Order in the Court! The Honorable Judge MD presiding…

Okay, okay. Before we start a blood feud or anything like that:

The Mall Diva realizes Kevin’s relatively innocent role in all of the recent events, and hereby lets him off the hook (though I will keep the hook handy).

If Cathy the Volunteer Maternal Protector (VMP) in the Wright still wants to kick his butt, that’s between them (but probably time well spent).

As Princess FlickerFeather stated, DDR does rock, but the dance-off will have to wait for another time.

As for Uncle Ben, the Mall Diva charges him as being the instigator, and therefore will decide if he should be let off the hook or not. This statement, however, does not mean that he is barred from getting a good (and safe) haircut. Time and place, man.

26 thoughts on “Order in the Court! The Honorable Judge MD presiding…

  1. Actually I’ve been enjoying the whole sequence of events. Which have wandered from the relatively innocent to the completely absurd…even with my influence!

    If it’s any consolation to Uncle Ben, your demise has brought a smile to my face.

    And will someone finally explain to me what this Dance-Dance Revolution thing is?? I’ve been challenged to it about 20 times now and I still haven’t a clue if I’m being challenged to a death duel or a trivia game or a ditch-digging contest.

    And sorry MD, I refuse to acknowledge the existance of Pricess FF…mostly to annoy you. 🙂

  2. Hey, if you want to be back on the hook, that’s OK with me…

    Anyway, DDR is basically a video game you play with your feet (hence, the dance-dance). It started over in Japan or something and is bound to become an Olympic sport someday.

    As for Princess FlickerFeather, you can deny her existence all you want, but then you’ll have to deal with her. She can whoop you in Dance-dance, too. Uncle Ben knows she exists, although he might not know that he knows…

  3. Ok, there are many things to which I have to respond. So if it seems like I’m confused then orange is eight, “If 6 was 9” for those of you in the know.

    First, as is obvious to anyone, I need a good and safe haircut. Has anyone considered a MOB Super Bowl Party with Doritos and haircuts?

    Next, I did that DDR thing before the national championship game between Ohio State and Miami a few years ago. It was fun, but you need to eat your Wheaties. I may be the whitest guy on the planet, but I’ve got rythym. We Lutheran chorists are legend.

    Kevin, PFF does exist. If I’m not mistaken she’s very nice and well read. I will not reveal her identity, but if she thinks she could beat me in a dance off, then she need only remind herself that she shares Prince D’s genes. (okay, I’m guessing here, but am I right?)

    As to the accusation that I started this… I bitterly deny it. Am I even cogent enough to start anything? Come on!

  4. Uncle Ben: You wanna go?! Bring it, white man!

    About PFF, they might share genes, but you should know they are as different as night and day. Plus, she got all the dancing genes.

    We will whoop you for your bitter denial.

  5. “Dance like a butterfly, sting like a bee”. Who said that MD? I’ll give you a clue, it wan’t Cautious Terra Cotta. Do you even think that I’ll need to break a sweat? The one possible caveat to that is I have too many burgers before the contest. Beef causes “Coordination Disorder”.

    Oh, weeeheee!!!! I guessed right! Well, it wasn’t really a guess, but still…

    NW, by this point I’m probably banned, but I’ll bring chips and/or salsa as a good will offering if you put something together.

  6. It was Mohammed Ali, white man who thinks he can dance.

    Why is it again that you think you’re so good?

    Oh well, it’ll be fun to watch you hop around to ‘Flashdance’.

  7. That’s it. Not only did I not use google, this is my challenge, and you cannot pick the songs. How do you like them apples?

  8. I am shocked and appalled. It appears that the jury is rigged and that I’ll just have to let my inner Fred Astaire win this battle for me. The best that I can say for this unfortunate turn of events is that Cathy isn’t threatening to get violent anymore. Is this indicative of a change of heart? I doubt it. Her use of a racially insensitive term and her wanton use of profanity make it clear that her blackened female heart still beats, enflamed by hatred of white, male, Norwegian dancers. Shame on her.

    (Kevin’s gender treachery is duly noted.)

  9. Oh Kev, you remembered my favorite beer. I tell you what…the thrashing that you were going to get? Now it officially belongs to The Whitest Person on the Planet. If there’s much left to thrash after my amazin’ Mall Diva crushes his mortal frame, ego, and soul in this dancing contest.

  10. Apostate, don’t count on the “no dying for me”.

    Cathy, does this mean that my id and super ego will survive? If so beware, because this experience will certainly internalize great big bucketloads of animosity and there will no longer be an ego to balance all that psyotherapist internal and external stuff. Grrrrr.

    Kevin, can I have some of your popcorn? Come on! I’m hungry. Don’t let Diva boss you around.

  11. No popcorn for you Ben! Here, have a rawhide. My dog claims they are great.

    NW : I could give you some more suggestions but it’ll just get me in trouble….again. And I’m liking this not being targetted for death thing.

  12. I would like to barge in and say I do exist and that I also enjoy reading what you all write. It is very amusing.

    I do apologize for possibly breaking in and ruining your flow, but MD really wanted me to talk so here I am.

  13. Uncle Ben, we’re gonna defenestrate you out of a first story window!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. Tiger, I appreciate your kindness. The rest of these vile commenters would surely defenestrate me from the second floor.

    Kevin, rawhide would likely be an improvement in my diet. Is it vitamin fortified?

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