Night Hens, Diva + 1 with 100% less Moose. Now with Video

The Night Hens: the Mall Diva (plus the “half-baked cupcake” but no Moose), Tiger Lilly and Reverend Mother (plus special guest, the Night Writer (the Rooster), heading to breakfast along with RM’s new Macbook with webcam.

RM: I have a bone to pick with you, Mall Diva. When you come in you just leave your shoes right where you stood, in the middle of the rug, like you’re the only one who lives here. You don’t even leave a path for me to walk on. You’re going to find your shoes in the snow bank next time.

MD: Not just kicked downstairs?

RM: Nope. In a snowbank. And full of snow.

TL: [says something provoking]

MD: [to TL] You’re a dork.

TL: Hey! I’m not a dork, I have an excess of personality!

MD: [scoffs]

TL: Mom! Mall Diva’s being intolerant of my personality!

MD: Mom! Tiger Lilly’s being intolerant if my intolerance!

The Rooster: The road to hell is paved with tolerance.

RM: Ooooh, that’s good.

Half-baked Cupcake: [punch]

MD: Now you settle down in there!

TL: I’m watching you, baby.

HBCC: [kick]

MD: Stop provoking it!

At the Bad Waitress cafe in Minneapolis. The group fills out their own orders on the order pad and NW takes it to the counter.

Rooster: The other night we ate at the Melting Pot where they charge you big bucks … and you cook your own food in the fondue. Now we come here at we have to be our own waitress? Hey, do you think there’s a bar somewhere where you can be your own bartender?

MD: We’re hungry! We want pancakes, now!!! Let’s do the pancake dance!!!

TL: Is it working?

MD: Nope….

TL: Then I guess we’ll just have to resort to… THIS!!!

*NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM*

TL: Back to what we were doing — the boss monologue from Portal!

Technical difficulties, please stand by.

HBCC: …WTF?

MD: Hey! When you come out of there, I’m washing your mouth out with soap! No more reading Eckernet for you!

HBCC: [meek silence] …

MD: I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous!

TL: I’d give my left arm, but I need my right one!

Rooster: Here comes the Bad Bouncer. Time to go.

10 thoughts on “Night Hens, Diva + 1 with 100% less Moose. Now with Video

  1. Nope, she’s got it memorized. Both of the girls have great memories for song lyrics, movie dialogue…even video games, apparently. They can practically do whole SpongeBob episodes by heart. Dinner at our house can be…interesting. One word can set them off, and sometimes that isn’t even necessary since they’re so freakily on the same brainwave most of the time.

  2. I thought that with telepathy you didn’t have to “say” anything.

  3. Days go by at our house without anyone saying an original word. Why bother when there’s a movie line for every occasion?

  4. Technically, they weren’t ‘scripted’, because that could imply we had a paper to memorize…

    Meh, you can do anything when motivated by doomsteak, ninja cows, and chocolate.

  5. Pingback: The blue of blues is mostly gray | thenightwriterblog.com

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