Wondering Where the Lions Are

I had another dream about lions at the door
They weren’t half as frightening as they were before
But I’m thinking about eternity
Some kind of ecstasy got a hold on me…

— Bruce Cockburn, “Wondering Where the Lions Are”

I’m a few minutes from sleep yet, but this song comes to me tonight. It’s been some week. On my last post, the one with the picture of a shark flying out of the water, Hayden asked, “Shark Week?” To which I replied, “Yes, and I’m wearing sealskin underwear.”

Last Friday I had a meeting with our CEO who told me our business was heading into an interesting week. I’m guessing that most people’s jobs, when they get “interesting” probably don’t involve the media. My job, however, does and it turned out that two unrelated events were heading our way that the local and even national press would find hard to ignore. Neither were pleasant, and neither were a shock, but it was surprising for them to fall in such proximity to each other. My job as well is two-fold: messages for the media and for our employees — and only one of those two groups enjoys bad news.

One, of course, was layoffs. It was almost a relief for the crew, however, as folks had known it was coming and it had been stressful for many while waiting to find out how bad and how deep, while calculating one’s own prospects to stay or go. Even if you were relatively safe it’s hard not to ponder what you’d do while hurtling toward the inevitable. It was a sobering week, though our portion of the business was relatively unscathed. Still, we’re a small group and even a few losses are felt; no one is nameless or faceless. Even if the cup passes you by it’s hard not to think of the individuals and families involved. It does tend to focus you a bit, especially if you think, “What if it had been me?”

Same with riding in a crashing airplane. The news today of a US Airways jet taking off from LaGuardia and ending up in the Hudson River — miraculously without loss of life — is the type of story that you can’t help but picture yourself belted in and, again, hurtling toward the inevitable, with only moments to review your decisions, regrets and priorities. Now there’s no time to change anything, barely time to pray, and yet how heavy some choices must be as they seem to drag across your mind. “If I get out of this…” you might think. Then what? I thought, this afternoon after reading the news, of the time on that Iowa highway in the winter white-out when I moved to the left and the semi-truck careened through those on the right, taking others but not me. Changes were made, and here I am, the man I am today.

I had another chance. Those on the airplane today have another chance. Those in my office, whether staying or departing, each will have another chance, though it may come to us in different ways. Rather than be scary, or depressing, it becomes stimulating, even after the adrenaline fades and only clarity remains. And then the words of another Bruce Cockburn song come to my, and I can smile.

Don’t the hours grow shorter as the days go by
You never get to stop and open your eyes
One day you’re waiting for the axe to fall
And next you’re dazzled by the beauty of it all
When you’re lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time

These fragile bodies of touch and taste
This vibrant skin this hair like lace
Spirits open to the thrust of grace
Never a breath you can afford to waste

When you’re lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
When you’re lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time

When you’re lovers in a dangerous time
Sometimes you’re made to feel as if your love’s a crime
Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight
Got to kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight

When you’re lovers in a dangerous time…

We’ve got some daylight coming to us. It may take awhile, but it’s coming. Be ready.

Atlas shrugged, and smiled a knowing smile

I was talking to my sister-in-law the other day and she said her husband, who’s been at his job for more than 20 years, has been bumped back to the night shift by someone with even more seniority. “I’m trying to keep a good attitude about it,” she said, “because, after all, at least it’s a job.”

“You’re right,” I replied. “Jobs are important; only 9 out of 10 Americans have one.”

All right, I can be an incorrigible smart ass, especially around family, and that’s a trait that has barely mellowed over the years. Even I’ll acknowledge, however, the gathering economic storm building overhead as if the country were one large trailer park. My sense is that things are going to get worse before they get better and that this is no mere hiccup but more like a full-on bulimic purge. To keep mixing my metaphors, Dylan once said “You don’t have to be a weatherman to know which way the wind blows,” and my “forecast” doesn’t require a special degree or even a Doppler. In fact, if you’d spent time in college reading “Atlas Shrugged” by Ayn Rand you could probably do the same. As the current winds increase it might be interesting, if not all that helpful at this point, to head for the basement with a copy of her book.

Stephen Moore made a similar point last week in an opinion piece in the Wall Street Journal entitled “Atlas Shrugged: From Fiction to Fact in 52 Years”. In it he points out frightening prescience of this all-time classic.

For the uninitiated, the moral of the story is simply this: Politicians invariably respond to crises — that in most cases they themselves created — by spawning new government programs, laws and regulations. These, in turn, generate more havoc and poverty, which inspires the politicians to create more programs . . . and the downward spiral repeats itself until the productive sectors of the economy collapse under the collective weight of taxes and other burdens imposed in the name of fairness, equality and do-goodism.

