Not too many people were shocked when Al Gore III was pulled over last week for speeding, drug possession and having a trunkload of counterfeit carbon credits. What was surprising was that he was clocked at more than 100 mph in a Prius! I’m not a motor-head like Jroosh, but that’s a speed I thought was approachable only if the car were dropped very high from a crane at the Sturgis Bike Rally.
Obviously there are a lot of easy jokes that can be (and were) made. I appreciate it when someone works a little harder for the humor, which is why I especially liked Nancy’s musical treatment at Away With Words:
I feel a song coming on (in the spirit of the Beachboys, the Daytonas, and Jan and Dean):
Hybrid Synergy Racin’ Machine
I was cruisin’ downtown in my Toyota Prius
– Cruise, little Prius! Whoosh! Whoosh!
Doing 50 mpg, just like they guarantee us.
– Conserve, little Prius! Whoosh! Whoosh!
When a big bad Hummer came up alongside
Said, “Hey, Granola–ready to ride?”I said, I know what you’re thinking–I’m an herbal-tea wuss.
– Rev, little Prius! Shush! Shush!
And I’ll never catch up in my Toyota Prius
– Glide, little Prius! Shush! Shush!
Yeah, my engine is silent–but it’s deadly, too
So buckle up, baby, ’cause I’m gunnin’ for you.Girl’s voice: “No, Al! No, Al! No, Al! Nooooooo!”
[refrain]
Well, I run on electric and I run on gas
Ain’t nobody here gonna kick my ass.
Prius is green–yeah!–but Prius is mean,
It’s a hybrid synergy racin’ machine.I push-button-started and began to roll
– Go, little Prius! Zip! Zip!
Passed the Hummer, a Porsche, and the Highway Patrol.
– Fight, little Prius! Zip! Zip!
I was doin’ a hundred on the southbound 5
Lost the Hummer on a curve, more dead than alive.[refrain]
Well, I run on electric and I run on gas
Ain’t nobody here gonna kick my ass!
Prius is green–yeah!–but Prius is mean,
It’s a hybrid synergy racin’ machine.
Whoa – talk about your little juiced coupe! I wonder if there’s any coming back from Dead Man’s Surge? Oh well, I guess Al III will have fun, fun, fun ’til Daddy takes the Prius away!
Touche, touche, and well put! Thanks for the tribute and the great wordplay.
but that’s a speed I thought was approachable only if the car were dropped very high from a crane at the Sturgis Bike Rally.
…can we do that? I’m in! I’ll bring the crane you bring the Prius!
Nothing like a series of Beach Boy allusions to mark the glories of summer.