Paging Janet Reno

Another great one from Scrappleface yesterday:

Feds to Raid Isolated, Black-Robed California Sect
by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace ·

(2008-05-16) — Federal agents and National Guard troops surrounded the gleaming white temple-like San Francisco enclave of an isolationist sect after the black-robed “high priests” of the group yesterday declared themselves to be above the laws of the state of California.

In a move reminiscent of recent raids on polygamist compounds elsewhere, authorities prepared to seize documents and computers, and to rescue any young interns or clerks who might have fallen victim to the cult’s bizarre, extra-legal rituals.

Yesterday, the “Supreme” leaders of the sect briefly emerged from hiding to issue a declaration overriding two state laws and loosening the definition of marriage to include “any practice or lifestyle the prohibition of which might make one feel discriminated against.”

“We’d like this siege to end peacefully,” said a Justice Department spokesman, “but these people need to know that this is still the United States of America. You can’t set up your own sovereign nation within its borders, and make up your own set of rules that counter the will of the people and violate the law of the land.”

2 thoughts on “Paging Janet Reno

  1. I like that last paragraph. I wonder if they listened when they said it?

  2. Keep in mind that Scrappleface is a parody news site. The quote is very appropriate, but is likely not factual (though it would be interesting to see if a similar quote was used in relation to the recent Texas polygamy bust).

Leave a Reply