In the book, these relentless wealth redistributionists and their programs are disparaged as “the looters and their laws.” Every new act of government futility and stupidity carries with it a benevolent-sounding title. These include the “Anti-Greed Act” to redistribute income (sounds like Charlie Rangel’s promises soak-the-rich tax bill) and the “Equalization of Opportunity Act” to prevent people from starting more than one business (to give other people a chance). My personal favorite, the “Anti Dog-Eat-Dog Act,” aims to restrict cut-throat competition between firms and thus slow the wave of business bankruptcies. Why didn’t Hank Paulson think of that?

These acts and edicts sound farcical, yes, but no more so than the actual events in Washington, circa 2008. We already have been served up the $700 billion “Emergency Economic Stabilization Act” and the “Auto Industry Financing and Restructuring Act.” Now that Barack Obama is in town, he will soon sign into law with great urgency the “American Recovery and Reinvestment Plan.” This latest Hail Mary pass will increase the federal budget (which has already expanded by $1.5 trillion in eight years under George Bush) by an additional $1 trillion — in roughly his first 100 days in office.

The current economic strategy is right out of “Atlas Shrugged”: The more incompetent you are in business, the more handouts the politicians will bestow on you. That’s the justification for the $2 trillion of subsidies doled out already to keep afloat distressed insurance companies, banks, Wall Street investment houses, and auto companies — while standing next in line for their share of the booty are real-estate developers, the steel industry, chemical companies, airlines, ethanol producers, construction firms and even catfish farmers. With each successive bailout to “calm the markets,” another trillion of national wealth is subsequently lost. Yet, as “Atlas” grimly foretold, we now treat the incompetent who wreck their companies as victims, while those resourceful business owners who manage to make a profit are portrayed as recipients of illegitimate “windfalls.”

I’ve been thinking about re-reading the book, especially since I’m sure I’ll understand it a lot more than I did 30-some years ago, but I’m concerned that I’ll get too angry (again) over the treatment of the individual in the story … and by the creeping sense that there’s nothing one can do to keep it from happening in real life. Of course, in the book, one man — the right man — can make a difference.

Ultimately, “Atlas Shrugged” is a celebration of the entrepreneur, the risk taker and the cultivator of wealth through human intellect. Critics dismissed the novel as simple-minded, and even some of Rand’s political admirers complained that she lacked compassion. Yet one pertinent warning resounds throughout the book: When profits and wealth and creativity are denigrated in society, they start to disappear — leaving everyone the poorer.

One memorable moment in “Atlas” occurs near the very end, when the economy has been rendered comatose by all the great economic minds in Washington. Finally, and out of desperation, the politicians come to the heroic businessman John Galt (who has resisted their assault on capitalism) and beg him to help them get the economy back on track. The discussion sounds much like what would happen today:

Galt: “You want me to be Economic Dictator?”

Mr. Thompson: “Yes!”

“And you’ll obey any order I give?”

“Implicitly!”

“Then start by abolishing all income taxes.”

“Oh no!” screamed Mr. Thompson, leaping to his feet. “We couldn’t do that . . . How would we pay government employees?”

“Fire your government employees.”

“Oh, no!”

Abolishing the income tax. Now that really would be a genuine economic stimulus. But Mr. Obama and the Democrats in Washington want to do the opposite: to raise the income tax “for purposes of fairness” as Barack Obama puts it.

David Kelley, the president of the Atlas Society, which is dedicated to promoting Rand’s ideas, explains that “the older the book gets, the more timely its message.” He tells me that there are plans to make “Atlas Shrugged” into a major motion picture [A younger Glenn Close would make a dynamite Dagny Taggart, IMHO. NW.] — it is the only classic novel of recent decades that was never made into a movie. “We don’t need to make a movie out of the book,” Mr. Kelley jokes. “We are living it right now.”

Catching the Ghost Train to Hawaii

It’s six fargin’ degrees below zero as I trundle to the light rail station tonight. I’m bundled up in “Big Blue”, my below-the-knee length parka lined with down, thinsulate and cashmere, and a collar that zips up under my nose, and I’ve got on ear-muffs and a woolen hackers cap from Ireland. Big Blue also has a hood which I seldom use because I think hoods on coats make you look like you’re in third grade, or like you’re a dork, or a third-grade dork, which may be the dorkiest of all. In this cold, however, I have no shame and I also figure no one can recognize me with the hood pulled up over my cap and ear-muffs and fastened in front of my face anyway.

