The Emperor’s Groove

It struck me the other day that the modern Disney classic The Emperor’s New Groove, is a stunning forecast of the Obama administration, even though it was released at the dawning of the previous administration in 2000.

Now, I don’t blog about politics too much because there are so many better bloggers out there with more fire and deeper insights than I, plus my own belief is that there’s really not a nickel’s worth of difference between the two major parties’ ruling credo of “just win, baby.” I am a big movie fan, however, and some of the recent political headlines started dovetailing with the great songs and dialog in the movie. Were the Disney studios eerily prescient in their allegorical (not Al-Gore-ical) forecast of an Obama administration, or did I simply spend too many hours in a car this weekend with too little to occupy my mind? You be the judge.

Submitted for your consideration, the following excerpts with President Obama as Emperor Kuzco, Senator Judd Greg as Pacha, Rahm Emanuel as Kronk and a host of “characters” that Obama has thrown under the bus represented by the emporer’s ex-advisor, Yzma.

Kuzco’s theme song: This was sung by the great Tom Jones, but the cartoon vocalist with his red-blond afro and over-the-top enthusiasm sounds a lot like Chris Matthews to me. Consider these lyrics (think “Big O” instead of “Kuzco”):

He was born and raised to rule
No one has ever been this cool
In a thousand years of aristocracy
An enigma and a mystery
In Meso American History
The quintessence of perfection that is he

He’s the sovereign lord of the nation
He’s the hippest dude in creation
He’s a hep cat in the emperor’s new clothes
Years of such selective breeding
Generations have been leading
To this miracle of life that we all know

What’s his name?
Kuzco, Kuzco, Kuzco…

He’s the sovereign lord of the nation
He’s the hippest cat in creation
He’s the alpha, the omega, a to z
And this perfect world will spin
Around his every little whim
‘Cause this perfect world begins and ends with him

What’s his name?
Kuzco, Kuzco, Kuzco…

Weird, huh? Well how about these lines of dialog (real names inserted for cartoon characters):

Pacha/Judd Gregg: Uh-oh.
Kuzco/Obama: Don’t tell me. We’re about to go over a huge waterfall.
Pacha/Gregg: Yep.
Kuzco/Obama: Sharp rocks at the bottom?
Pacha/Gregg: Most likely.
Kuzco/Obama: Bring it on.

[after the stock market’s fallen into the alligator pit]
Kuzco/Obama: Why do we even have that lever?

Kuzco/Obama: Oh, and by the way, you’re fired.
Yzma/Rick Wagoner: Fired? W-W-What do you mean, “fired”?
[Kuzco/Obama snaps his finger and a servant comes in and writes down Wagoner’s “pink slip”]
Kuzco/Obama: Um, how else can I say it? “You’re being let go.” “Your department’s being downsized.” “You’re part of an outplacement.” “We’re going in a different direction.” “We’re not picking up your option.” Take your pick. I got more.

Kronk/Rahm Emanuel: Hey, it doesn’t always have to be about you. This poor little guy’s had it rough. Seems a talking llama/talk show host gave him a hard time the other day.

Kuzco/Obama voiceover: This is Carville, the emperor’s advisor. Living proof that dinosaurs once roamed the Earth.

[Kuzko/Obama collides with an old man/Jim Cramer while dancing]
Kuzco/Obama: D’oh! You threw off my groove!
Palace Guard/Media: I’m sorry, but you’ve thrown off the Emperor’s groove.
[the old man/Cramer is thrown out of the palace window]
Old Man/Cramer: Sooooorry!

Kuzco/Obama: When will you learn that all my ideas are good ones?
Pacha/Gregg: Well, that’s funny. Because I thought that you going into the jungle by yourself, being chased by jaguars, lying to me to take you back to the palace were all really bad ideas.
Kuzco/Obama: Oh, yeah. Anything sounds bad when you say it with that attitude.

Pacha/Gregg: Why did I risk my life for a selfish brat like you? I was always taught that there was some good in everyone, but, oh, you proved me wrong.
Kuzco/Obama: Oh, boo-hoo. Now I feel really bad. Bad Obama.

Yzma/Rev. Wright: Why, I practically raised him.
Kronk/Emanuel: Yeah, you’d think he would’ve turned out better.
Yzma/Rev. Wright: Yeah, go figure.

I don’t know about you, but right now I’m scrutinizing Monsters vs. Aliens for predictions of the next election.

1 thought on “The Emperor’s Groove

  1. Who are the shoulder angel and devil?

    Devil: Look at that guy, he’s got that sissy, stringy, music thing.

    Angel: We’ve been through this. It’s a harp, and you know it.

    Devil: That’s a harp….and that’s a dress.

    Angel: Robe!

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