Road hazards

Buffy Holt from plain simple english is back stateside for awhile, which means having to re-test for her driver’s license. Her account of taking this exam under the supervision of an examiner who looked like John Coffey from The Green Mile is here. Her story reminded me of the many stresses that accompanied my driver’s training.

Way back in the day I took my driver’s ed training through a 6-week program at my high school. There’s probably a book and a half worth of material right there, but one thing I especially remember is a question on the final written exam: What is the most dangerous animal to hit when driving?

You know, I’m sure I never saw that covered in the text book or heard it in the lecture portions, unless it was slipped into those horrendous road accident movies they showed to freak you out, in which case I no doubt blocked it from my mind. Anyway, I gave it about two more seconds of thought and wrote “Rogue Elephant” and moved on.

Turns out I was wrong, but I had enough points to pass the test anyway. According to the instructor the correct answer was “hog” as its low center of gravity can flip your car. I’ve seen some pretty fat squirrels on the road (who’s center of gravity got progressively lower) but I’ve never seen a hog on the road, dead or alive. You can be sure that if I ever do, however, I’m pulling a bootlegger turn (definitely not taught in class) and going the other direction as fast as I can just to be safe. I don’t know what I’d do if I had to choose between hitting a hog, an elephant or driving into a ditch full of alligators.

Sometimes I’ve wondered since then: do you think they perhaps gave me the written test for Arkansas by mistake?

The paragraphs above were the gist of a comment I left for Buffy. I ran them here as well for fun and maximum “mileage”, and because it gave me a good excuse to run this picture of the girls again:

7 thoughts on “Road hazards

  1. I have seen a boar on Minnesota roads….granted it was dead….and on a trailer traveling in the lane next to me. Big pig….very big. Tusks and all.

    And as far as not knowing what to do if you had to choose between hitting a hog, an elephant or driving in a ditch ful of alligators. Well that’s easy, the answer is D, stop before hitting any of them, pull out your high-caliber rifle and start blasting away.

  2. I had a vision of you on Family Feud, Mall Diva and Tiger Lilly yelling “good answer, good answer” and Richard Dawson shouting out, “Show us, Rogue Elephant, is it up there” You’ve should have gotten some credit for popping that out. I love it, I may have to change my handle. The Rogue Elephant from the Far Wright.

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