In this kind of weather I board at the LRT’s terminus in the Warehouse District because there’s almost always a train waiting there to start its run and it’s nicer to wait in the train car rather than waiting for it a couple of blocks farther down the line. Tonight there is a train waiting, but when I try to get on the doors won’t open. Then the driver speaks over the PA: “This train is not in service.” It looks plenty serviceable to me, especially when it departs — empty — a few moments later. There is no other train in sight at the moment as the lights of the Ghost Train disappear toward the Nicollet Mall where it will no doubt tantalize other commuters before leaving them in the cold as well.

With the train’s departure, however, I now have an unobstructed view of the front of a bar called Sneaky Pete’s, immediately on the other side of the track. The front of the establishment features large plate glass windows and on one of the windows, positioned immediately under a neon Blue Moon Brewing Co. sign and hard up against the window, is a large flat-screen TV, facing the tracks. No one in the bar could possibly watch this TV, but people outside can. The TV is tuned to The Golf Channel, and it is showing scenes of PGA pros in their short-sleeve golf shirts practicing at Waialea Country Club in Hawaii for this week’s Sony Open. I watch slack-jawed, with frost from my moustache thawing and dripping onto my lips, as Anthony Kim and Geoff Ogilvy and others roll puts across a High-Def green that could be called emerald green if emeralds took steroids, and just looking at it makes me wiggle my toes deep inside my mukluks.

Somehow the January wind starts to feel softer and, I swear, I think I can smell coconut oil wafting toward me on it. The angle of my shoulders, until now hunched up against my neck, drops by about six degrees and I loosen the hood and lower the zipper at my neck a couple of inches as I eye a bunker shot from a beautiful white sand hazard. No, wait, it’s really a snow bank as the clanging bells of the approaching train take me out of my reverie.

Is it too early to get my clubs down out of the garage attic?

Ozymandias Shrugged

Back when Dennis Miller was one of the undefined on Monday Night Football, ABC found it necessary after games to post explanations of the eclectic comedian’s erudite references on the MNF website. I was reminded of this after yesterday’s Day by Day cartoon featured a lonely statue of Al Gore in a snowy wasteland, with the words etched on the pedestal mostly obscured by snow drifts. Nevertheless, the words that were visible may have rang a bell in a seldom-used hallway of my mind. Ah, yes … Shelley’s “Ozymandius”, the sonnet dedicated to the hubris of Man, though Ozymandius’s statue was located in a desert waste instead of a snowy one. Oh well, with a high temperature forecast for tomorrow of -2F here in Minnesota, the comic gave me a warm feeling.

Here’s the unobscured text of “Ozymandius”:

Ozymandias
I met a traveller from an antique land,
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read,
Which yet survive stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal these words appear:
‘My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my works. Ye Mighty, and despair!’
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Reasons for blogging

I think the poem below pretty well sums up why I write — blogging or otherwise. From The Writer’s Alamanc today:

VII
I would not have been a poet
except that I have been in love
alive in this mortal world,
or an essayist except that I
have been bewildered and afraid,
or a storyteller had I not heard
stories passing to me through the air,
or a writer at all except
I have been wakeful at night
and words have come to me
out of their deep caves
needing to be remembered.
But on the days I am lucky
or blessed, I am silent.
I go into the one body
that two make in making marriage
that for all our trying, all
our deaf-and-dumb of speech,
has no tongue. Or I give myself
to gravity, light, and air
and am carried back
to solitary work in fields
and woods, where my hands
rest upon a world unnamed,
complete, unanswerable, and final
as our daily bread and meat.
The way of love leads all ways
to life beyond words, silent
and secret. To serve that triumph
I have done all the rest.

“VII” from the poem “1994” by Wendell Berry, from A Timbered Choir: The Sabbath Poems 1979–1997. © Counterpoint, 1998.

Please, don’t anyone tell Richard Simmons

While my passion for the NFL and Fantasy Football have waned a bit, my love for golf remains strong and I’m looking forward to warmer weather and being able to play again.

I’ll still enjoy it even now that I know it’s good for me.

I came across this story the other day about a study that showed some surprising results in the amount of calories a golfer burns over nine holes.

Among the top findings: Given the number of calories burned, it’s certainly fine to call golf a sport.

“One of the more interesting things I found was that the actual act of swinging a golf club takes significant energy,” said Neil Wolkodoff, director of the Rose Center for Health and Sports Sciences in Denver.

Maybe more energy than many people might think for a motion that takes a grand total of about three seconds.

Wolkodoff found eight male volunteers, ages 26 to 61 with handicaps between two and 17, strapped them into some state-of-the-art equipment and took them out for a few rounds of golf on the hilly front nine of Inverness Golf Club in suburban Denver.

