Not content to wait until children enter public school to begin their political slandering and unsubtle brainwashing, those kindly Democrats have come up with an enchanting children’s book to explain what otherwise seems incomprehensible: why someone would be a Democrat. At least, I think it’s a children’s book; it might be a field manual for Howard Dean’s ground forces. (HT: Gordon at Dog Snot Diaries.) The web-site for the book describes its purpose: Why Mommy is a Democrat brings to life the core values of the Democratic party in ways that young children will easily understand and thoroughly enjoy. Using plain and non-judgmental language, along with warm and whimsical illustrations, this colorful 28-page paperback depicts the Democratic principles of fairness, tolerance, peace and concern for the well-being of others. It’s a great way for parents to gently communicate their commitment to these principles and explain their support for the party.

Aww, how sweet. But the very next two paragraphs, however, say (boldface emphasis mine):

Why Mommy is a Democrat may look like a traditional children’s book, but it definitely isn’t just for children. With numerous subtle (and not-so-subtle) satirical swipes at the Bush administration and the Republican party (in plain and non-judgmental language, of course), Why Mommy will appeal to Democrats of all ages!

Finally, a portion of the profits (such language!) will be donated to Democratic candidates and party organizations, so your purchase will help make an immediate difference!

Sample pages from the book include statements and illustrations such as:

“Democrats make sure we all share our toys, just like Mommy does.” (Illustration of friendly squirrels playing and sharing while well-dressed people walk by and turn their noses up at someone begging.)

“Democrats make sure we are always safe, just like Mommy does.” (Illustration of Mommy directing children away from an elephant going by).

“Democrats make sure children can go to school, just like Mommy does.” (Illustration of mommy packing backpacks for her children while rich people in the background stand with their daughter in front of a building that says ‘Admission $160,000’).

Since Democrats are so good and kind and want children to know the truth, and because they feel so strongly about their core values, I’m certain that the other pages in the book contain the following statements (you’ll have to think up the illustrations yourself):

• Democrats think Mommy had the right to kill you before you were born, just like Mommy does.
• Democrats say name-calling is all right, just like Mommy does.
• Democrats don’t want you to make decisions for yourself, just like Mommy does.
• Democrats think it’s more important to make sure the teacher’s union is protected than to make sure you get a good education, just like Mommy does.
• Democrats think you don’t need a Daddy, just like Mommy does.
• Democrats make sure that bullies are encouraged, just like Mommy does.
• Democrats want you to do as they say, not as they do, just like Mommy does.
• Democrats think people from other places have just as much right to play in your backyard as you do, just like Mommy does.
• Democrats think you will always need a nanny, no matter how old you are, just like Mommy does.

Of course, Mommy doesn’t really think and do these things. If she did she might be arrested for child abuse.

Yes, Mommy, I know, I’m not being very nice – but they started it!

Update:

David at Our House and Fuzzy Nietsche at Nihilist in Golf Pants are on the story as well. Mommy’s got some ‘splainin to do.

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