I saw this on the EckerNet (who got it from Kathy the Cake Eater) and couldn’t resist.

The Average American?
The Average American meets a number of criteria. Let’s see how I measure up.

Eats peanut butter at least once a week.
Heck no! Peanut butter is nasty!

Prefers smooth peanut butter over chunky.
Ok, if I have to eat peanut butter, it has to be chunky. I’m serious.

Can name all Three Stooges
Moe, Curly, and … that other one.

Lives within a 20-minute drive of a Wal-Mart.
Question: Does anyone not live within twenty minutes of a Walmart?

Eats at McDonald’s at least once a year.
Only if the alternative is starvation. Have you seen “Supersize Me”?

Takes a shower for approximately 10.4 minutes a day.
No comment.

Never sings in the shower.
I think that this question is wrong. It should be:
Never admits to singing in the shower.

Lives in a house, not an apartment or condominium. Has a home valued between $100,000 and $300,000
Yes, and no, respectively.

Has fired a gun.
Ooooohh, yeah.

Is between 5 feet and 6 feet tall.
Duh

Weighs 135 to 205.
Not even soaking wet, with my gun, in my boot.

Is between the ages of 18 and 53.
Haha!! Just shy.

Believes gambling is an acceptable entertainment option.
Actually, I think it’s really lame, though I do play poker with Starburst wrappers.

Grew up within 50 miles of current home.
Not grown up yet, but more mature than many!

So, I guess I am the very un-average American.
That’s fine with me. I’ve always known I was different.

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