In the old days, the soda pop tasted like soap, the soap lathered like toilet paper, the toilet paper could be used to sand furniture, the furniture was as comfortable as a pile of canned goods, the canned goods had the flavor of a Solzhenitsyn novel, and a Solzhenitsyn novel got you arrested if you owned one. Now the Russians have discovered brand names…
My six-hour flight to Siberia took two days. Airline employees circulated with walkie-talkies. Not satisfied with individual screw-ups, they apparently wanted to coordinate them.
“Everything’s unready to go in the cockpit.”
“Roger that. We’ve got the baggage lost.”
“Seat selection’s a mess.”
“Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Catering’s not f*****d up yet.”
Granted, O’Rourke may not turn a comedic phrase as deftly as Vlad Putin, but I’ve always kind of liked him. I hope conditions have improved since that was written.
Good luck, Chad.