Night Hens- Comprehensive Version!

by the Night Hens

So the Hens are in Minneapolis this morning, sitting on the patio outside Panera Bread. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and the vehicles are LOUD, pretty much drowning out the birds who hop around us excitedly and expentantly. If you feed them, they will come. In flocks. It’s scary!!!

MD and TL go inside and order while RM saves a table outside, though there is hardly a rush of people to claim them, as its 10 o’ clock. Yes, a.m.

The guy behind the counter (codename: Eric) is very personable. TL orders a frozen lemonade, which, apparently, is a lemonade slushy.
Eric: Do you want whipped cream on that?
TL: Yep.
MD: Whipped cream????
TL:Yeah, it’s good!
Eric: She knows what she’s talking about.
MD: I don’t think it sounds gross, I’m just jealous!
Eric asks MD iff she wants whipped cream.
MD: But I’m just getting a regular coffee.
Eric: I know.
MD: Sure!
Eric makes another frozen lemonade and hands it to MD. “Now you don’t have to be jealous.”
MD: Thanks!

So now we’re all outside, feeding the birds (or at least, TL is. Just call her the bird lady.). A kid rides up on his bycycle, parks it and chains it to a lamppost. I can tell that he works at Panera. He goes inside.
MD: Nice apron!

RM: goes inside to go to the powder room and grab a sample out of the sample case to feed to the birds. They were using the almonds from my pastry, but those are gone. Their favorite bird is a little one-legged black-capped chickadee (codename: That Little Parapolegic Bird)
MD: Do they like frosting?
TL:: I think that its probably not good for them. I’m feeding them cinnamon bread. Do you want a bite
RM: No! she doesn’t need that! Think of the bird.
MD: Oh, nice.

MD: I’m engaged!
RM: Ok, one week and I want that to stop.
MD: And then in about 5 months I’ll just say it out of the blue.

A big truck rolls by and makes a very unladylike noise.
RM:That thing farted!
More funny noises are heard, but this time from our table.
MD: What happened?
RM: TL blubbered lemonade all over my arm.
TL: It’s not called blubbering, it’s called bubbling! Blubbering is crying.
RM: She burbled it.

TL: So we found out who Doomtree is. (Referring to the paper- entertainment section) One of the guys names is Turbo Nemesis.
RM: Do you think that’s his real name?
TL: No.

RM: You know, we keep hanging out here, and I keep expecting to see Jesus, but he hasn’t come back.
MD: Like as in: the second coming?
TL: The second coming to Panera.
RM giggles.

TL wonders why people randomly wear dresses instead of pants and shirts.
RM: Didn’t you see dad’s post about men in skirts?
TL: What about it?
RM: Well, I guess it didn’t really explain why, just that they do.
TL: But not in this country.
RM: Well, maybe in New York. Or Paduka, Idaho.
MD laughs.
RM: Is Paduka in Idaho?
MD: I think its in Kentucky.
RM: Ok, I drank too much of that lemonade thing, and now I’ve got a sugar high. There’s a cute car!

RM: So what’s going to happen after you get married, are you going to snub us?
MD, laughing: Yup.
TL: NOOOOOOOOOoooooooo…..
RM: What’s wrong with you?
TL: Can I borrow some of that?
RM: My lipstick?
TL: Yep.
RM: MD, TL want’s to borrow some of your lipstick.
MD: Get your own.

RM: So one day are we going to go to McDonald’s to get cappuccinos?
MD: Nope.

TL: So, if MD snubs us after she gets married, it’ll just be me and you. Like it was when she was in beauty school.
RM: Oh, yeah. Did we miss her?
MD: yep.
TL:Only in her mind.
RM: Yeah, in her little fevered imagination.
TL: We could kidnap her.

RM: What should we do today? Go test drive motorcycles?
TL: We should go shopping.


RM: we need to get into our car before we get ticketed.

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