Hey, everyone! Sick of hearing about my birthday, yet? Remember, only 361 days until my next one!

My week was a blast; what with winning trivia, Sock Wars, dresses and presents! I especially liked Sock Wars, where several friends I hadn’t seen in a while showed up. For Keegan’s, though, my memory is a little bittersweet because I really wanted Marty to sing me Happy Birthday, and he didn’t show his face all night. Coward. But, I did get a cigar as you all saw in an earlier post.

Saturday was dress-up day, and we ate cake and opened presents. Even Felix fit right in for this occasion, as he always wears a tuxedo. I decided to put a bow on him for good measure. Isn’t he cute???

We also played a game that Surly Dave taught to us. We have decided to call it “The Spanish Inquisition!” It’s a bit like 20 Questions, but played in a larger group. One person is “it”, and they have to leave the room while the group decides on something to do or be. Then the “it” person comes back and has to figure out what the group has decided by asking yes or no questions (there is no limit in this game). Well, one round I was “it”, and I must be very hilarious, because the whole group was busting a gut at my questions while I was utterly confused. They were so mean to me! What I didn’t realize was that the thing I had to figure out was that everyone wearing glasses had to answer “yes” to every question, regardless of whether or not it was true, while everyone not wearing glasses could tell the truth. There were three bespectacled people sitting in a row, so I’d ask questions of the first two, hear “yes” and then I’d think I knew the solution and I’d ask the last one, my uncle, if the answer was such-and-such. He’d say “yes” but no one would celebrate so I’d ask the next person (no-glasses) if I’d won and she’d say “no.” I had to put my head down a lot, because it hurt. Sound like fun?

But anyway, I had a very good birthday. Now I am older and wiser. I feel older because Sock Wars made me sore; and I am wiser, because I know I need to stretch first next time.

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Day three of the party action and it’s time to shift gears to more grown-up things: a formal tea party. And yes, time for the great birthday dress unveiling!

Wow! What a day! It’s even more fun than this tea par-tay!

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Since most of Sock Wars took place in the dark (or very low light), photography opportunities were limited. About midnight, however, we stopped the games and started to clean up. Something strange seemed to be happening, however …

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The Mall Diva’s Golden Birthday Tour kicked off one day early with a stop Thursday at Keegan’s for Trivia Night and so her “peeps” could pay tribute.

Our team, appropriately named “Golden Birthday” and consisting of the Diva, myself and Kevin Ecker, finished in a four-way tie for first with 19 points. We would have won outright if MD, our licensed beautyologist and fashionescenti had known the name of the new J-Lo cosmetic line. Oh well, here’s our traditional victory token:

Once the important business was out of the way – it was time for presents! A couple of “Old Stogies”, David Strom and Margaret Martin, presented the Diva with her very own cigar, a Black Pearl! (Andy is upset in the background because he forgot to bring a present).

No matter. Andy figures that while the Diva is still too young to drink beer, there’s no law against her wearing it. (Kevin not only forgot to bring a present, he also forgot to pick up a beer to pour.)

For Friday night, on to Sock Wars!

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My dad said, “post something to keep the homefires a-burnin’!”
Like he can just take the rest of the summer off and make me do this instead.

As I stated before: I am lazy. For today, at least. Thus I instigate (dun dun DUN) an open thread! Cool beans! If you’ve never posted a comment on the Nightwriter blog before, I dare you to. To all you regulars- Welcome back! I’ll think of something to start with.

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Oh, I’m ready for it
Come on, bring it.
Oh, I’m ready for it
Come on, bring it.
Oh, I’m ready for it
Come on, bring it.
Oh, I’m ready for it
Come on, bring it.

So kiss me goodbye.
Honey, I’m gonna make it out alive.
So kiss me goodbye.
I can see the (tubesock) in your eyes.
Goodbye.

So my dad kinda has this strange idea that “Snakes on a Plane” somehow corrolates with Sock Wars.

What is this “Sock Wars”, you ask? I’ll tell ya.

It’s basically like capture the flag, but you chuck socks at each other instead of a ball; the two teams’ home bases are artfully piled mounds of cardboard; and the flag is a glowstick instead of a flag, because it is played in the dark.

The War starts on *August 18th.

Think that you can handle it?

If you’re interested, talk to my peeps using the contact info.

*Part of the b-day festivities!

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I know that all of you have been eagerly awaiting the premiere of the show that I described in this post a while back.

“Instant Beauty Pageant” (Mall of America episode) will apparently be airing this weekend on the Style Network, which is on Comcast and Dish Network in the Twin Cities, but not DirectTV. It broadcasts this Friday at 10 p.m., and again at 1 a.m., 8 a.m. and noon on Saturday. Yet again on Sunday at 11 a.m., 9 p.m., and Monday at 12 a.m. and 12 p.m. (all CST).

Gosh, I wonder if anyone will see it?

I was an innocent bystander working at one of the shops the crew visited, and they snuck up on me with the camera and lights. I don’t know if I’m in the show or not, but keep a look out for the dark-haired girl with eyes bigger than a deer’s in headlights.

PS: Just twenty-four more days!

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Hi guys! Wow, it’s been a long time. I almost don’t know what to say! Almost.

So, there’s this Swedish scientist named Jarl Flensmark who thinks that wearing high-heels makes people schizophrenic and subject to other mental disorders (HT: Samantha Burns). I think he’s absolutely nuts. I wear high heels all the time and there’s nothing wrong with me!

I am, however, the girl who puts on her heels right before leaving the house and takes them off right when she reaches her destination, such as church. My pastor asks me if we’re standing on holy ground.

Apparently, “during walking, synchronised stimuli from mechaneroceptors in the lower extremities increase activity in cerebellothalamo-cortico-cerebellar loops through their action on NMDA- receptors.”

Followin’ me here? And no, a mechaneroceptor is not a dinosaur.

“Using heeled shoes leads to weaker stimulation of the loops. Reduced cortical activity changes dopaminergic function, which involves the gangliathalamo-cortical-nigro-basal ganglia loops.”

Basically Jarl is saying that walking in heels can prevent the neuro-receptors in the calf muscles from releasing dopamine, which is a necessary compound for mental well-being. Thanks Jarl. Sure you haven’t been wearing your heels to work lately?

He also points out that wherever heeled shoes have popped up around the world, so have mental institutions.

Hmmm. You know, I wonder if this has any connecton with me failing the insanity test (if the link makes you laugh, you’re insane).

BONUS! Random stuff!

What is Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

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Yep, it’s that time of year again. The time of year where we start thinking about and planning for one of the most important events that mark a revolutionary change in the history of America; nay,nay, the world!

“Independence Day,” you say?

No! My birthday! What do you think? Gosh!

Yes, that famous date, 8/18/88.

Do you know what that means?

GOLDEN BIRTHDAY!

And since I want this day formally acknowledged, I decided to buy myself an early birthday present. Ahhh, the benefits of working in formal dress store. Here it is!

WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR SOME BREAKING NEWS:
THE MALL DIVA HAD WEETABIX FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING. YES, THANKS TO TOM, WHO SUPPLIED IMPORTANT INFORMATION ON THE WHEREABOUTS OF THIS CEREAL, WHICH CAN INDEED BE FOUND AT TARGET.

Now back to your original programming.

What? I’m not going to show you, it would ruin the surprise! Stay tuned for the big reveal that will take place in 58 days, or 8 weeks and 2 days if you prefer.

(And no, that bag does not contain a body – dead or otherwise.)

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