At last in the middle of The Winter That Almost Wasn’t we’ve finally had a taste of the elements that have done so much to fuel the lore of Minnesota winters and the hardy folk who live here. We received six inches of snow on Sunday and tempertures dropped near zero overnight, and yesterday’s sunshine was as clear and brittle as a new icicle.
Of course, as tastes go, this is barely a smear of Velveeta on a cracker appetizer compared to what we can usually expect, but it is enough for me to take Big Blue — my 30-lb, multi-layered great coat — out of the closet and zip the collar up to the tip of my nose. Crossing the street to get to my office this morning I picked my way over the piles of snow and chunks of ice separating the sidewalk from the roadbed while words about “that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge” sledded across my brain.
Today also happens to be the birthday of Yukon poet Robert W. Service, and that occasion, combined with our winter blast, is the perfect excuse to run one of my all-time favorite poems here. Bundle up and enjoy!
The Cremation of Sam McGee
by Robert W. ServiceThere are strange things done in the midnight sun
By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee,
Where the cotton blooms and blows.
Why he left his home in the South to roam
‘Round the Pole, God only knows.
He was always cold, but the land of gold
Seemed to hold him like a spell;
Though he’d often say in his homely way
That he’d “sooner live in hell”.On a Christmas Day we were mushing our way
Over the Dawson trail.
Talk of your cold! through the parka’s fold
It stabbed like a driven nail.
If our eyes we’d close, then the lashes froze
Till sometimes we couldn’t see;
It wasn’t much fun, but the only one
To whimper was Sam McGee.And that very night, as we lay packed tight
In our robes beneath the snow,
And the dogs were fed, and the stars o’erhead
Were dancing heel and toe,
He turned to me, and “Cap,” says he,
“I’ll cash in this trip, I guess;
And if I do, I’m asking that you
Won’t refuse my last request.”Well, he seemed so low that I couldn’t say no;
Then he says with a sort of moan:
“It’s the cursed cold, and it’s got right hold
Till I’m chilled clean through to the bone.
Yet ’tain’t being dead — it’s my awful dread
Of the icy grave that pains;
So I want you to swear that, foul or fair,
You’ll cremate my last remains.”A pal’s last need is a thing to heed,
So I swore I would not fail;
And we started on at the streak of dawn;
But God! he looked ghastly pale.
He crouched on the sleigh, and he raved all day
Of his home in Tennessee;
And before nightfall a corpse was all
That was left of Sam McGee.There wasn’t a breath in that land of death,
And I hurried, horror-driven,
With a corpse half hid that I couldn’t get rid,
Because of a promise given;
It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say:
“You may tax your brawn and brains,
But you promised true, and it’s up to you
To cremate those last remains.”Now a promise made is a debt unpaid,
And the trail has its own stern code.
In the days to come, though my lips were dumb,
In my heart how I cursed that load.
In the long, long night, by the lone firelight,
While the huskies, round in a ring,
Howled out their woes to the homeless snows —
O God! how I loathed the thing.And every day that quiet clay
Seemed to heavy and heavier grow;
And on I went, though the dogs were spent
And the grub was getting low;
The trail was bad, and I felt half mad,
But I swore I would not give in;
And I’d often sing to the hateful thing,
And it hearkened with a grin.Till I came to the marge of Lake Lebarge,
And a derelict there lay;
It was jammed in the ice, but I saw in a trice
It was called the “Alice May”.
And I looked at it, and I thought a bit,
And I looked at my frozen chum;
Then “Here,” said I, with a sudden cry,
“Is my cre-ma-tor-eum.”Some planks I tore from the cabin floor,
And I lit the boiler fire;
Some coal I found that was lying around,
And I heaped the fuel higher;
The flames just soared, and the furnace roared —
Such a blaze you seldom see;
And I burrowed a hole in the glowing coal,
And I stuffed in Sam McGee.Then I made a hike, for I didn’t like
To hear him sizzle so;
And the heavens scowled, and the huskies howled,
And the wind began to blow.
It was icy cold, but the hot sweat rolled
Down my cheeks, and I don’t know why;
And the greasy smoke in an inky cloak
Went streaking down the sky.I do not know how long in the snow
I wrestled with grisly fear;
But the stars came out and they danced about
Ere again I ventured near;
I was sick with dread, but I bravely said:
“I’ll just take a peep inside.
I guess he’s cooked, and it’s time I looked”; . . .
Then the door I opened wide.And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm,
In the heart of the furnace roar;
And he wore a smile you could see a mile,
And he said: “Please close that door.
It’s fine in here, but I greatly fear
You’ll let in the cold and storm —
Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee,
It’s the first time I’ve been warm.”There are strange things done in the midnight sun
By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.
Always did like that one. Also reminds me of a joke I was told once. Went something like this.
Two Minnesotans get sent to hell.
Satan is making his rounds shortly after, and comes across the two Minnesotans who are cheerfully sitting around a campfire, with their parkas on.
Satan inquires how they can be sitting in parkas around a campfire when they are surrounded by the eternal hellfire of Hell.
The Minnesotans responded happily that this is the first time they’ve really been warm and are quite enjoying it.
Satan is mad, so he stokes the fires of Hell. The other souls cry out in anquish, while the Minnesotans calmly put their hoods down and remove their mittens.
Satan is pissed, he stokes the fires as they’ve never been stoked before. The Minnesotans unzip their parkas.
Finally Satan realizes he can’t beat them this way. They enjoy being warm finally. So he puts out the eternal hellfire and let’s Hell fall into a frigid state of cold.
Satan checks in on the Minnesotans and finds them cheerly loudly and dancing around their campfire.
“How can you be so happy not that you’re cold again” asks Satan.
The two Minnesotans turn and respond, “If Hell has frozen over it can only mean one thing! The Vikings won the Superbowl!”
Don’t get your hopes up Kevin, it will never happen.