Wolkodoff discovered the subjects burned more calories when they walked and carried their clubs (721) than when they rode in a cart (411). When they walked, they traversed about four kilometres, compared to a kilometre when they rode, but the 400 per cent increase corresponded to only a 75 per cent increase in calories burned.

The conclusion was that the act of swinging the golf club could actually be considered good exercise – a theory many on the “not a sport” side of the golf debate have long questioned.

“As far as physical exertion, it’s not the same as boxing, but it’s definitely more than people thought,” Wolkodoff said.

Wolkodoff’s golfers played four, nine-hole rounds; one round each of carrying their clubs, pushing a cart, using a caddie and riding a motorized cart. Among the interesting findings was that there is virtually no difference in the number of calories burned when carrying your clubs (721) or using a push-cart (718). I like that since I use a push-cart myself.

“The study shows there’s significant energy expenditure in golf, more than bowling and some other sports it’s been compared to,” Wolkodoff said. “There are a lot of sports that don’t have this level of energy expenditure.”

Of course, whatever benefit I get is likely offset by whatever I choose to guzzle while “re-hydrating” after a round, but at least now I can see there’s a big difference when “grabbing a quick nine” refers to golf holes instead of doughnut holes.

Hey, Mr. Fantasy…

Well, the Vikings are through for the year — only one week later than expected — and I watched 15 1/2 of their games this season. Not a bad percentage for a football fan, I suppose, but what I find somewhat amazing is all the non-Viking games I didn’t watch this year.

I used to catch about half of each Sunday night game and most of the Monday night games, while also intently following NFL news via ESPN, Sports Illustrated and several websites. This year I don’t think I tuned into a single non-Viking Sunday night game and saw maybe one half of one Monday night game. Meanwhile my Sports Illustrateds would lie around for a couple of weeks before I got to them and I never used my ESPN Insider access.

Time to cue the Invasion of the Body Snatchers music?


“Come on, ref, he was out of bounds!”

Not really. It’s just that a little more than a year ago I decided that I was going to “retire” from Fantasy Football after 23 years as an owner and Commissioner. I felt a few mental twinges during the NFL pre-season this year when I felt like there was something I was supposed to be doing, but that wasn’t unexpected. Hey, there’re still times when late summer/early fall roll around where a certain smell in the air or texture of the earth makes me think I should be at football practice, and that’s been more than 30 years!

So, this year, there was no draft to prepare for, no off-season free-agent transactions to review, no clever team name to develop (I came up with a new name every season; my all-time favorite was Weapons of Mass Distraction, though the Rush Limbos was up there as well). The would-be draft week came and went and the NFL season started. The first shock of revelation came to me when I was discussing the season with someone at work and I said that we were only a couple of weeks into the season and it was too soon to panic. To which my friend replied, “Uh, it’s week eight.” Oopsie.

Weeks 13-16 went by like any other for me this year, though this was typically the fantasy play-off season. Today was the first day back at work after the Christmas/New Year’s break and the day I’d usually be collecting outstanding league fees from the slow-payers, or passing out cash to the winners — or looking forward to taking my own winnings down to Best Buy.

And you know what, I don’t miss it a bit. It was strange how easily my quest for knowledge regarding rookies, injuries, sleepers, busts and dark horses melted away. I still enjoy watching the game, but most of the games don’t interest me enough to re-arrange my life appreciably. Now when I see that some player has scored four touchdowns in one game — or suffered a season-ending injury — I don’t exult or scream (if it was one of “my” players) or think of sending a gloating “sympathy” email to my fellow-owner who’s starting wide receiver just shot himself in the leg.

Well, maybe I do miss that part a little bit.

A proper cup of coffee



Brrr. On these cold days we’ve been having I really appreciate a nice, hot cup of coffee. I will also admit that my coffee tastes have become more refined in my latter years. I actually didn’t become a coffee drinker until I was in my 20s and a girlfriend got me started. She also gave me my first gravity filter for brewing coffee, which is still my generally preferred method. Our all-time favorite method is using a French press, but this is for special cups or occasions as it’s a bit messier to clean up after — ah, but the taste! There’s simply no way to get a richer tasting cup of coffee.



I tend to favor the darker roasts though my wife likes to mix in the lighter roasts as well. The Mall Diva goes for the much lighter blends, or “wienie” roasts as I call them. Nevertheless, we all love “A Proper Cup of Coffee” as performed by Trout Fishing in America in the video below (don’t worry, the Abba album is just one of the visuals and not part of the performance).



Enjoy!