A special Night Hens breakfast: the last outing before the Mall Diva is married. The Hens are at Keys in downtown St. Paul with special guest, the Rooster!
MD: (recounting her last visit to the chiropractor) Dr. Gina went on maternity leave on Tuesday and had her baby Wednesday morning at 4 a.m. Now there’s Dr. Gilmore, a young, good looking chiropractor with an earring. Casii only gets to see him once because she only goes once a month now.
NW: What does Casii need a chiropractor for? She’s such a well adjusted girl.
RM: Not like our daughters.
MD: I’m so excited to go on vacation. Jackie’s driving me crazy.
NW: Is that the only reason?
MD: *Takes a call from Benny, answers:* “8 days.” (Brief logistical discussion ensues).
RM: Is he going to start moving stuff into our house today?
RM: When he moves a load in, you move a load into storage.
(TV news has something about a person getting a face transplant).
RM: What? . . .Somebody had a face transplant? Who had an extra face?
NW: Obama, he had two of them.
MD: But he’s using them.
RM: When I went and visited the tulips today, another one that I planted this spring is coming up.
NW: Do you talk to the tulips when you visit?
RM: Only the ones I planted. I also go out in the morning and spray the thistles and the grasses with Roundup and discourage them greatly.
MD: So last night at Anna’s house, they finished playing poker, and Anna grabbed the paper and started doing the crossword! So of course, I’m getting all the answers, and Anna’s like, ‘How do you know all this?’ and I said, ‘I told you, we do this all the time, I know all the ‘rules’ of the crossword’.
WA: Wow look at this, you bring her *referring to RM* along, and you get clean plates!
RM: Yeah, I just eat whatever they don’t.
TL: *to NW*: Your keyboard is reeeaaally nice. *strokes keys*
NW: Really? It’s mean to me. I think it’s got an attitude.
TL: *happily stroking soft niiiiice keys…*
MD: Lindsay got our bridesmaid dresses yesterday! They weren’t supposed to come until June! She’s also bringing a crinoline…
RM: Dad’s crinoline? You said ‘your crinoline’, and you were looking at Dad…
MD: I said ‘a crinoline’.
NW: Me and crinoline don’t agree.
MD: It would make your kilt look foofier, though.
NW: I don’t need my kilt any foofier. Get me some taffeta, though…
RM: SO, since three of us had dreams about going to Italy, I should talk to my brother David, because they were talking about going to Italy. Did anyone else dream of a specific place? I dreamed of Naples, maybe we’re supposed to go there.
NW: Maybe you dreamed we were just supposed to go to Café di Napoli.
RM: No, yuck. I’ve been there.
NW: I just wanted to consider the possibility of the least expensive interpretation.
TL: If we did that after we went to Spain, would we still get to Barcelona?
RM: Probably not, but I really want to go…
NW: It’s beautiful, up by the coast…
MD: Lots of beaches… Nude beaches?
RM: We’ll stay away from those.
TL: Aww… I mean *clears throat* good!
*Leaving Keys, RM buys MD a small pin that says “Blushing Bride.”*
MD: I don’t blush that much, I don’t have that great a circulation. Benny blushes a lot, though.
RM: What do you say that makes him blush?
MD: I don’t really say anything. I just notice every now and then that he’s blushing.
RM: Why isn’t there a blushing groom pin?
TL: It shouldn’t be a blushing groom, it should be a … never mind.
RM: I don’t know what you’re thinking, but stop it.
NW: I don’t know what you’re thinking, but you’re grounded.