by the Night Writer
Former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich’s attorney, Sam Adam, Jr., stated yesterday that Blago “didn’t take a dime” and simply trusted the wrong people. He went on to say that, “The guy ain’t corrupt” and that “not a single penny of ill-gotten money went into Mr. Blogojevich’s campaign fund or his own pockets.”
I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation. In fact, I’m sure I’ve heard it explained before. Oh, right — it was all laid out in the musical, “Fiorello” that dealt with the break-up of the Tammany Hall machine. The song, “A Little Tin Box” explains it in a way so easy to understand that you’ll wonder why you never thought of it yourself:
JUDGE: Mister “X,” may we ask you a question?
It’s amazing, is it not,
that the city pays you slightly less
than 50 bucks a week,
yet you’ve purchased a private yacht?
WITNESS: I am positive Your Honor must be joking.
Any working man can do what I have done.
For a month or two I simply gave up smoking
and I put my extra pennies one by one…
into a Little Tin Box,
a Little Tin Box
that a little tin key unlocks.
There is nothing unorthodox
about a Little Tin Box.
In a Little Tin Box, a Little Tin Box
that a little tin key unlocks,
there is honor and purity,
lots of security,
in a Little Tin Box.
JUDGE: Mister “Y,” we’ve been told
you don’t feel well,
and we know you’ve lost your voice,
but we wonder how you managed,
on the salary you make,
to acquire a new Rolls Royce.
WITNESS: You’re implying I’m a crook and I say no sir!
There is nothing in my past I care to hide.
I’ve been taking empty bottles to the grocer,
and each nickel that I got was put aside…
into a Little Tin Box,
a Little Tin Box
that a little tin key unlocks.
There is nothing unorthodox
about a Little Tin Box.
In a Little Tin Box, a Little Tin Box
there’s a cushion for life’s rude shocks.
There is faith, hope and charity,
hard-won prosperity,
in a Little Tin Box.
JUDGE: Mister “Z,” you’re a junior official,
and your income’s rather low
yet, you’ve kept a dozen women
in the very best hotels.
Would you kindly explain, how so?
WITNESS: I can see Your Honor doesn’t pull his
punches
and it looks a trifle fishy, I’ll admit,
but for one whole week I went without my lunches
and it mounted up, Your Honor, bit by bit…
It’s just a
Little Tin Box,
a Little Tin Box
that a little tin key unlocks.
There is nothing unorthodox
about a Little Tin Box.
In a Little Tin Box, a Little Tin Box
all a-glitter with blue-chip stocks,
there is something delectable,
almost respectable,
in a Little Tin Box!
It appears Mr. Adam will use an intesting line of defense that combines purity and sentience:
“You have to be comatose not to figure out how to get a dollar out of $52 billion,” Mr. Adam said, referring to the state budget. “But who didn’t? Him!” he said indicating his client.
