God save the Yankees

As I mentioned earlier, I’m re-reading Mark Helprin’s most recent collection of short stories, The Pacific. One of the stories is especially apt right now as baseball’s regular season and the history of Yankee Stadium — the House That Ruth Built — come to a close. Entitled “Perfection”, the story is set in 1956 and is about a teenage Hasidic boy, Roger, who is sent by a vision from God to save the season for New York Yankees. Call it the opposite of the classic play, “Damn Yankees.”

Roger, a surviving orphan of the Majdanek concentration camp, knows nothing of baseball, but quite a bit about faith. He goes to Yankee Stadium and finagles his way in on a pre-game summer morning, bringing the following tribute from the pages of the story:

After working for half an hour, Roger was in. Not only had he found the House of Ruth, he had breached its walls without slinging a single stone or slaying a single Boabite. Gliding up a ramp in search of June daylight, he came out on the first tier near left field. Looking east toward the bladder neck of the Bronx and into the vast right-field decks rising unto the crane of his neck and topped by rows of flags and formations of lights like the radars on a cruiser, he realized that although it did not fit Luba’s description exactly — gone were the purple hangings, the maidens, the grapes — it was close. You could fill it with every rabbi in the world and you would still have room for more. He looked at rows and rows of seats as neatly folded as laundry, lacquered hard and beerproof. Remembering the oceanic sounds on Schnaiper’s radio, he filled in the crowd. In his vision of what he heard, he saw whole steppes of people whose faces were like seeds peering from sunflowers, and whose changes of position and sudden cheers were like wind sweeping high grass. Legions disappeared in the shadows, from which a roar echoed like a hurricane. How many places like this, he thought, would it take to hold six million people, and his answer, quickly calculated, was one hundred twenty. Stadiums packed with fifty thousand people could be placed in a line from down both sides of Manhattan from Washington Heights to the Battery, with no space in between, and if the souls within could break their silence, the roar would be unlike anything ever heard.

“One foot at a time,” he said to himself, with no idea why he said it. “One foot at a time.” He sighed. If only his father and mother could see him, standing in Ruth’s house, about to save the Yenkiss. They would not know of either of these things, but if only they could see him.

A young Hasidic boy in black robes and a fur hat on a hot June day had no idea how to save the Yankees, but his moving feet carried him to the rail. At the elliptical center of the field a man in a white suit stood on a barrow of dirt and would periodically throw something at two men who faced him. One of the men was in turtlelike armor, squatting. The other stood, with a weapon.

When the thing that was thrown at the man with the staff would come at him almost faster than the eye could see, he would strike at it, and there would be a crack as in the breaking of a cable, after which the thing that was thrown would fly out into the air, along varying trajectories, and land in the grass. Then someone would throw the man on the dirt a new thing, and the process would continue. Sometimes the man who held the weapon missed, and the thing that was thrown was caught by the turtle, who threw it back. Who knew? But this was baseball.

On the back of the man with the weapon was the number 7. This meant, according to Schnaiper, that he was Mickey Mental. It was a good place to start. If you are going to help the needy, help those in most distress, and those in most distress are those who have fallen the furthest. Roger was sure that it was no accident that the only thing between him and Mickey Mental, the greatest baseball player of any age (according to Schnaiper), was a hundred feet of perfectly clear air through which sound could easily carry.

This was at a time in the morning when the field was most like what a field is supposed to be, swept clocklike by golden legs of sun stilting across it as time progressed, insects busy in flight against the huge foils of black shadow. A white blur that is not mist but a condition of the light, a lost and miscellaneous glare, covered the empty stands and bleachers in which, to Mantle’s delight, virtually no one had yet appeared. And those who had come early kept as respectful a distance as pilgrims in St. Peter’s who have stumbled upon the Pope in the dry runs of investiture. Fragrant breezes from the field alternated pleasingly with cool downdrafts of leftover night air rolling off the second level like a waterfall. It was the perfect time for the great player to concentrate on the attainment of perfection in hitting the ball. To allow his gifts free rein, he needed something like the flow of a river. In the mornings, when Yankee Stadium reminded him most of the field his forebears had farmed, that river flowed best. He was deep in concentration, and doing very well, when he became aware of a distraction.

