Steroid scandal rocks Easter Bunny

The best-selling new book “Game of Shadows” has brought to light the startling facts that many have whispered about for years: the Easter Bunny has been abusing steroids. Accustomed to going about his business in the dark, Bunny has been exposed as an insecure cheater who was jealous of the other mythical characters.

Easter Bunny exposed as steroid cheat

The book describes Bunny as saying he was tired of the attention that “bigger” holiday icons such as Santa Claus and the Great Pumpkin received and resorted to steroids in an effort not only to compete but to surpass his counterparts. “Really, look at those Thanksgiving Day turkeys; you mean to tell me that that’s all natural?” Bunny reportedly says in the book, trying to justify his actions.

Whispers about Bunny’s increasing size have existed for years though few will admit readily to seeing him. “Well, it was very difficult to bring it up,” says Puxatawny Phil, the famous groundhog and close friend of Bunny. “You know he was always this sleek, kind of cute guy with big eyes but over the last few years … he just kept getting bigger, you know? His head, it was huge and those paws and those feet! It did seem like his eggs were getting smaller, though, and those mood swings; I just decided I wasn’t going to say anything about it.”

Prompted by the media-storm created by the book, the Holiday Commission has announced its own investigation.

(The actual story related to this picture can be found here. HT: The Wide Awake Cafe)

4 thoughts on “Steroid scandal rocks Easter Bunny

  1. Great picture – but can you honestly say that The Bunny has failed EVEN ONE drug test? Has The Bunny ever tested positive? This is an opportunistic time to frame The Bunny – right around Easter. Thirs wreaks of hare-ism (racism against hares / rabbits). Would these allegations have been brought up against an animal less visible to the public- say a juiced up red squirrel? I think not. Its just another case of The Man keeping The Bunny down.

  2. I don’t care if it reeks of hare-krishna – Bunny is a cheater! Nobody cares if a squirrel juices, and besides, since the sordid revelations about Rocket T. Squirrel we all know that squirrels are speed-freaks anyway. But the Easter Bunny is a role model! Kids look up to him and want to be like him! Say it ain’t so, Bunny Bonds!

  3. The EB cheats.

    How else do you explain his sudden and astonishing performance increases.

    (I saw this photo elsewhere and completely failed to draw a reasonable conclusion. I wondered too much about the Fuddlike / Lennie character holding the rabbit.)

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