All movies not created sequel

Last weekend the animated sequel Ice Age 2 earned some $67 million more than another sequel that also debuted, Basic Instinct 2. Instinct director Paul Verhoeven claims that the lack of interest in the Sharon Stone vehicle is due to the puritanical, Christian attitude of the U.S. as exemplified by the current presidential administration.

Of course the paltry gross may just be because it’s a bad movie, but Verhoeven could be on to something. Consider that the much-acclaimed gay sheepherder movie “Brokeback Mountain” has grossed about $80 million in the 17 weeks its been out – roughly $10 million more than Ice Age 2 did in just its first weekend, and some $200 million behind what “The Chronicles of Narnia” has taken in during those same 17 weeks (source: Box Office Mojo). Is it merely a case of good vs. evil or silly triumphing over slutty, or is it something more? I haven’t seen either one of the movies, but let’s, er, go to the film and break it down to see which might get my $8:

  • Ice Age 2 features cute prehistoric animals that make you care about what happens to them; Basic Instinct 2 features a Tyranosaurus Sex.
  • In Ice Age 2, moviegoers wanted another chance to see Ray Romano as a woolly mammoth; In Basic Instinct 2 apparently few people want another chance to see Sharon Stone’s woolly.
    (See, Marty, I’m trying to be evil.)
  • If you go to an Ice Age 2 kid’s matinee you leave feeling dirty because of what you just sat in, as opposed to feeling dirty because of what you just sat through.
  • Ice Age 2 has animals that act almost human; Basic Instinct 2 has humans that act like animals.
  • The actors in Ice Age 2 are cuter and more animated.

Sorry, Mr. Verhoeven, my money’s on the cartoon but good luck with your film. Perhaps you’ll sell more tickets in those Islamic countries.

3 thoughts on “All movies not created sequel

  1. Yes, a complete mystery why films like Ice Age 2 and Narnia do boffo business, but films like Brokeback and BI2 do much less business. I’m scratching my head here.

    I mean, don’t we all take our values from MoveOn and Planned Parenthood these days? Oh well, I guess the war against the Christian Taliban never ends.

  2. First, I’ll see Ice Age II for the Squirrel Follies. The fundamental plot of the movie is secondary.

    Second, I never saw Basic Instinct 1, so I’m even less interested in BI 2.

    They can’t figure out why people won’t go see their politically biased movies and that’s because they forgot one of Samuel Goldwyns Golden Rules,

    “Pictures are for entertainment, messages should be delivered by Western Union.”

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