mall Diva at Dance Dance Revolution. At least he did get a free haircut for his pain (from the dancing, not the haircut, that is).

First, the haircut. No blood or brain damage was seen.

Then, on to the Dance Dance showdown. At no time did their toes ever leave their feet, but the Mall Diva had an extra leg available as a back-up (one of the advantages of being the “home team”).

By the way, the Steelers won.

Things that go bump in the Night Writer blog

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I’m trying to spiff this place up a bit in time for the imminent blogiversary party. As such, some reconstruction is going on in the template.

There are a couple of hiccups when viewing in Internet Explorer, but I think overall it’s looking pretty darn good in that browser. For some reason there are more problems when viewing with Firefox. I hope by the time you read this the issues will have already been worked out. If not, bear with us; I think the changes in store will make this blog more readable (well, the words will at least look better) and easier to browse.

Update:

Cabin fever must be going around: it looks as if I’m not the only one revamping my look. The Llamabutchers have a cool new Miami Vice homage skin.

Nobody worries about upsetting a droid Christian

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I was reminded of something this morning as I thought about the loathing the secular world has for Christians compared to the fear and loathing it has for radical Muslims. Nope, it wasn’t a scripture, but a short bit of dialog from Star Wars, Episode 4 when the droids are playing holographic chess with Chewbacca.

When Chewie protests a legal move by R2, C-3PO responds:

C-3PO: He made a fair move. Screaming about it can’t help you.
Han Solo: Let him have it. It’s not wise to upset a Wookiee.
C-3PO: But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid.
Han Solo: That’s ’cause droids don’t pull people’s arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that.
Chewbacca: Grrf.
C-3PO: I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, R2: let the Wookiee win.

Hmmm, was there ever a time in any of the six movies when C-3PO had a good idea? I mean, every time the cowardly appeasing “protocol droid” suggested a course of action, or whined about someone else’s action, wasn’t it always 180 degrees opposite of what needed to be done?

That said, I’m not surprised at the U.S. State Department condemning the publication of the Mohammaed caricatures. As much as it might (might) support free speech, anything further stirring up emotions in the Mideast can’t be too helpful for the mission. Since Osama bin Laden endorses a truce, however, the concept must be acceptable to the faith. Therefore, let’s propose a truce: We’ll urge the Western media to stop using images of Mohammed (and all insensitivities to all faiths) if the Muslim media will stop producing dramatizations of the “Protcols of the Elders of Zion” and running editorial cartoons depicting Christians and Jews as devils.

Deal? I didn’t think so.

Update:

A very interesting chronology of this cartoon intifadeh over at Shot in the Dark.

Challenging Word of the Week: numinous

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Numinous

(NOOH muh nus, NYOOH-) n. adj.



Anything described as numinous is spiritual, has a sacred quality, is mysterious and awe-inspiring. Numen (NOOH mun) is literally, “nod” in Latin, related to the verb nutare (to nod, or keep nodding), and by extension came to mean “divine will” (as indicated by the nod of a god). Numen was taken over intact, to mean “divine power” or “spirit,” and gave rise to the adjective numinous, which denotes a quality that is divine, especially in the sense that it is beyond human understanding. There is something numinous in the late quartets of Beethoven. Dark forests have a numinous quality that inspires reverence and awe. The Roman satirist Juvenal (60-c. 130) wrote that if people had foresight, Fortuna wouldn’t be a goddess — she would have no numen.



This selection is taken from the book, “1000 Most Challenging Words” by Norman W. Schur, ©1987 by the Ballantine Reference Library, Random House.



My example: Violent Islamists claim to be acting upon a numinous mandate. One has to wonder, however, how much numen their god possesses if he needs their intervention to settle his scores.



I post a weekly “Challenging Words” definition to call more attention to this delightful book and to promote interesting word usage in the blogosphere. I challenge other bloggers to work the current word into a post sometime in the coming week. If you manage to do so, please leave a comment or a link to where I can find it.

Filings: Did Allah fall off the throne?

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There are countless opportunities for us right-wing fundie evangelicals to take offense and grow wroth with the culture. Television, movies, magazines, the NEA, Clinton presidencies — it’s almost as if there are elements out there deliberately looking for sticks to poke us with. Each time X, Y or Z causes an uproar, my pastor has a common reminder for our congregation: “God didn’t fall off of the throne because of X, Y, Z.”

His point is that God is still in charge and undismayed and unthreatened by such goings on, and even laughs at the thoughts and plans of men. He’ll often go on to point out that we shouldn’t be shocked when sinners sin. The reason he does this is not to say that we shouldn’t be concerned about what goes on, but to help us change our perspective to see the big picture: how do we get the revelation of God’s grace and mercy to those who seem bound and determined to test it.

With the news this week detailing the reactions of Muslims – rioting, threats of violence, kidnapping and other intimidations – to their prophet being depicted in editorial cartoons it seems that there may be a fundamental difference in the way Christians and Muslims view the power of our God. I believe a Christian perspective is to hope that those who oppose us will live long enough to see the error of their ways and repent well before a final judgment; the Islamist approach appears to be to try and yank as many as you can to judgment right away.

It’s also interesting to note that our own culture and media are willing to celebrate, in the name of free speech, crucifixes soaking in jars of urine, religious icons smeared with dung or Kanye West portraying himself on a magazine cover as the crucified Christ, yet it cowers in the face of Muslims being outraged over a few cartoons. The mainstream press and television will pull the cartoons, or pixilate them, or fire editors and reporters for running the images and claim they do so out of a desire to be “sensitive” to their Muslim audience. No such sensitivity appears to be available to Christians who, despite the fears and portrayals of many, are not generally given to violence. Meanwhile, look cross-eyed at their faith and you’d think Muslims are a bunch of frenzied liberals reacting to Washington Post ombudsman Deborah Howell whenever she departs from the dogma that Democrats have nothing to do with the Abramoff scandal. (see photos of the banners Muslim protestors are carrying here).

Okay, deep breath. God is still on the throne.

I have done things in my life that were deeply disrespectful to Christianity and Christians. I did them at the time with little fear or awareness of possible repercussions though by the standards of the rioting Islamists God had every right to strike me dead. Actually, I agree with them – God had every right and more than enough power to do just that. Instead I lived long enough to meet Him and Jesus Christ in miraculous ways and to profoundly repent. Furthermore, the revelation that I have been spared helps me to see others, no matter how offensive, in a different light, even the same light that God sees them in: “The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9)

Some Muslims (and Christians) may think that God wants us to take heathens, pagans and infidels out; I believe he wants us to bring them in.