From behind, from the left-field fence out toward third base, came a kind of squeak. At first he thought it was a bird or a cricket. Then he realized that it was an imploring voice. Once every great while, coarse people got into the stadium before a game and stood at the rail calling out his name, hoping for acknowledgment, a conversation, or an autographed baseball. This he had learned to ignore.

But though he tried, he could not ignore the squeak. He screwed up his face, rested the bat against his shoulder, and held up his left hand as a signal to the pitcher to hold off. What was this squeak? He lifted his head, hand still held out, and squinted, which was what he did when he wanted better to hear something behind him. He heard the calling of his own name, after a fashion. “What?” he said, as if asking why the perfect morning had to include this.

I’ve said how much Helprin’s writing simultaneously inspires and defeats me, and I typed those words out of the book in the way a young fan might fastidiously recreate the boxscore from a great World Series game, trying to make greatness feel familiar to his fingers. As for Roger and Mickey Mental, you’ll need to read the whole story to find out what Roger had to teach “the Yenkiss” (and us) about justice, redemption, miracles and redemption. They are lessons well worth absorbing.

Another stink in the public schools?

Last week a Blaine high school student was suspended from school for 10 days for having a box-cutter, in his car, in the parking lot, while he was inside the school. A couple of weeks ago my nephew — a high-school junior who had been private-schooled or home-schooled throughout his academic career — was also suspended on his second day of public school for having a pocketknife in his pocket (upon his return the administration also confiscated his wallet-chain).

I won’t go for the easy comment about “zero-tolerance” policies in institutions that otherwise chant “tolerance” and “diversity” as sacraments (if you can even bring a sacrament into a school parking lot, that is). Lileks, in fact, has already done this to a turn.

No, what I’m concerned about is another headline I just saw:

Man accused of passing gas is charged with battery

If farting is now considered assault, the schools will have no choice but to enforce their “expulsion” policies!

Re-purposing

I’ve finally decided to do something that several people have been after me to do since I started this blog nearly four years ago.

No, not “Quit.”

The time has come, however, for me to do something different, and it will affect this blog, at least for a while. As the Mall Diva would say, “Here’s the dealio:”

I know I’m a good writer. I don’t type that in a boastful way because I know there is very little I’ve had to do with that fact. It was something imparted to me when I was born; to brag about it would be like some 6′ 6″ guy taking pride in being tall. My grandfather had the gift, my mother, myself. I’ve seen it in my daughters as well. Some people can sing, some people can paint. I can’t do either, but sometimes a song or something I see paints a picture in my mind and it comes out in words that even make me wonder where they came from.

So. I know I’m good. The question that I’ve put off asking myself, for fear that I’ll then have to try and find out the answer, is “How good can I be if I really applied myself?” Good comes naturally, but great takes something else again, and if I don’t have what it takes to be great, can I live with it? In a way, by not trying, I was indeed saying that I could live with it.

I mentioned fear in the last paragraph. I’ve been thinking about fear a lot lately. In the movie class with the boys earlier this month we watched “The Ghost and the Darkness” about the man-eating lions of Tsavo, Kenya. After the movie we talked about courage not being the absence of fear, but the mastery of fear, of acknowledging but ultimately ignoring what would seek to hold you back in order to accomplish something great. Sometimes, however — as I commented on a friend’s blog recently — fear isn’t a lion roaring in the dark; sometimes it is the sibilant hiss of self-doubt from the shadows of your own heart. Can I tell you what one of my deeper fears is? I am afraid that in my heart I am lazy, that I don’t have the will, or intestinal fortitude, to start something and stick with it, and that I’d find it all too easy to take it easy — physically, mentally, spiritually. I sense the coils of slack waiting in my heart, waiting for me to cut it for myself.

