Laying it on the (non-binding) line

In keeping with the spirit of the times the Minneapolis City Council is the latest to offer a resolution that’s about as binding as a sackful of White Castles ingested after bar-closing — and even less meaningful. Their call for “an orderly, rapid and comprehensive withdrawal of United States military personnel from Iraq” garnered the headlines, but what was missed was what the Council did after hammering out that gripping piece of political theater.

Moving on to other important business, the Council passed resolutions calling for:

  • Great Britain to give the Falklands back to Argentina
  • The NFL to redistribute Bill Belichick to the Vikings
  • The Prairie Chicken be named the state bird of North Dakota.

These resolutions all passed unanimously. Another resolution, banning President Bush from attending the 2008 Republican Convention in Minneapolis, passed 11-0 with two abstentions. The abstentions came from members who said it wasn’t appropriate to vote on the measure because George Bush wasn’t really the president of the United States.

A final resolution, condemning the blast of Arctic air headed for Minnesota later this week, had to be tabled because of arguments arising over whether or not to call for a fence to be built at the Canadian border to keep the cold air out. In a compromise measure, the Council unanimously declared that “winter was mean” because it has a disproportionate impact on the poor and minorities.

By the time these resolutions were passed the Council was out of time and couldn’t act on an agenda item calling for withdrawing law-abiding citizens from the “quagmire” of North Minneapolis.

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