Buffy brings the beau home —
Girl brings home suitor. Father tries to frighten suitor. For real or for jest. With harsh words. An intimidating stare.
Pa used arms the size of tree trunks and a highly arched brow. A friend’s dad employed over the counter drug tests. “Here. Pee in the cup.” The old codgers from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers used guns. Lined up the boys and whipped out the rifles.
Mine used dynamite.
T was the first and last guy I ever brought home to meet the family. I was 25. We’d been together for two years and it was his first visit to Appalachia. I should have been shocked by it all. I wasn’t. Not that I expected my father and his pack of dark-eyed brothers to blow up the mountain, close down the only road out and block any chance of escape for a good portion of the day. But I didn’t not expect it either.
Not funny.
Egads, I pity the poor fool who takes a shine to Diva. Do you plan to kill him outright? or just make him suffer?
I plan to lure him in, get him feeling relaxed and comfortable…and then, WHAM!
My daughter is five, and I’m starting to put together a list of Signs That The Guy Who Is Interested In You Is Scum And Should Be Avoided At All Costs, Or Maybe Even Taken Out And Shot.
1) He wears a ballcap backwards.
That’s all I got so far, but I have a few years yet.
Jeff, in building your list you’re going to want to consult this post re “Application to Date My Daughter” from April 10, 2005:
datemydaughter