Kevin, man the harpoons!

Def con 4. From intelligence resource, codenamed King David:

SOUTH ST. PAUL, Minn. — A cow ran loose on Interstate 494 in St. Paul Friday morning. Traffic cameras picked up the cow at 494 and Concord Street around 9:00 a.m. Friday.

When captured later, the cow appeared to be suffering from amnesia—she kept referring to ‘Operation Tiger Lilly,’ and continually repeated that the Tiger was going to be taken down.

Special K: Execute defense plan Delta Tango. No survivors, but remains may be suitably aged and delivered to the bunker’s chef.

10 thoughts on “Kevin, man the harpoons!

  1. I certainly hope that the poor cow was not waterboarded, tortured, or subjected to culturally insensitive behavior in order to force it’s confession. That being said…..Everybody Sing!

    Moo moo, I love you!

    T-bones and porterhouses

    even hamburger will do!

    Garlic rubbed and marinated

    smoked onion in my Brinkmann,

    bitten off and masticated

    chased with a blended canadian…..

  2. Hmmm… It seems that even though I’m not in a place of power (yet), there are things that have got it in for me.

    Mwahahahahaha…I’d like to see them try.

  3. A cow running loose on the highway would have been strange enough; but when I saw that it was in South St. Paul, it was too coincidental. Just goes to prove: cows read The Night Writer.

  4. NW….

    Please be a little more sensitive to the plight of our bovine friends. It must be extraordinarily difficult to type with cloven hooves and chew cud at the same time.

  5. That wasn’t a cow, that was a bull. A bull with a particularly bad attitude, even more than is normal, I think.

  6. Kevin…

    You can’t braise bovine without my special onion sitting on the grill next to it (house rules and all….)

    I will check to see if my double-super-top-secret grilled onion recipe has been declassified yet.

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