We all piled into the car last week for the long drive to grandmother’s house for the holiday. Along the way we listened to a lot of the Mall Diva’s CD collection and a couple of my “oldies”. On one of the old CDs was a family favorite we’d almost forgotten, a parody of Sinatra’s “My Way” song, set in academia and entitled, “Their Way” (the Diva really likes Sinatra, by the way).

The song was done by a group called Bright Morning Star and is very funny, perhaps because it’s so close to reality (which makes it scary, too). Here are the lyrics; again, to the tune of “My Way”:

I came, I bought the books, lived in the dorms, followed directions.
I worked, I studied hard, made lots of friends who had connections.
I crammed, they gave me grades — and may I say not in a fair way.
But more, much more than this, I did it Their Way.

I learned so many things even though I’ll never use them.
The courses that I took were all required — I didn’t choose them.
You’ll find that to survive it’s best to play the doctrinaire way
And so I knuckled down and did it Their Way.

Yes, there were times I wondered why I had to cringe when I could fly.
I had my doubts, but after all I clipped my wings and learned to crawl.
I learned to bend, and in the end I did it Their Way.

And now, my fine young friends, now that I am a full professor,
Where once I was oppressed, now I become the cruel oppressor.
With me you’ll learn to cope, you’ll learn to climb life’s golden stairway.
But like me, you’ll see the light and do it Their Way.

For what is a man? What can I do? Open your books — read chapter two!
And if it seems a bit routine, don’t talk to me — go see the Dean.
They get their way, I get my pay… We do it Their Way!

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