Which headline is from The Onion?

by the Night Writer

Obama: Health Care Plan Would Give Seniors Right To Choose How They Are Killed

Obama humbled to win Nobel

Ok, the second one is obviously the fake. “Humble” is never used in reference to our president.

We should have seen this coming; after all, he closed Gitmo, got us out of Iraq and Afghanistan, has suceeded in getting Iran and North Korea to play nice and his policies have led to unprecedented domestic peace and harmony. So yeah, give him the Nobel Peace Prize.

In a related development, it’s another big garage sale weekend in my neighborhood. I’m going to see if I can’t get one of those Nobel prizes for myself.

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