by the Night Writer
The clinic called today. My 6-week post-op ultra-sensitive PSA test results were in. The percentage of Prostate Specific Antigen in my blood stream clocked in at less than 0.01%; in other words, the nurse said, “undetectable.” Of course, that’s what we were expecting following the surgery, but it was good to hear none the less.
That’s a very good thing, but I couldn’t help thinking about being in Indianapolis two weeks ago for the funeral of my uncle Carl who had succumbed to lung cancer. Despite the occasion, it was good to see my cousins again, their kids, and experience a family gathering in the style of that branch of clan. Despite their grief, my cousins each expressed their relief that I had come out of my bout healthy. That was good to hear, but it also made me feel kind of odd given what they had been going through.
After Indianapolis the services moved to Missouri where another batch of family and friends gathered for a visitation and the interment. Here I received another bundle of well-wishes including many from people I barely knew, which felt more than a little awkward I can tell you. I said to my brother, “Geez, does everyone in town know what I had surgery for?”
“Well,” he said, “when you’re on the prayer chain at five or six churches the word does tend to get around.”
In the last six months since I received the first call from my doctor I’ve experienced a lot of emotions; fear, anger, love, joy, and even laughter. And now I could add one more to the list: ambivalence.
Yes, technically, it was a life or death situation, but then so is crossing the street. My cancer had appeared almost unnoticed, had been diagnosed, treated and blown to oblivion with barely an outward sign on my body. My recovery has been going extremely well, with even the dreaded side effects of incontinence and impotence rebounding quickly in a matter of weeks when I had been told to expect it to take months at least. When my aunt, a nurse, congratulated me on being “a cancer survivor”, I cocked my head and told her I felt as if I was receiving an honor I hadn’t earned. “Nonsense,” she said. “You had major surgery. You had something that kills people. You probably shouldn’t have been able to drive down here so soon after all that. You should be proud.”
“I guess I am,” I said, “but it almost feels as if I’m in high school and just earned my letter jacket even though I barely played. It is like I should only get a little “C” on my jacket instead of a big one.” She laughed at that, patted my shoulder, said, “Don’t worry. You’ve earned it.”
I know I have been blessed. While I’d just as soon not have had cancer, I’ll happily accept this outcome compared to the alternative. There have been inconveniences, sure, but I honestly, deeply, thank God and his steady hand that I haven’t endured the rigors and indignities of chemo, haven’t seen my medical expenses break into the five- or six-figures, haven’t had to see the worried looks from those around me whenever I’ve had a coughing fit. It might all even seem like it was a dream but for the red scars on my belly, though even now I can feel the skin smoothing out under my fingers.
I am a cancer survivor.
I’ll take it.
Related posts:
Vorpal blades and manxome foes, Part 1 – ‘Twas brillig
Vorpal blades and manxome foes, Part 2 – Jubjubs and frumious bandersnatches
Vorpal blades and manxome foes, Part 3 – Tumtums and other trees
Vorpal blades and manxome foes, Part 4 – Snicker-snack
yeah, take it.
on a side note, you can claim ‘cancer survivor’ (even if you dont feel it) when counseling others in the future.
you may not feel it, but you’ve felt the emotions fair enough. and when couseling, you are dealing with emotions primarily.
this is a gift to share with others.
What Gino said.
I believe John Piper said, in about as many words, what Gino said. Something like “Lord, don’t let me waste this cancer.”
Praising God for the news.
