Police Chief Marlin Perkins…

The Strib story detailing the post-concert exploits of Rage Against the Machine fans and the Minneapolis police included this phrase:

87 people were brought in, tagged and released…

I couldn’t help but get a picture in my head of some wild child being hit with a tranquilizer dart, taken down in the street and then a police officer named Jim affixing a tracking tag to a part of the dude’s body not already obscured with tattoos and piercings, then moving off to a safe distance as the kid staggers back to rejoin the herd. The tag, of course, would be in the hopes of future arresting officers calling in to report the location of the bust, providing important scientific data about the migratory patterns of this species.

Perhaps I watched too much of Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom when I was a kid.

3 thoughts on “Police Chief Marlin Perkins…

  1. I loved Wild Kingdom when I was a kid. Marlin Perkins was just shameless.

    “As Jim goes out to fight with the savage tiger, I sit in the duck blind and count my royalty checks.”

    “The lion is mightiest beast in the jungle. Let Mutual of Omaha be your guide through the financial jungle.”

    Comedy gold, NW. And if I remember correctly, they have some old clips of the show on their website.

  2. I’m not sure what would be the point of radio tracking. Surely this species is too primitive to have any successful social structure, it exhibits no intelligence whatsoever, and individually they have no known commercial or aesthetic value. It is a quirk of Nature they have survived this long.

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