I felt like that in the months leading up to February, 2005 when I finally launched this blog. I didn’t know what I’d write about, or how often I’d write (or could write) or for how long I would do it. I set a couple of objectives for myself. I would try to post at least once every weekday, and I would do it for at least six months and see where I was at. Blogging would be a test for me to see if I had the discipline to commit to the activity and the chops to make it interesting (both for myself and whatever readers came along). I have been somewhat amazed at how relatively easy it has been, and I’ve come to enjoy the challenge of waking up every morning without knowing what I was going to write about that night. More than that, I’ve truly enjoyed and appreciated the community of bloggers that I’ve come to know (though many I’ve never actually met in person). I’ve found a rhythm and a comfort zone in blogging, and that in its own way is kind of scary.

Certain thoughts have been in the back of my mind for some time, and I let them come to the forefront while I was on vacation the last couple of weeks, and I’ve made a decision. Blogging has been a great exercise … almost like calisthenics. The thing with calisthenics is that you can develop your muscles but at some point you’re going to want to do something with them. As the Anthony Trollope quote in my header this week says, “Three hours a day will produce as much as a man ought to write.” I now know I can put two to three hours a day into writing, because I’ve been doing this and now…I need to break from the familiar and comfortable and see what else I can write.

As when I started this blog, I have no idea what I’m going to write about, or what form it will take. I think I’d like to try a novel, but I don’t have a vision for a story yet. It may be short stories at first, as the next step in my process. What I do know is that I’m going to take those two to three hours a night to work it out, and that means not writing as often here.

I’m leaving the lights on, however. I’d like to post snippets from whatever I’m working on or finished pieces as they come to me from time to time, and there may be current events that I just cannot keep from commenting upon, especially if I can do so quickly. If so they’ll be cross-posted on True North as well. And I definitely plan to keep reading (and commenting on) other blogs. I will not be a recluse. In addition the Mall Diva, Tiger Lilly and even the Reverend Mother are by no means finished. My invitation to regular readers is to sign up for the RSS feed in the right hand sidebar so you will automatically be tipped off when something new is posted.

It’s been surprisingly hard to change direction even though so little is really at stake. While I was on vacation, however, I started re-reading Mark Helprin’s exquisite, achingly beautiful collection of short stories compiled in The Pacific. Sometimes it felt as if I could barely breathe as I read, so perfect is the prose and so great my desire to try and create something similar, even as insurmountable as that may be. I also came across a reviewer who both shared my appreciation for the book and also set a target for me to pursue.

I’m not saying that Helprin’s stories always have happy endings. But they are filled with purposeful action, sharp with clear intent. The Pacific features women that are really beautiful, battles that are actually worth fighting, and melodies that can break your heart. Helprin’s prose shines because his genius has a moral compass, and it comes as a relief to read stories that do not end in existential anticlimax.

In this moment, my purpose is clear. I’m going for it.

Marriageable?

Earlier this summer I offered a series of classes to a small group of young men I know on how to be marriageable. Now Hayden Tompkins has gone quite a bit farther, publishing a “guide to getting marriage right the first time” entitled The Woman’s Relationship Bible: How I Converted a Romantic Atheist. It’s an e-book and you can download it absolutely free from her blog, Persistent Illusion.

The style is witty and easy to read, but there’s a lot of wisdom packed in there with chapter titles such as “Your Brain, The Enemy”; “Mommy Dearest”; “Pre-Marital Sex”; “Go To Bed Angry” and “Why Get Married?”.

(P.S. — guys can read it, too!)

Check it out!

Fish House Economics: bail-outs and eelpouts

I once lead a group of men up to Lake Mille Lacs for an ice-fishing weekend. Ice-fishing isn’t necessarily a thrill a minute, or even a thrill an hour. To wile away the time when we weren’t clubbing eelpout or steeling ourselves for a trip to the satellite, I devised a poker tournament.

The concept was simple. Each of the ten guys received $2500 in scrip to use for betting. At the end of the weekend we would use the scrip we’d accumulated to bid on prizes that I brought along. Scrip changed hands at a moderate rate for the first hour or so as we played conventional games such as five card draw and seven card stud. Then someone suggested a hand of “in-between”.