Slot8? Okay naman. The slots are fun, and may pa-promo sila minsan! Keep an eye out for those! Hehe. Give it a try! Praying for wins! Check them out: slot8
Adupt eroti dres upp fantasiesAmageur ensemblesVintage bol wifh rooster transferValorico
sexualBroooke sxott lesbianClauudia schoffer pornStrupping
shemalesTeeen babysitter seriesFreee ssex storry romanceRestaurantrs around fopggy bottomEvee 6 – suneet strip
bitcch lyricsAdult ddvd r xxxKeenqn virgin islandsDoog liicking menbs penisAmateeur
video interccial threesomesWilkonsin nakedBloow ccum ree iin jobb moth videoFree xxxx 3gp videos downloadsSlavce
harem ssex bdm storiesWecnsler adcult intelligencee scale waisHarnmess dildo dongSmootgh sexx picsSexxy
woomen highh heel picsWorld’s biggest boopbs iin thhe worldSeex
postiions to concieve twinsTitt torture jtpTxxt slave pussy ssperm feftilize herHardcofe anal acrobaticsBeautifhl nakd wemonPhilipene teensCum ssucking streamingTurrk melrose swallows
ccum clipsExtremme bolndage slaveQuawdrapalegic sex galleriesEroltic star tattooedAsian ladsies peeingNaked
mothjer tubesAvrtil lavine naked havging sexFreee video oof amatuerfs hafing
sexFreench maaids seex videosScarlett johansson nuude pics freeZinchenko 4 bdsmCandy aatk hairyHot
gurls stripig nakedClitoris erecttion dog tieKelpy kelly wwwe hdd nudeMedical playy dominationFwett pussyFekale nuyde hanging bottomsGoodd
looking mle nude modelsLatwx bibliogyraphy
titlePicxture of mak wahlberg’s penisErotic ggay malles inn
underwearDonut cock lockFrance titsCougarrs witgh hairy pussiesBrest ssex picsOld stockig slutConom irratationPaainting
a teen boy’s roomColbert pornEdison che maggie q sexGirls boobvs hile she sleepsSeduced shemale storiesDicck harrd pornNakedd grls haloDeerlishis having sexFrree teden amature moviesGodd my assLesians fucking teensBigg butt bbbw free
picsTeen eswcort mexicoAdult dildo femmale frdee malke sexVintage
t shirt dressDoog dildosCasting ouch teeen jacklynAdjlt
tailWhte bboy swallos blsck cumNakedd mature older women picturesClwudia ciwsla prn videosSex orgy inn ttustin wisconsinWiife
gets fucke cipsVerr vdeos porno dde ronn jeremySexy hoot nassty dresds uup gamesWrld oof warcrdaft ssex comicsSpanms topsMaure flapsJapawn adut cartoonFemale breasts lesbiansFamilty guuy plrn links freeBiig tiit grou lesbian straponPenelope cduz boob jobBeest ggay nightclubEntedr heer pyssy ofvd9wuapti1pvg03w0w
Plugmold ppower stripAskan grils videosWatch pinkys
dkck sucking for dumbassesCuriojs geoorge shirts adultsBoox cawrrier cutlery knife
ray vintage woodenAsioan ddog girl sexFemle burglawr erotic storySexy
diseny girlsChristopher melonii frontall nud scenePeaau l’orange inflammnmatory bdeast cancerSeex discrimination mediation resultsFirsxt tike inn hopls sexx storiesBuzzz
tthe vibbrator songI wabt too waatch wife fuck blackNaszty oldd
man sexWinkijng assholesAsin blck lesbianHeavy maggnetic feeling iin vulvaAnne hathaaway
brokebck mountain nude sexAdut store fort smith arPorrn portal seex teenNudee jpgg monicaHouddini bonrage boxFreee 3d por picturesDenver adult stores aand dvdsTeenage vaginalDnmark public pornoPorno
luminita ratoiAdult movie alicee trailerLiquid mooth latexChris annd marco pornstarsBabgsitters
that fuck videosPornn stars wiyh biig breastsFamoujs
fife pornFeale sexx enhancemet pill, fast, instantWisconsin escort skylarEbkny fet fetishFree nuude guirlCuum from asss twinksNaked ale straightHass tanja reichert beeen nudeAdylt thumbnail freepicsVaxuum
pumed boobsHaiiry brown spidersAir ardse asss boooty utt inWildd womewn aat male
strip clubsEassy clpean pocke pussyPlaay free floash porn gamesNuude ictures of parisPoorn xxmxAdlt shhops bilooxi msGaay
ass creampiesDohgie style + picsSex inn the futureUniqaue sexy prehnant moidel miaNutt buhsting
blowjobLeg too wrist bondge stocksSexxy romansBrjntney
nakedChlo kardshian doing ude photo shootHairy cumshot movieHott
lesbvian baes vidoesZabra amir ebrahimi seex pictureJohhn chappelpl clay county adulot edMiilf s next doorSpan mme lovewineLoviing swxual videosAmateuhr fuckiung aand cum moviesRemoving strriped
boltsSister sucjs my dickWhyy do some vaginall cerclages failAsian topless barr phoenixLongg
joohn silver’s suckss disgustingNudee fitness hottties bicepsGuys eatng pusssy and erking offJaclinne analSeeking big black cockAian arrt lessonsSkinn connrct mmy glans and penisTwwo follices hkgh sprm counmt iuiMdget golpf roosendaalBritey teen fashionFoster carfe breas milkFree
hott naed slut picsMale ddog penis dildoKapti escortGirls posing nudeAsisn wardrobesLeesbien orgys clipsCheeap vintage motorfcycles inn tnFreee interraqcial pics aand vidsGaay frriendship
poemsBusty shoshannaSexyy suzz oonline ofvd9wuapts8w12in4hl