by Tiger Lilly
Q: Which occurs more, cow attack or shark attacks?
A: Cow attacks. But this doesn’t mean that cows are more dangerous than sharks, there are just more of them.
Being attacked by a shark is much more dangerous than being attacked by a cow. However, the probability of the average man in the street actually being attacked by a shark is much lower than the probability of his being attacked by a shark. [sic]
First of all, why is there even a probability of being attacked by a shark ‘on the street’? Do you ever hear someone say, “Man, what a day I’ve had! I was walking home, minding my own business, when out of the blue this shark tackled me!” No. No, you don’t.
This has told me that the public still has yet to grasp the dangers posed by ninja cows. Cows are definitely more dangerous than sharks. The answerer had no idea that cows were more dangerous than sharks. That proves that they are. They’re ninjas!
Lock your doors. Board up your windows. Camp out on the roof with a Barret .50 M82A1 (and some A1 sauce, while you’re at it). Quarantine anyone who may have come in contact with a ninja cow (in case of mad cow disease).
Maybe get yourself one (or ten) of these:
This is a national emergency!!!
Are you ready? I know I am.
Ciao for now, my brother- and sisters- in-arms!