For those not familiar with this type of poker, it is a very simple but diabolical game that calls for very little strategy but generates huge pots and sudden betting reversals that deliver the kind of belly laughs that normally accompany watching another guy take an unexpected shot to the – umm – mid-section. The way it works is a player is dealt two cards face up. He then bets any amount up to whatever is in the pot at the time on whether the next card will be “in-between” the two cards (a card the same value as one of the first two dealt counts as a loss). Sometimes a player would get a deuce/king split and brazenly bet the pot, only to see another deuce or an ace turn up (hilarity would ensue). He would then have to pay the amount in the pot, which fattened it up significantly for the next guy who got a wide split and an opportunity to bet on a “sure thing”.

This soon became the game of choice among our group, and it wasn’t long after that before our first guys tapped out. Since it was hours until dawn and the fish were fasting, “loans” were quickly arranged from the people with a big stack to those less fortunate so everyone could continue to play. Soon enough, the once wealthy were borrowing from other players as well so everyone could “stay in the game.” Some effort was made to keep track of who owed what and to who, but it rapidly became so convoluted as to be impossible.

By the time we were ready to leave, even the guy who had the biggest stack at the end still owed many times that to other players, who themselves owed many of their neighbors. As we tried to reconstruct the transactions I got the idea to add up all the “loans” that had been passed around. Even though there was still only $25,000 in actual scrip, the total of all the loans was easily more than ten times that. The only way we could have settled every thing was for me to go back into town and hit the Kinko’s to photocopy more scrip!

I don’t know what made me remember this story.

The Crappe-Whisperer

One of the people I always look forward to seeing at our annual Inside Outfitters men’s fishing weekend is big Don Steele. Don is originally from Jamaica and still has his delightful, lilting accent to go along with being one of the nicest guys you could ever meet. His, “Heeey, Brudder John!” greeting is one of the things that keeps me coming back. Next to God and his own wife and family, Don’s passion is fishing and he appears to have a special gifting for finding and catching messes of crappe. This year was no exception as he caught 20 crappe Friday night, then went out with a fresh stringer Saturday morning and came back with another haul (see photo).

I met Don seven or eight years ago at one of our outings. The first time I saw him he was hauling a long fat stringer full of crappes from the dock to his cabin, looking more than a bit like a Jamaican-piscatorial version of Santa Claus. It later turned out that his cabin was also my cabin, which we were sharing with three or four other guys. I took the couch in the main room/kitchen of the cabin to sleep on, while Don bedded his crappes down — still alive — in several rubber tubs of water in the refrigerator.

I was used to the sounds of snoring, but it was hard for me to tune out the near-constant crappe-flapping coming from the frig 10 feet away. I opened one eye when I heard the slapping sound of Don’s bare feet on the tile floor, in time to see him illuminated in the refrigerator light as he opened the door and leaned in. St. Nick-like he raised his finger to his face, placing it on his lips rather than the side of his nose. “Shhhhh,” he whispered. “Peeple be sleepin’!”

My belly still shakes like a bowl full of jelly when I think of this, in part because of the absurdity of the scene, but also because his admonishment worked!

Hmmm, it’s September 19, I wonder what that means?

Yo-ness, oops, I mean, AAARRRGGGHHHAAA!!!! It’s (argh) National (argh) Talk (argh) Like (argh) A (argh) Pirate (argh) Day!!!!

Batten down the hatches! And yer sister! And any Bens that might happen to be wanderin’ around….

We’re about to go get some grub, and I’m sure there will be an opportunity to make ol’ Peg Leg (my Dad) right proud. Aye!

So go out there and be piratey! Yell ‘Avast!’ at each passing person! Scoff at their weird looks! Buy a sword and swing it about! Sail the seven seas! Don’t get caught by the police! Aah, so many pirate-ish things to do, not enough time.

Remember, people, this only comes around once a year, so make the best of it!

Ciao for now!
Wait…
Argh, do something productive and walk the plank!!!

Experts from afar

I’m still on vacation and resting up right now for the final leg of my break, the weekend fishing trip. I won’t be at Keegan’s for Thursday night trivia, but I’d be remiss not to mention that last Thursday the Women of the Night, Uncle Ben and myself pitted our store of semi-useless knowledge against all comers at Sven & Ole’s weekly trivia competition in Grand Marais. Had Ben and I been able to reach consensus on which U.S. president had the longest retirement (we were going back and forth between Ford and Hoover, we picked Ford and it was Hoover) we’d have likely finished first. Our team, The Out-of-Towners, finished second.

