“I don’t care if Ned Flanders is the nicest guy in the world. He’s a jerk — end of story.”
— Homer Simpson
Marty Andrade has been offering one paragraph “Who are these people?” descriptions of the blogs on his blogroll (actually, Marty calls this feature something else, but I try not to use that kind of language here). Yesterday the spotlight turned to me:
I think John is the least evil man ever. A family man, a right honorable person who just isn’t evil. He does a good blog, he’s almost the Ned Flanders of the blogosphere. That’s all I could think of. It’s weird, whenever I read his blog (which again, is excellent) all I can think about is how completely not evil the man is. I don’t know if that’s an endorsement or not…
Hey, I can be evil! I can! Just this morning I left some stray beard hairs in the bathroom sink. Bwa-ha-ha! My wife told me to clean them up, and you know what I said? Huh? Well, I didn’t really say anything. I just went in there and cleaned them up — but I didn’t say I was sorry, either! Ha! Also, I mock our cat mercilessly. Mercilessly, I tell you, until I make him cry! And Jeff Kouba at Peace Like a River is always saying I’m evil! I’ve even waved bloody knives at the Mall Diva’s prospective suitors! And next week I’m … oops, mustn’t say too much … the world will just have to wait and see!
Okay, if you can’t even use the pejorative term for the infernal regions in your blog, then I was completely right. You’re Ned Flanders, so go okaley dokaley somewhere else…
I guess you’re being not evil on your blog, so I should be the one to go somewhere else…
Fine.
He’s Evil Incarnate! A very bad man.
Awww, Marty, you can stay! I was just funning by not writing that H-E-double-toothpicks word in my post. You know I couldn’t be mad at you. Here – here’s your own can of spraypaint for the header!
I’m not sure my blog title makes for good graffiti…
And here I’m just a conservative school psychologist…
Okaly dokaly.
(And I was just trying to help. I won’t tell them about the time I saw you care for an injured puppy while at the same time helping an old lady across the street.)
Yeah, but the old lady was crossing the street to get to the casino and the puppy was delicious!