The Night Hens: Kevin Revisited

by the Night Hens

I hope you all remember a couple months ago when we did a Night Hens about Kevin. Here’s part 2:

Kevin Revisited
The sequel to Regarding Kevin.

RM: (referring to the cold coffee) This is good, but I don’t find it quite as satisfying as the hot coffee.
TL: I hope that semi-cute guy in the white shirt doesn’t think we’re stalking him or something, cuz we have to keep an eye on the bikes that just happen to be behind him.
RM: It’s funny to watch this guy’s facial expressions who’s sitting right outside the window. He laughs to himself and yawns a lot.
TL: He must be plotting world domination.
RM: I don’t think so. I think he’s a terrorist.
TL: World domination. Is he a terrifying terrorist?
RM: He’s not too terrifying, he has a purse. Oh, and now he has a waffle with whipped cream and a strawberry on top!
TL: The horror!! The horror!!! It’s too much for my delicate sensibilities.
RM: He looks rather self satisfied, though.
My legs are cold. Don’t your long jeans get caught in your bike chain?
TL: *shakes head, mouth full of banana chocolate chip muffin* That was delicious.
RM: Cold press coffee is good, but it makes me cold.
TL: Really?
RM: Yeah.
TL: Did you expect anything different?
RM: I didn’t know that cold-press coffee was cold coffee. I’m going to the bathroom.
TL: Amazing. That is superbly extraordinary. *plays Solitaire*

RM: Did anything funny happen while I was gone?
TL: Nope.
RM: I think the terrorist is taking a personality quiz.
TL: What makes you think that?
RM: He’s scratching his head and writing things — well, maybe he’s just taking a test. There’s a piece of paper with questions on it. He writes things down and grins. It’s making me a little nervous.
Now he’s on the phone with his leader in the Taliban.
He keeps calling people and then writing down answers! He’s saying, ‘Do you think I’m really like this?’ and they say, ‘No, you’re actually like this.’ He’s going through a period of self examination. Really intense self examination.
I ate that whole gosh darn muffin. Probably had a thousand calories. It’s the last thing I can eat today.
TL: The terrorist influenced you to eat it.
RM: Probably. He wouldn’t be nearly as interesting if his back was facing us.
TL: I wonder if he’s in league with the ninja cows.
RM: It doesn’t look like he’s been up close and personal with a cow. Ninja or otherwise. After all, he’s got a black leather bag. I don’t think the cows would appreciate that.
TL: It must be his cover.
RM: So he’s pretending to be something he’s not. Ooh! He just took a huge bite of waffle!
TL: He’s so dastardly!
RM: Yeah, he looks really dastardly with his purse and the way he has his napkin tucked into his shirt.
TL: He’s so uncivilized.
RM: I’d love to know what he’s reading.
TL: Probably “World Domination For Dummies”.
RM: He’s nodding like he’s agreeing with whatever it is he’s reading. The poor guy.
TL: Why do you say that?
RM: Well, he’s the victim of our intense scrutiny and presuppositions.
TL: Whatever he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.
RM: Unless he reads this post.
TL: He wouldn’t know that it’s him.
RM: Mr Dark and Curly Haired Man Who Has A Purse And A Fake Fountain Pen. I could take his picture with my phone.
TL: Yeah, like he wouldn’t notice that.
RM: *snaps a casual picture while looking like she is adjusting the settings*
TL: Very covert.
RM: He got up and left as soon as I took his picture.
TL: Toldja.
RM: He left his waffle and his paper here. I could grab them both, eat his waffle, and read his paper!
TL: ‘Where’s my stuff?!?!’ *mimes eating waffle secretly*
I just won at Solitaire with 520 points.
RM: He just held the door open for somebody who was coming in. I guess he can’t be all bad. Even terrorists can be polite.
TL: ‘I’m sorry, but I feel I must terrorize you. Is that alright with you?’
RM: He’s in here getting coffee. He left his purse on the table. Tsk tsk.
Wanna try some cold coffee?
TL: Nope.
RM: He’s reading his paper and giggling to himself now!
Okay, we should go.

7 thoughts on “The Night Hens: Kevin Revisited

  1. In defense of the terrorist, I would be self-satisfied too if I had ordered HEAVEN on a plate! (Belgian waffles and whipped cream and strawberries, YUM!)

  2. LOL, you have a Kevin Revisited episode but it includes no mention of Kevin. Now that’s just silly.

  3. It worked for me… I read the whole darn thing… with only the hopes of witnessing a few ladies making fun of kevin… alas, i was disapointed.. well played..

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