The scoring format was different from Keegan’s, and the questions were pretty arcane (local knowledge would also have been helpful), but the biggest difference between Sven & Ole’s and Keegan’s is that second place is worth a $50 gift certificate! Sure, it’s for Sven & Ole’s which isn’t that handy, but it’s good indefinitely. If we don’t loose the gift certificate in the meantime we’ll use it in our next trip to Grand Marais. Either that or it might make a great White Elephant gift at the holidays, or my wedding present to the Mall Diva and Ben!

The 5-hour tour hike

After logging off at Neptune’s Cyber-cafe in Grand Marais yesterday I walked around the harbor area enjoying the sights and the sunny fall afternoon. I’d have taken some photos but the camera went with the girls and Ben on the hike along the Cascade River and up Moose Mountain. That didn’t keep me from “snapping” some shots into my memory of small boats bobbing on the water and the slower pace of commerce during an weekday in the off-season. At one point, however, I looked out to the lake and suddenly realized that fog had arrived, not on little cat’s feet, but like an invading continent about half-a-mile out and moving steadily inland. Other than knowing that Lake Superior weather can change quickly and dramatically, I wasn’t sure what a sudden fog might entail, but I thought I might soon have some wet hikers on my hands so I headed out to the rendezvous a little ahead of schedule.

All was well, however, as their six-mile, five-hour hike up the mountain hadn’t taken as long as they expected. They, too, had seen the fog move in and climb up through the forest. Rather than wait for me at the pick-up spot they had gone to the restaurant at Cascade Lodge, about 100 yards from where I was waiting for them. We eventually hooked up, and they showed me photos from their hike.

The terrain around Lake Superior is rugged and dramatic, as the rocks try to stand against the combined forces of water and gravity.

Apparently there was lots of lovely scenery as well.

Girls in the trees.

Hey, that’s an interesting mushroom. I wonder what it might taste like.

Mmmm. Tastes interesting, too. Oh, calm down…what’s the worst that can happen?

Hey! (Photos by Uncle Ben.)

Sisters.

The Reverend Mother on the rocks.

Mall Diva and What’s-His-Name.

This fog comes in on moose feet.

Home safely in time to view Superior by moonlight. (photo by Tiger Lilly)

Vacation photos, greetings from Duluth

Friday morning, Grand Marias. The Reverend Mother, Tiger Lilly, Mall Diva and Ben have set off on a five-hour hike. There’s no wi-fi on the Cascade Trail, however, so I can’t “live-blog” the hike. Therefore I left them at the trailhead and “hiked” myself to the cyber-cafe. Having hiked with this group before, however, here’s a sample of the conversation:

Tiger Lilly: There’s a boulder!
Mall Diva: That’s a niiice boulder.
Rev. Mum: I need to find a potty.
Ben: Take your pick of any tree.

Personally, I don’t do five-hour hikes unless there’s a golfball involved. You’d think the girls would have figured this out by now, and brought golf balls along. Then they could just throw a golf ball out ahead and I’d take off after it like a Labrador. Don’t tell them.

Anyway, I have an opportunity to upload some photos of our vacation so far. After a late getaway Wednesday afternoon (when you’ve borrowed a minivan you simply can’t leave until every available inch of space has been filled with indispensable supplies) we were as far as Duluth by dinner-time. That’s okay, Duluth is one of our favorite places, especially around Canal Park. Evening light is also great for taking photos. The hikers have the digital camera today, so photos from Grand Marias and vicinity are yet to come.

A couple shots of the Duluth canal lighthouses.

The Mall Diva and Ben gaze out over Lake Superior, perhaps wondering if it’s even as big as their future together.

Hmmm. Birds are flying south, leaves are beginning to turn, there’s a nip in the air. That can only mean…it’s wrist-sweater season!

A meditative moose.

A couple of years ago the ACLU threatened to sue Duluth because there was a 10 Commandments monument in front of the courthouse (donated by the Fraternal Order of Eagles back in the 1950s) on public land. The monument was then purchased by private interests and now sits on private land — where you can still visit them and, perhaps, even read them! Living by them is still up to you.